What etiquette rules do we assume is common in the community?

[MGibster]

In terms of body odor related to poor hygiene, I'd be interested in how many people would openly confront someone about this, especially at a convention game. I would feel it to be impolite to do so with a stranger at a FLGS or convention game. Even with people I know fairly well, it would have to be pretty egregious before I would bring it up.

I've never confronted someone about their hygiene in a personal capicity but I've done so professionally and it's always super awkward. In HR, I've had to talk to employees who smelled so bad their coworkers complained. I don't beat around the bush, I try to be polite, explain that there have been complaints and odor, and I alway ask if there is perhaps a medical problem. Sometimes people do have illnesses, conditions, or are on medications that lead to bad odor and there isn't a lot they can do about it.

The other time I had to deal with it was when I worked at a museum. We had a visitor come in, probably homeless, and he smelled so bad it stung the nostrils. Now I never had an objection to homeless people coming into the building, it was a public facility and they were more than welcome to visit, but this guy had an unholy stench that was unbearable. I was able to locate him in the building just by following his stench. I felt like Wolverine or Daredevil. As politely as I could, I explained to him that his odor was extremely off putting, that I could still smell him in the room he just walked through, and that he would have to leave but was welcome to return once he was able to clean himself.

 

[Jd Smith1]

Mind elaborating? Not a fan of shorts outside the gym or beach myself, but would never have thought to ban others at my game table from wearing shorts.

We had a guy who affected a kilt. It had to be done.

Do you actually cover any of these etiquette rules during the vetting process or do you just feel them out? I suspect the later. About the only etiquette rule I listed that I do bring up with new players is the no politics rule.

I cover all the rules, although being online now has trimmed the list down considerably, especially since we don't use video. Mainly, I focus on expectations and personality type.

 

[Baron Opal II]

I have encountered a Placenta. Top that.

"Eurethyra"

She enjoyed stories of Eurydice, and she adopted that name.

 

[Clint_L]

In terms of body odor related to poor hygiene, I'd be interested in how many people would openly confront someone about this, especially at a convention game. I would feel it to be impolite to do so with a stranger at a FLGS or convention game. Even with people I know fairly well, it would have to be pretty egregious before I would bring it up.

So, this is something that teachers of teenagers have to deal with on occasion, and it is really tricky. On the one hand, you are not doing anyone a favour by letting them be stinky, and it does not help their social status, believe you me. On the other, having a teacher talk to you one on one about your smell would be humiliating for anyone and could badly damage a relationship if handled poorly, not mention emotional damage to the kid themselves.

I generally speak very plainly to students; as a rule I think it is respectful to treat them as smart people who don't need to be coddled (but occasionally, they do need to be coddled - being a teenager is hard!). On the first day of class, I cover the general expectations for our shared space, and I include hygiene and smell, specifically. I reiterate that as of adolescence bodies get stinkier and regular showering or bathing is a must, as is wearing deodorant, particularly after strenuous activity like playing soccer at lunch. Use of artificial scents like perfume or cologne is forbidden at our school (all schools these days, I imagine), so I remind them about that. A lot of kids have lunch in my classroom, but smelly foods are also forbidden (e.g. tzatziki) - I have classes in there!

When I do have to talk to students one on one, and this has happened specifically in D&D Club, I don't make a big thing about it. I'll just privately say something like, "Hey, getting a bit ripe, don't forget the deodorant." On occasion, I get a student in my homeform whose parents are clearly not covering the hygiene talk, so I do it, again in very plain language and non-judgmentally.

 

[Jd Smith1]

In terms of body odor related to poor hygiene, I'd be interested in how many people would openly confront someone about this, especially at a convention game. I would feel it to be impolite to do so with a stranger at a FLGS or convention game. Even with people I know fairly well, it would have to be pretty egregious before I would bring it up.

Confront is a strong word. While I am well-known here as both kind and subtle, I would not (and have not) hesitate to tell someone with whom I was sharing a social event, that they stank. Not in a store or other passing encounter, though.

Someone's unwashed funk intruding into my personal space is unacceptable.

 

[S'mon]

Here in England, the player who doesn't drink alcohol during the game is the one likely to get the weird looks.

We do have a player who's vegetarian, but it's because of what he saw as a first responder to the 7/7 Underground massacre.