evileeyore
Mrrrph
The Definition of 'Vorpal'
At work today I heard the best answer to the question 'What does Vorpal mean?'.
I was near the front counter packaging up saw blades for UPS shipping. A customer comes to pick up his order, with young child in tow. The kid is like maybe 6 or 8, and is telling (apparently) his Dad about all the words he learned in vocabulary class today and what they meant. He ends it with 'I knows all the words there are!', and was quite proud of this. His Father just 'Uh-uhs' him and keeps talking up the salesman. The kid sundenly gets all crest-fallen.
So I lean over (and thinking about this very thread) say 'All of 'em, huh?'
'Yuppers'
'Do you know what Vorpal means?'
The kid looks confused for a few minutes, and his Dad starts paying real close attention to me. To illuminate, I look like an unkempt version of Grizzly Adams. And after the heat, sweat, grease, dirt and hard work of the day, probably smell like 'im too.
So I say to Dad 'Its a word Lewis Carrol used in the poem Jabberwocky, in Alice in Wonderland.'
Dad looks realived, like this hairy reject isn't some child-napper, just a poetry nut. And we know their all harmless. :rollseyes
The kid says 'Nope. I don't know that one' and seems all mystified by the sound of it. He keeps sayin it to himself for the next couple of minutes.
Dad starts to wrap it up, and the kid says to him 'Dad what does Vorpal mean?'
Dad looks annoyed. He says 'I don't know. And I ain't wasten time to figure it out." So kid turns to me, 'What does Vorpal mean?'
'If I tell you the poem, think you can figure it out?'
'Yuppers' Kid seems happy, like finally someone takes him seriously.
His Dad 'You ain't smart enough to figure it out (child saddens)... -sigh- ... If you figure it out I'll get you a Kit-Kat.' Dad rolls eyes.
At this point I decided no matter what the child thought Vorpal meant, yuppers that was what I would say it meant. Roll your eyes, I'll roll your head... mental mumble grumble...
So I recite Jabberwocky.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
...
and so on, and so on...
The Father was actually amused, the kid was enthralled, my BOSS had walked in looked pretty upset (I was goofing off apparently).
'So what does Vorpal mean?'
'It means, ummm, I Cut Your Head Off!'
I swear images of a prepubescent ninja flipping out and totally cutting my head off went through my mind. I laughed, the kid busted out, and even Dad ha-ha-ed.
"You got in one little dude.'
Kid had Kit-Kat and all is happy. Unless Daddy learns how to read a dictionary in next few days...
I Cut Your Head Off. Snicker-Snack.
EvilE
At work today I heard the best answer to the question 'What does Vorpal mean?'.
I was near the front counter packaging up saw blades for UPS shipping. A customer comes to pick up his order, with young child in tow. The kid is like maybe 6 or 8, and is telling (apparently) his Dad about all the words he learned in vocabulary class today and what they meant. He ends it with 'I knows all the words there are!', and was quite proud of this. His Father just 'Uh-uhs' him and keeps talking up the salesman. The kid sundenly gets all crest-fallen.
So I lean over (and thinking about this very thread) say 'All of 'em, huh?'
'Yuppers'
'Do you know what Vorpal means?'
The kid looks confused for a few minutes, and his Dad starts paying real close attention to me. To illuminate, I look like an unkempt version of Grizzly Adams. And after the heat, sweat, grease, dirt and hard work of the day, probably smell like 'im too.
So I say to Dad 'Its a word Lewis Carrol used in the poem Jabberwocky, in Alice in Wonderland.'
Dad looks realived, like this hairy reject isn't some child-napper, just a poetry nut. And we know their all harmless. :rollseyes
The kid says 'Nope. I don't know that one' and seems all mystified by the sound of it. He keeps sayin it to himself for the next couple of minutes.
Dad starts to wrap it up, and the kid says to him 'Dad what does Vorpal mean?'
Dad looks annoyed. He says 'I don't know. And I ain't wasten time to figure it out." So kid turns to me, 'What does Vorpal mean?'
'If I tell you the poem, think you can figure it out?'
'Yuppers' Kid seems happy, like finally someone takes him seriously.
His Dad 'You ain't smart enough to figure it out (child saddens)... -sigh- ... If you figure it out I'll get you a Kit-Kat.' Dad rolls eyes.
At this point I decided no matter what the child thought Vorpal meant, yuppers that was what I would say it meant. Roll your eyes, I'll roll your head... mental mumble grumble...
So I recite Jabberwocky.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
...
and so on, and so on...
The Father was actually amused, the kid was enthralled, my BOSS had walked in looked pretty upset (I was goofing off apparently).
'So what does Vorpal mean?'
'It means, ummm, I Cut Your Head Off!'
I swear images of a prepubescent ninja flipping out and totally cutting my head off went through my mind. I laughed, the kid busted out, and even Dad ha-ha-ed.
"You got in one little dude.'
Kid had Kit-Kat and all is happy. Unless Daddy learns how to read a dictionary in next few days...
I Cut Your Head Off. Snicker-Snack.
EvilE
