What's the lamest monster you've seen made cool, and how?

[Kafkonia]

"You're having a nightmare. Go back to sleep."

The Last Starfighter, yes?

That particular bit wouldn't be so bad if it were used as the creepy revelation that someone trusted was not what they seemed... but by itself, it does sound dorky.

 

[mythusmage]

Back in the day? Kobolds. A group of the blighters showed up the response was, "Call out the linkboys, it's kobolds!"

Then along came Tucker's Kobolds.

As an old advertising slogan put it, "It's not how long you make it, it's how you make it long."

 

[VirgilCaine]

The Last Starfighter, yes?

That particular bit wouldn't be so bad if it were used as the creepy revelation that someone trusted was not what they seemed... but by itself, it does sound dorky.

Yeah, both the movie and the module don't use the scenario the best it could.

 

[CruelSummerLord]

There's a lot of weird monsters which doesn't make any sense to me at all. However, the most lame monster must be the Ooze!!!!!

I just can't take it seriously... a living magic mass of weird pudding slime which consume everyone who pass by. I would never use such 'creature' because Ooze is the defination of 'lame'.

Well, how about using them in booby traps? Open the door without setting the trap, you get gray ooze dumped on you. The DM could be highly justified in saying that the unlucky PCs are automatically surprised and hit, and their armor and flesh are disintegrated by the ooze's toxic touch. Imagine the havoc that could result from the fact that most spells do not affect it, and most weapons will be destroyed if it hits them. Talk about a great trap for a villain to set on his escape route! If they have green silme dumped on them, it's even worse!

How about using crystal ooze around a treasure kept on an island in the middle of a pond or pool? The only safe way to get in is by flying...which could prove problematic if you're a lich who has cast an anti-magic field in the area. What better place to hide something a villain does not want found, like his phylactery? Even high-level heroes have to hesitate about wading or swimming through a pool infested with ooze that could paralyze you to be drowned or digested, and is almost invulnerable to anything you might throw at it except electricity, and how could that work if you're in an anti-magic field?

How about olive slime creatures? Humans walking through knee- or waist-deep water are obviously going to be at a disadvantage, most notably penalties to attacks and AC, perhaps not getting a dexterity bonus? Now imagine what happens when those humans are walking through a swamp or marsh, and they're ambushed by olive slime creatures. If the creatures grapple the fighters-who are, again, at a disadvantage because of the water-and wrestle them beneath the surface of the water, how much of a chance do they have if they're wearing metal armor? Some spells affect them, but weapons are useless unless they're enchanted with fire or ice. If you're a fighter and you don't have those...

 

[mearls]

When I flip through any book of monsters, no matter how highly praised (sorry, Monsternomicon), I'm struck with the realization that I'm not going to use most of this stuff. Sometimes, it simply doesn't appeal to me (WotC's seeming obsession with bat humanoids, for instance), but other times, well, other times, a lot of the monsters just seem lame.

But when I express this opinion about a given monster here, there's invariably someone who pipes up with HOW COOL that monster is, or at least now that their DM put some particular spin on it.

So, in the interest of rehabilitating the also-rans of the monster world, what are some formerly lame monsters that you've seen made cool, and what was done to add that crucial amount of coolness?

I got a lot of mileage out of needlemen in a 1e Greyhawk game I ran. In the campaign, they were unholy pilgrims who came from across the world to corrupt the Gnarley Forest. They wore thick, flowing robes to disguise their features, and posed as monks and travelers. The first time the party encountered them, the PCs stopped to talk with what looked like a group of holymen. When the PCs were clumped together to talk to the needleman leader, the mob pulled back their robes and blasted the party with hundreds of needles. It was a pretty cool moment, and it creeped out the players.

The key was all in the description. The name needleman is lame, so in the game I never used it. To the players, the needlemen were mutated human/plant hybrids who captured travellers and buried them alive in loam to feed them to various evil demon plants. They were the vanguard of a strange, demonic invasion.

The needles were also spores that allowed the needlemen to track their prey and basically scry on them until all the tiny needles were removed and destroyed. IMC, a needleman maintained a psychic link to a fired needle to a range of 10 miles.

 

[VirgilCaine]

Even high-level heroes have to hesitate about wading or swimming through a pool infested with ooze that could paralyze you to be drowned or digested, and is almost invulnerable to anything you might throw at it except electricity, and how could that work if you're in an anti-magic field?

Alchemical breathing apparatus.
Alchemical "Leyden jars" that deal lightning damage.

 

[diaglo]

reading most published adventures/modules and as use as summoned servants i gotta say Elementals read as very lame.

but i have always made them more. sure they are out of their element on the prime. but back on their own plane they are the masters of their own.... element.

 

[shilsen]

What psychological chord an owlbear hits, I don't wanna know, but .....

Not psychological. Spinal

 

[diaglo]

Not psychological. Spinal

this is spinal tap.

next owlbear i use is so getting the stonehenge treatment.

 

[mythusmage]

It's All in the Presentation

There is a thin, gelid sheet, its greyish contents alternately obscuring and revealing the ground beneath, flowing uphill at you. As it passes over the moss and lichen spotting the stony land you see the primitive flora turn black and wither away