What We Lose When We Eliminate Controversial Content

[Bagpuss]

Yeah and X-cards exist for a reason, particularly this kind of thing. When I first heard of them, I have to admit I did roll my eyes and think "bah kids today" but then I thought about them more, then a bit more, and now I use them and encourage others to, so yeah!

The same, I've started using them at convention games, but never had one invoked. Better to have a safety net and not need it.

 

[Faolyn]

That is bad faith gaming unless the entire table is okay with it.
A fade to black moment/scene swipe is acceptable but no one has to tolerate what 1 other player "insists on" when it makes them uncomfortable. That is a violation of the social contract. A simple disregard for decency and respect. If the offending player dosen't understand that after explaining it to them, well you have a chair to fill.

See, I agree, but there's still plenty of people who think the point of RP is to do whatever you want, regardless of the consequences. And it's also very hard for many people to speak up about what's bothering them, especially against someone who is louder or more forceful--or who is otherwise considered (rightly or wrongly) to be a friend. The Geek Fallacies are a thing for a reason, after all.

 

[Thourne]

The same, I've started using them at convention games, but never had one invoked. Better to have a safety net and not need it.

Hurts nothing if never used but you'll be damn glad it was there when needed. For sure

 

[Thourne]

See, I agree, but there's still plenty of people who think the point of RP is to do whatever you want, regardless of the consequences. And it's also very hard for many people to speak up about what's bothering them, especially against someone who is louder or more forceful--or who is otherwise considered (rightly or wrongly) to be a friend. The Geek Fallacies are a thing for a reason, after all.

Understood, but clarifying the attitudes and expectations of every member at the table ahead of time is work worth doing.
It largely avoids these issues.
When it is all clearly spelled out before hand it isnt hard to go, "Gilbert you're being a jerk, close it or gtfo. It wouldn't hurt if you apologized too."
"Friends don't let friends be jackasses" (to borrow and twist an old psa)


(Gilbert was a randomly chosen name. If you are named Gilbert I intend no harm. No Gilberts were harmed in the typing or editing of this post.)

 

[Umbran]

Phobia means fear or hatred. And in psychology, that means it's a type of anxiety

So, right there, the issue is becoming confused. Properly, phobia is fear, anxiety, or aversion.

Folks have attached hatred to phobia because they assume the hatred comes from fear. That assumption is sometimes accurate, sometimes not.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

See, I agree, but there's still plenty of people who think the point of RP is to do whatever you want, regardless of the consequences.

See I think this is the big difference in perspective here.

Personally I think those people have fallen to the wayside of RPGs over the last 30+ years. Like, 25 years ago, were they around? Absolutely. To the point where eternal vigilance around new players to groups was required to ensure they weren't one.

But when was the last time you saw one in the flesh (including in VTT games and the like as "flesh" ofc)?

Because for me it's over 20 years. People like that are so much easier to detect now, because they almost always out themselves in their social media. And I'm not saying "Oh you must check their social media", because it doesn't get to that point, rather someone will know them, and they'll have seen their social media, and freaks like that love to signal that they're freaks. The last time we acquired a new player, it was easy to see he wasn't going to be a problem from his socials - and we met him beforehand, and he was a cool guy. The sort of crank who thinks it's cool to murder and eat an NPC (as per your example) is absolutely going to be signalling the heck out of that via social media in a variety of ways.

I can see in an AL game where you're forced to play with unknown strangers, that could suddenly be an issue, but I feel like AL games are a separate issue and should have better "safety rails" and other maybe-clunky safeguards than home games.

Interestingly I've absolutely never seen that kind of attitude from a genuinely new-to-RPGs player, or anyone coming in having watched Actual Plays or listened to podcasts or the like.

And it's also very hard for many people to speak up about what's bothering them, especially against someone who is louder or more forceful--or who is otherwise considered (rightly or wrongly) to be a friend.

Definitely!

This is why X-cards or a similar mechanism are so important, and it's often a good idea as the DM/GM/Storyteller to invoke one yourself if you see something you don't like, esp. as it can break the ice on using them. Once there's a formalized mechanism, that really helps.

I will say it's problematic if the DM is going to be hostile to the use of the X-card but that's a DM problem really, and likely someone you shouldn't be playing with.

 

[Thourne]

People like that are so much easier to detect now, because they almost always out themselves in their social media. And I'm not saying "Oh you must check their social media", because it doesn't get to that point, ...

I've honestly found when speaking to long time gamers all you have to do is let them ramble on about their past games (and lets be honest it isnt difficult to get any of us to) and inside of 5 minutes if there is an alarm bell within 10 you'll likely be exercising the escape plan for the exits. They are amazingly good at outting their own issues given any chance to.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

I've honestly found when speaking to long time gamers all you have to do is let them ramble on about their past games (and lets be honest it isnt difficult to get any of us to) and inside of 5 minutes if there is an alarm bell within 10 you'll likely be exercising the escape plan for the exits. They are amazingly good at outting their own issues given any chance to.

That is incredibly true yes. I should have thought of that, because pretty much every creep/freak I ever came across in RPGs did out themselves as soon as they started talking about previous games they'd played. Also a fair number of lapsed gamers from the '80s have ensured I would never invite them to anything (albeit more usually by describing truly horrifying Monty Haul juvenilia and needless PvP than creepy stuff).

 

[Cordwainer Fish]

Well


So, right there, the issue is becoming confused. Properly, phobia is fear, anxiety, or aversion.

Folks have attached hatred to phobia because they assume the hatred comes from fear. That assumption is sometiems accurate, sometimes not.

People also use 'dilapidated' when referring to buildings that aren't made of stone. That is how language works.

 

[Thourne]

People also use 'dilapidated' when referring to buildings that aren't made of stone. That is how language works.

..and that is the one thing to far /flips table..storms off.