What etiquette rules do we assume is common in the community?

Sure. But it's not my groups' mode. That doesn't mean that we "don't really understand what a TTRPG is."

I wouldn't consider cooperative storytelling to be a devolution. It's a different way of playing, and one many, many people like--and joke names can break the mood easily. If you enjoy just killing monsters and taking their stuff and nothing deeper, that's fine, but it's not better than other types of gaming.
So it sounds like a common table etiquette is something like:

"Choose character names (or concepts) that fit the feel of the game."
 

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Speaking for myself and the vast majority of gamers I have known since 1979, body odor is a deal breaker. It also indicates a unacceptable lack of respect for the social activity that is F2F gaming.

I wouldn't call it controlling, however. Its a simple management of expectations: if you stink, and can't be bothered to bathe, you won't be at my table. I won't bother to encourage or induce you to change, you'll simply be turned away at the door and never invited again.
Same.

I'll note as well, had a friend who came to game straight from work (Taco Bell hell)... and after work stank, so we had him stash a towel, and take a shower upon arrival. He didn't stink due to laziness, merely due to circumstance; he also is fun to have in game. The 10 minute "inconvenience" of the bathroom being in use wasn't really an issue.
 

That wouldn't bother me. I have a current player who plays the same character in every campaign. He writes a different backstory for each one, but when actual play begins, it's the same exact PC (in terms of development, personality, love of killing short people/midgets, etc).
We collectively roll our eyes, make fun of the name, and then get on with the game. While I find it mildly annoying, the player shows up regularly, on time, and engages with the game, so I can put up with some eccentricities.
 

I wouldn't consider cooperative storytelling to be a devolution. It's a different way of playing, and one many, many people like--and joke names can break the mood easily. If you enjoy just killing monsters and taking their stuff and nothing deeper, that's fine, but it's not better than other types of gaming.
Suitable names for the group and game are a key element of "Don't be a dick."

And that can be very different from game to game and from group to group
 


Speaking for myself and the vast majority of gamers I have known since 1979, body odor is a deal breaker. It also indicates a unacceptable lack of respect for the social activity that is F2F gaming.
There was a guy in a game I played in at a FLGS that showed up every week smelling really bad. It didn't take very long before we gave him an ultimatum, shower or don't come back. I understand some kids grew up in broken homes or one where their parents didnt have the money to afford some necessities of life, but when you are in your mid to late 20s you'd think that even if that were the case you'd find a way to shower at least occasionally enough to get the funk out.
 

Seriously, though, I’ve been in the hobby since ‘77, and because of being an Army Brat & going off to school, etc., I’ve played RPGs in 3 states in 5 different metropolitan areas with I don’t recall how many different groups.

Each group’s etiquette depended on a bunch of variables: age of the participants, venue hosting the gaming, and just the general passing of time.

I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve only encountered one person with abhorrent hygiene practices- including nose picking at the table- and only one person whose politics were so radically different from mine that it could have been a serious issue had it not been for an almost Highlander-esque treatment of the host’s home as a neutral site.*

As for “passing of time”? It’s not a dealbreaker for me if electronic devices are not allowed at the table, but it would require me to make some adjustments. I’ve been storing all of my PCs, NPCs and Campaign Notes, etc. on PDAs, phones or tablets for something like 20 years now. Almost nothing exists in physical form. And even though I probably have 85% of the books for the systems I play the most, I maintain bookmarks for SRDs and other play aids- very handy for finding things on the fly or helping those who don’t have the books.

Bonus: it’s a lot easier to pass notes to the GM via text than a folded piece of paper.





* In retrospect, it’s still disturbing and disappointing they kept welcoming that guy into the game night
 

Another rule of etiquette that really pisses me off if not adhered to, and I always make it a point to make sure everyone is aware of from day 1, DON'T SHOW UP TO MY HOUSE TO PLAY IF YOU ARE SICK. I'd rather cancel a session than have one person show up and get everyone else sick. Famous last words, when you ask someone if they are sick and their answer is "No, its just a cold".
 

Bonus: it’s a lot easier to pass notes to the GM via text than a folded piece of paper.
True. But before cell phones and texting, myself, another player and the DM were playing a pick-up game of 2E AD&D. Our characters didn't know each other and at the very beginning of the session the other player stole a potion out of my backpack. I noticed him do it but he quickly disappeared into the crowd of the city street. The entire night was me chasing him through the city, I don't think we spoke in character all night and just threw notes back and forth to the DM all game. In the aftermath the floor was littered with hundreds of tiny pieces of balled up paper. It was a really fun game, and ultimately when I got the potion back, it turned out to be something next to useless.
 

Another rule of etiquette that really pisses me off if not adhered to, and I always make it a point to make sure everyone is aware of from day 1, DON'T SHOW UP TO MY HOUSE TO PLAY IF YOU ARE SICK. I'd rather cancel a session than have one person show up and get everyone else sick. Famous last words, when you ask someone if they are sick and their answer is "No, its just a cold".
Another beauty in the endless parade of advantages to online play: we had a player down with COIVD, and he still made the game. I'll never go back to F2F.
 

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