What to say when someone calls RPGs "Evil" [Humor]

[shilsen]

You throw a bag at them, yell "Fireball! Fireball! Fireball!", and run away, cackling to yourself.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

When this happens to me, I shout out “EVIL!”

Then I roll my eyes up into my head, bite the person making the accusation very hard, do not let go, shake my head and make “guurhheugheheg” sounds.

…
…

I have been permanently banned from 21 book stores in three states.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

I always play, for those new to D&D (and for my mother, who all of a sudden wondered after over 25 years of my playing that it was evil), the wonderfully funny MP3 by the Dead Alewives, exposing "for the first time" what goes on in an actual D&D game. [I played that for Mom at Thanksgiving--I think she's over the whole evil thing now.] Search it on Google. Should be required for all gamers.

Player: "So I can cast any of these spells?"
DM: "Any of the first level ones."
Player: I'm casting...Magic Missile!
DM: What are you casting it at, it's dark, you can't see anything!
Player: I'm...I'm attacking the darkness!

I could go on and on quoting it...

Yes, I know that one. Someone made a flash cartoon out of it, using the 8-bit theater characters.

 

[Sejs]

"Satanic? No, not any more. Satan got bought out way back in the late 80s/early 90s."


Q: "You play D&D? But isn't that game evil?"
A: "No, not at all. I mean all we're basically doing is making up a play as we go along, so really it's no more evil than improv theate... er, actually wait.. that's a really bad example. Let me try again..."

 

[kirinke]

Uniformed Person: Isn't D&D evil?

Me: Um. What's your definition of evil?

Uniformed Person: Isn't D&D satanic?

Me: Um... What's your defination of satanic?

 

[slaunt]

This Happened to me and my friends while we were standing in the middle of the local movie theatre parking lot.
It was after spiderman two, me and a couple members of my gaming group were talkin about the movie, and the next gaming session, it was close to midnight. A guy in a white security truck pulled up next to us, told us, that he just yelled at a bunch of teenagers for just standing around, and then told us to leave when we were ready, but wanted to make sure that the teenie boppers saw him talking to us. Told us to have a good night.
So here we are, two over weight guys(one being me) and the other a huge giant of a guy. A skinny scraggly guy, and a pale skinned neat freak wearing a nintendo t-shirt.
Some kids pull up in their car, and asked if we had a gameboy(wich was kinda funny cause i did), then they began to rip on spider man, and, asked if we wanted a copy of the first movie. Jon(The skinny neat freak) Shouted yeah, so i can shove it up your a--" They then drove off, laughing.
I turned to jon and said "Gee almost thirty years old, and still getting picked on by dumb jocks" shortly after that on our way home, i told jon, you know, i should have yelled at them "I Cast Magic Missle at you" and run. Jon laughed and said if we would have thought of it, we all should have fell into character and had some fun.
*sigh*
Always the cool fun stuff comes to us afterwards.

ZA

 

[WampusCat43]

Ohhhkay... consider this thread completely crushed.

 

[Voadam]

"Evil? Ok that's a start, but is it a chaotic evil, a neutral evil or a lawful evil?"

Or "I'm sorry we don't play with alignment in my campaign."

Or the Diaglo version "In the one true game of D&D (Copyright 1972) there are only three alignments, and evil isn't one of them. You're thinking of that crap that came later. By the way, I'm looking for players . . ."

 

[Teflon Billy]

Some guy: "D&D is Satanic isn't it?"

Me (Derisive stare): "What? are you ing retarded? That went out in the mi-1980's. I'm not going to tell you to join the new millenium, but at least join the 90's, man..."

 

[Sir Elton]

Them. "Isn't evil?"

Me. "Oh, Jeeze."

Them. "Well, isn't it?"

Me. "Nope."

Them. "But Mr. whats-his-name on twenty/twenty . . ."

Me. "Sixty Minutes . . ."

Them. "...sixty minutes said it was pure evil."

Me. "Really. Do you know what goes on in a D&D game?"

Them. "No . . . "

Me. "Want to find out?"