What do you do with a drunken player?

[der_kluge]

I can't believe how tolerant everyone here is of this guy's behavior.

The dude drove there drunk. He's a danger to himself and to others on the road.
Once there, he proceeds to be rude to the other players - at the very least can't play worth a crap, isn't contributing anything worthwhile to the game, and insults the other players.

This guy needs to know that his behavior is NOT acceptable.

If I were the OP, I probably would have asked the GM if I could have spoken to him privately during the game. I would have made my position very clear - I would NOT be comfortable with this guy present, and I would probably have taken the position that the game would have been better off without him present.

It's obvious that this was not a freak occurrence. The guy clearly has a problem with alcohol, and needs to get help.

He's not going to get help if he believes that his behavior isn't causing any problems.

 

[jaerdaph]

It's obvious that this was not a freak occurrence. The guy clearly has a problem with alcohol, and needs to get help.

He's not going to get help if he believes that his behavior isn't causing any problems.

You are right this is serious, especially with the drunk driving. I do think his friends should say something to him. As for the original poster, an alcoholic isn't going to listen to someone they just met. I would talk to the guys friends again and suggest to them that they consider intervening. Forget making an assclown out of himself around the game table. Driving while intoxicated is serious.

 

[Umbran]

If I were the OP, I probably would have asked the GM if I could have spoken to him privately during the game. I would have made my position very clear - I would NOT be comfortable with this guy present, and I would probably have taken the position that the game would have been better off without him present.

Well, perhaps you should note that the OP was a visitor in someone else's house and game.

If a stranger comes up to someone and gives them a hard time about their alcohol use, the usual first reaction isn't going to be "Well, gosh, you're right! I'm a drunken sot and need to clean up my act." The usual reaction (especially from the disruptive drunk) is to tell you to... go jump in a lake. The OP's objection, in a crowd of people who were still accepting the behavior, would probably not have been constructive.

And, honestly, if the guy was drunk, the one thing you don't want to do is give him reason to get mad, and then storm out of the house and get back in his car and drive. Changing the guy's behavior is something to be attempted later on, when he's sober and less a danger to others.

 

[jaerdaph]

And, honestly, if the guy was drunk, the one thing you don't want to do is give him reason to get mad, and then storm out of the house and get back in his car and drive. Changing the guy's behavior is something to be attempted later on, when he's sober and less a danger to others.

QFT.

 

[Masquerade]

What do you do with a drunken player?

Cancel the game, but make sure the drunken player doesn't drive anywhere. If the player has not apologized to everyone else that was there than night (or, at the very least, the host and the DM) within two or three days, give a call to explain why he/she is not being invited back.

 

[Mark]

I am ashamed of this community that it took until post 20 for this song to start.

Was I being too subtle?

 

[Jades Ditoyr]

As a DM, I usually split the PC off from the group, quickly kill him off, watch the player get up set, then fall asleep, and then "Now, as for cannon game material, your friend is drunk in the bar and nursing a huge hangover, you get the idea its best to go without him."

But in your case, just don't go back. Thank everybody (but the drunk) for their hospitality and warm reception, but you've reached the point in your gaming career that drunks disrupt your enjoying the game. Offer to host a game on occassion, so that they realize that you do in fact like them.

But make it clear that the drunk is not allowed to show up under the influence.

 

[Kesh]

Asking my friend later, they said he's always like that, and "It's just the way he is, let it go". I don't know why they put up with it, honestly. On the one hand I definitely hate seeing my friends get pushed around, but on the other... as an outsider, is it my place to say something about their group dynamics.

Once you're gaming with them, you're not an outsider. You're part of a gaming group, even if you're a newbie. Behavior that makes you uncomfortable needs to be brought out in the open. Just tell them, "Hey, I'm not cool with that." One thing I've learned from rpg.net is that "No gaming is better than Bad gaming."* If you're not having fun, there's no reason to be there.

Why put up with someone who's so boorish and upleasant to be around? Do they just not want to rock the boat? Loyalty taken to extremes?

It's a common problem. People don't want to lose their friends, or hurt their feelings, so they tolerate behavior that would normally result in the person being told "no." It's a bad habit many people are stuck in.

ENWorld, what would you have done? Is there something I can do to help my friends out?

Tell your friends: "Look, I know you like him. But I'm not comfortable with that kind of behavior. I want to game with all of you, but not while anyone is that drunk. Can we get together and agree on that?" If the answer is no (either from the group as a whole, or just from the problem player), thank them for their time and let them know you won't be gaming with them anymore.

Don't be rude, or condescending. (And it's very easy to be taken that way, so choose your words carefully and state them clearly.) Just make it clear that hanging out with someone that drunk is not fun for you. If you're there to have fun, there's no reason you should be dealing with that.

* Other things I've learned from rpg.net are less applicable, such as the utility of ignore lists.

 

[Janx]

Was I being too subtle?

the song was the first thing that popped in my head when I saw the thread title, before I even opened it. Heck, I planned on posting a song bit, and was dissappointed to see that the first 20 posts were non-song, and then that some other folks beat me to it.

 

[Ry]

Was I being too subtle?

Sorry, what? I can't read anything more than two sentences long...