What fantasy stories are should be done next on the big screen?

[WayneLigon]

Personally, I'm still waiting on a decent Lord of the Rings movie.

If the Tolkien estate grants it, you'll probably wait at least 20-30 years for the remake. If Hollywood hasn't dropped the idea of remakes by then. Of course, by 2028, Hollywood is reeling under the bold new directions of the Indian buyers who purchased most of the studios in 2021.

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship does the first two books in one movie, dropping most of the travelling in favor of set peices in The Shire, Bree, Lothlorien, and in Hall of Rohan. Hollywood's new masters, riding high on the first waves of their successes with Gone with the Wind and Titanic II, infuse the Holy Trilogy with a formula that has worked wonders in the largest film-making industry on Earth in 2005 and has only grown since then.

I'm talking of course about the big musical number. Lots of them. Like 'Singing in the Rain' only with elves and more leaping water fountains. Aragorn's solo in the second movie is more than 20 minutes long.

In 2040, the Tolkien estate succumbs to multiple legal attacks and the new MultiNet digital rights mean that the Trilogy rights enter the public domain. Still, the Trilogy lays fallow for a mere 20 years until it's dusted off for a quickie treatment with an all-CGI cast. Reviews are terrible and taints the property for a good 50 years as it keeps popping up as a Christmas Special.

By this time, we've totally eschewed the big production number and a crew of reasonable and level headed Canadians takes the property under it's wing. They labor for almost six years on adapting the trilogy for the combination stage/backdrop that now encompases film making. The retro movement sweeping America means that the Fellowship is filmed in 8 mm with no special effects at all. Aragorn is a normal man in a business suit, a bit of pine straw pinned to his lapel reminding us of the Woods archtype he represents. All players deliver their lines while seated in a semi-circle. The sets make Our Town look like a Busby Berkely production.

Finally in 2100, Speilburg's head atop the preserved body of Michael Bay remakes the Trilogy word for word and line by line from Tolkien. The first movie is five hours long and features an all-NuRealityConstruct Tom Bombadil. It bombs because all the fantasy fans starved to death in 2090 when Virtual Reality World of Warcraft X was released.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Finally in 2100, Speilburg's head atop the preserved body of Michael Bay remakes the Trilogy word for word and line by line from Tolkien. The first movie is five hours long and features an all-NuRealityConstruct Tom Bombadil. It bombs because all the fantasy fans starved to death in 2090 when Virtual Reality World of Warcraft X was released.

Damn, that would be a boring trilogy. In FotR alone, the scenes in the Shire would drag on for a good hour, it would take them another hour to reach Rivendell, then we'd have a 45-minute long Council of Elrond scene, etc.

And all throughout the trilogy, we'd have to put up with characters spontaniously breaking into bad song and poetry.

On the bright side, though, a LotR remake that slavishly adheres to the source material would have a less annoying Legolas.

 

[Ranger REG]

If the Tolkien estate grants it,

Tolkien Estate?!?!!! Did Saul Zentz and Tolkien Enterprise lost the right?

I hate Chris Tolkien...

 

[WayneLigon]

Tolkien Estate?!?!!! Did Saul Zentz and Tolkien Enterprise lost the right? I hate Chris Tolkien...

I have no idea. I assumed the Tolkien estate still retained all the rights and approvals and stuff.

 

[WayneLigon]

Damn, that would be a boring trilogy. In FotR alone, the scenes in the Shire would drag on for a good hour, it would take them another hour to reach Rivendell, then we'd have a 45-minute long Council of Elrond scene, etc.

Kinda my point. As an aside, I dunno if anyone remembers it, but the 'Aragorn in a business suit' is a swipe at something done in the... later 70's? They did all of Wagner's plays as some tribute to a something-th anniversary, I think. Only because they were afraid of being accused of being pro-Nazi they got some French guy to be the... whatever is the equivilant of a executive producer is, or something like that. Anyway, most of the plays were pretty darn good anyway, but whenever Odin came on... instead of some massive guy in furs and with one eye and the ravens and whatever... he was a skinny guy in a normal Western business suit.

The moral of our tale is: you never know what you're going to get in any media production. The next couple Tolkien remakes could be total crap.

On the bright side, though, a LotR remake that slavishly adheres to the source material would have a less annoying Legolas.

See, I could quite happily go to Legolas: The Movie and be a happy camper

 

[KaosDevice]

I would kill for a Good Omens adaptation. I love that book.

 

[TanisFrey]

On a Pale Horse by Piers Anthony
The first book of his Incarnations of Immortality

That would be a good scifi-fansity to make. The last 2 books in this series would never be made into a movie. they would upset way too many relgios persons.

 

[S. Baldrick]

Yet another vote for Elric.
I also have to throw in David Gemmell's "Legend" and Scott Butcher's "Dresden Files."

 

[Ranger REG]

I have no idea. I assumed the Tolkien estate still retained all the rights and approvals and stuff.

Nope. LOTR and Hobbit IP are owned by Tolkien Enterprise. The rest of J.R.R. Tolkien's works are under the iron fists of Chris Tolkien and the Tolkien Estate. As long as he have breath, he and his loyal trustee will never let Silmarilion be made into other medium but books and audiobooks.

 

[JEL]

Nope. LOTR and Hobbit IP are owned by Tolkien Enterprise. The rest of J.R.R. Tolkien's works are under the iron fists of Chris Tolkien and the Tolkien Estate. As long as he have breath, he and his loyal trustee will never let Silmarilion be made into other medium but books and audiobooks.

We have Christopher to thank for the fact that we can read the Silmarillion and his father's other notes at all, so I have no hate for the man. I can hardly blame him either for not liscensing it either. Would you trust Hollywood with your father's greatest work?