Kamard
First Post
The tasty, filling flavour of pork rinds bellows forth from a crack in the earth... soon yellow fumes with pink sparkles and bubbles emanate from the unwholesome entrance into the bowels of the earth. Soon, a foul, clanking music, like a monkey playing the calliope with his tail while belting the Star Spangled Banner on a pipe organ is heard from this rent in the very fabric of an old man's calico coat... I mean the world.
Soon, a huge, sumo wrestler-like man and a young boy climb out of the chasm, each holding a musical instrument- the boy, a tuba, the old man, a piccolo. They begin playing a discordant tune, while white sparks and more smoke (this flavoured like bubble gum) erupts from the earth.
At this point, a great red carpet spills out of the chasm, and a huge gate reading "Tonight Only!" suddenly appears wreathing the chasm.
It is at this point, as all eyes are turned toward this perversion of the universe, that a jackal-headed man, decked in top hat and tails, brandishing an ivory headed cane and bejeweled watch fob, strides vertically up from the rent in the earth, eventually making his angle slightly less sanity-reducing, and comes to earth with a soft *pop* onto the red carpet.
"Greetings, pitiful folk of various types and distinctions! I am Kamard, the Arcanaloth, and HAS IT BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE BEEN AROUND HERE!"
Soon, a huge, sumo wrestler-like man and a young boy climb out of the chasm, each holding a musical instrument- the boy, a tuba, the old man, a piccolo. They begin playing a discordant tune, while white sparks and more smoke (this flavoured like bubble gum) erupts from the earth.
At this point, a great red carpet spills out of the chasm, and a huge gate reading "Tonight Only!" suddenly appears wreathing the chasm.
It is at this point, as all eyes are turned toward this perversion of the universe, that a jackal-headed man, decked in top hat and tails, brandishing an ivory headed cane and bejeweled watch fob, strides vertically up from the rent in the earth, eventually making his angle slightly less sanity-reducing, and comes to earth with a soft *pop* onto the red carpet.
"Greetings, pitiful folk of various types and distinctions! I am Kamard, the Arcanaloth, and HAS IT BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE BEEN AROUND HERE!"
How yas been? ]
