Preferred playstyle: Pretty old school. Rulings over rules, fast paced, the adventure (which is all 3 pillars pretty evenly) over the mechanics. I.e., don't let a rule get in the way of your group having fun. Prefer niche protection.
My preferred playstyle is pretty much the same as yours.
Maybe with a preference on the
exploration pillar, also reflected in a preference for
sandbox campaigns.
I like characters playing on their strengths to emphasize the
role in "roleplay game".
Tweaks to 5e:
* rests: how often the group can rest is heavily dependent on the game world and their surroundings. Monsters don't go on pause, and will actively look for the PCs if they know they are in the area. This results in slightly less rests than in the guidelines, and gives the game more of a gritty feeling where resource management and tactical planning are important rather than just rush into each battle knowing you'll probably win
* spell components: Completely ignored unless it's something major or really valuable. Just not something I worry about managing
* encumbrance: ignored unless it gets outrageous or crazy
* ad hoc actions: these are the "swing from the chandelier" type things. Players are encouraged to try anything, even if they are not proficient or if there's not a rule for it. No reasonable request should ever be unreasonably denied. Often it's as simple as assigning a DC and ability to go with it, or an attack roll if in combat. Examples include maneuvers like disarming, tripping, throwing sand to blind, leaping over an overturned table to attack, dropping from a balcony, jumping from table to table, etc. 5e does a great job having most of these fall under existing skill checks (athletics, acrobatics, etc).
* morale: If the battle is going really badly for the monsters, and they are not mindless, morale may come into effect and they may flee. Every situation is different, with factors coming into play (is the monster just hungry, does it have a vendetta, etc? All things that might make it flee sooner, or not at all).
* Initiative: Everyone rolls like normal, I have one roll for all monsters (but they may go differently depending on their individual DEX mod). Say my monsters go on 13. I call out "Everyone above 13 may go." then the monsters go, then I call out, "Everyone else can go." Makes the game go much faster, and allows the players to hold actions much more to my tastes than in the rules.
I basically do these too, except the last (I have them go in order, as per normal rules), and I don't even consider these house rules but more like game management style.
To steer the game towards my style, I also do the following:
- I enforce the right of the DM to grant checks: that the player has the right to attempt at everything doesn't mean there is a check. As a more specific case, I often decide to grant a check depending on whether you're
proficient or not, which might mean autosuccess if proficient vs check needed if nonproficient, or it might mean check needed if proficient vs autofailure if nonproficient; the most typical case I use the latter, is with
knowledge checks.
- I discourage the use of
books at the table. I use small printouts to help players with descriptions of their character's abilities. Ideally, I would use
ability cards but I never had the time to design past a bunch of samples.
- I experiment with various custom
character sheets to help players focus on their characters' roles.
- I tweak XP awards to pace advancement instead of using standard values.
- I don't bother doing precision balancing of encounters, or adventuring days.
- I offer alternatives to PC's deaths, discussed with the rest of the group.
- I create dynamic magic items that are typically more powerful (not "vertically" but rather in terms of number of abilities) and complicated than usual. "Dynamic" means they can change overtime.