What do you do with a drunken player?

[Sound of Azure]

Hi all,

I wanted to ask the community for a bit of advice. Over the weekend I had the opportunity to visit some gaming friends I haven't seen for a while. I was asked to join in as one of the party's tag-along NPCs, which I readily agreed to. It was the best option, since I was only going to be there for that session, and a character of my own popping in and out would have been really disruptive. All the players were there, except one guy who was late.

Anyhow, it seemed all hunky dory initially- a bit of out of game chatter (mostly me, I'm the deity of out of game chatter ), jokes around the table, etc. Then the late player turned up. He was totally smashed. I'm all for a bit of social lubricant, but I was concerned... especially since he'd driven to the game (he was staying at the DM's place overnight, thankfully).

As the game went on, I got more and more uncomfortable. The drunk player was extremely rude to everyone, especially to two players in particular. Insults about people's appearance, play style, intelligence and so on were thrown about with abandon.

It could have been my annoyance colouring my perceptions, but I think everyone was starting to get irritated with him. I wanted to say something, but:
1) It wasn't my house.
2) I was a guest, and not one of the regular players.
3) (Most of) the other players have been friends with this guy longer than they've known me.

Asking my friend later, they said he's always like that, and "It's just the way he is, let it go". I don't know why they put up with it, honestly. On the one hand I definitely hate seeing my friends get pushed around, but on the other... as an outsider, is it my place to say something about their group dynamics.

Why put up with someone who's so boorish and upleasant to be around? Do they just not want to rock the boat? Loyalty taken to extremes?

ENWorld, what would you have done? Is there something I can do to help my friends out?

 

[frankthedm]

I'm a lush to the Nth degree, but even In know there is still this thing called "Time and place". However, if thats the way thing are, thats the way things are.

 

[Treebore]

He wouldn't be in my house. Even before I got married and had kids I didn't put up with that kind of behaviour. I figure if you really are my friend you would stay sober enough to not be an obnoxious mule like animal.

 

[Piratecat]

I'd gently take him aside, ask him to step away from the game til he's sober, and let him play video games or nap. This same situation actually happened in my game, and I really wish I'd ask the player to step away from the table. It was uncomfortable for everyone.

 

[jdrakeh]

I found that playing D&D didn't mix well with drugs or booze for me. If you knew me better, that statement would be much more profound (there was a period of time in my life when I did pretty much everything under the infleunce). That said, things are what they are, and if this guy is like I was, nothing you can say or do will change that. He'll quit being an obnoxious drunken idiot when he decides to quit. Period.

 

[HelloChristian]

Wow. I'm always surprised at drunken gamer stories. I understand being beaned up on coffee or mountain dew, but alcohol...kind of hard to concentrate.

That was very polite of you to hold your tongue. You showed retrain when the other fellow clearly did not. I'd let the DM know that you will not be coming back if that's the sort of environment being offered.

 

[JRRNeiklot]

Wow. I'm always surprised at drunken gamer stories. I understand being beaned up on coffee or mountain dew, but alcohol...kind of hard to concentrate.

That was very polite of you to hold your tongue. You showed retrain when the other fellow clearly did not. I'd let the DM know that you will not be coming back if that's the sort of environment being offered.

Take him to the nudie bar and drop him off. Then call his wife and tell her where he is.

 

[Friadoc]

While I'm a firm proponent that people should live their lives how they wish and choose, I'm also fervent that no one should have to tolerate inconsiderate and insulting behavior. Period.

If the situation bothers you then you should speak up, if the others don't agree you can always apologize for stepping on their toes.

In my games, we just don't get drunk, period. I've drank at games, but it was light social drinking and not hardcore, smash mouth, fall down drunk.

When someone is the normal social/side chatter/BSing at the table stuff, that is one thing, but drunk and disorderly is just, well, not something that should be tolerate because it could easily escalate beyond just words.

*shrugs*

That's just my two cents on the generalities of such a situation.

 

[Dragon-Slayer]

I sometimes (not always by any stretch of the imagination) have a couple of beers before a game or during, but never even enough to get a buzz and certainly not enough to be drunk.

I don't see anything wrong with a drink or two to calm the nerves and to me a little alcohol helps some people come out of their shells a little more and much better than sitting next to someone pinging off of too much coffee. However, if there was a drunk and it wasn't my house I would politely excuse myself and leave. I would rather not waste my time dealing with a drunk.

 

[Sound of Azure]

Wow. I'm always surprised at drunken gamer stories. I understand being beaned up on coffee or mountain dew, but alcohol...kind of hard to concentrate.

That was very polite of you to hold your tongue. You showed retrain when the other fellow clearly did not. I'd let the DM know that you will not be coming back if that's the sort of environment being offered.

I should clarify by saying that there was alcohol at the table (a few beers, glasses of red, etc). It was an evening game, so a bit to drink is nice, but moderation is what I generally expect. Otherwise, as you said, it gets hard to concentrate.

That being said, having a Storyteller who is somewhat high (I don't partake, but each to their own) certainly makes for...interesting... Changeling games.

As for going back, it was really just a social catch-up in my case, not for an ongoing game (thank goodness?).

Take him to the nudie bar and drop him off. Then call his wife and tell her where he is.

Alas, he's a bachelor.