What's the Most Asinine Character Idea/Concept You've Dealt With?

[Luthien Greyspear]

Actually, I just thought of another one. Back in college, we had travelling with our high-level (14th level 2nd Ed.) party a cleric. This cleric was a high priest of a rigidly Lawful god of unswerving rules and regulations. The cleric was also a prophet, and had become possessed of the 'Avatar of Morvon' (the name of his god). So, when trouble was really brewing, and Morvon's enemies needed a smackdown, he called upon the avatar...

...which happened to be an alien being named George that had crash-landed on our planet and was hiding in the poor cleric's body. George was an 8-foot tall semi-simian creature with black and blue patches all over his body that distributed a hallucinogenic fluid. Yes, he was a walking acid lab. He was also CHAOTIC NEUTRAL. So, the character literally switched alignments in every fight. Sometimes, the 'Avatar of Morvon' wouldn't even give up the body...particularly if there was a whorehouse nearby.

 

[Acquana]

Ugh ... Mescaline

Oh man ... Whenever I think of assinine characters the first thing I think of is Mescaline. In a Forgotten Realms campaign one of my friends played Mescaline Longshaft (ha ha! Get it?! It's funny!! Ugh.), a dwarf. Her character concept started out as something that wouldn't work well anyway, so when a fighter (to get a decent attack bonus with thrown weapons) couldn't make a decent amount of potions (what she wanted him to be able to throw) the character fell into a downward spiral of idiocy. She refused to actually read what Forgotten Realms dwarves were supposed to be like, instead playing a Terry Pratchet one and saying it was just because he was crazy he acted that way. He also became enamoured with wearing pink and frills, decorating his pony's hair with whatever loot he found, and getting a pair of pink butterfly wings tatooed on his back. That actually allowed him to fly once/dy or something like that. The further the campaign went, the more people wanted to just scream "Will you shut up?!" at him every time he opened his mouth. He was next to useless in combat, horded treasure, and made diplomacy extremely difficult with his ability to say precisely the wrong thing at the wrong time. It has tainted my view of dwarves since.

 

[StupidSmurf]

A friend of mine was in a tournament at EastCon, back in the late 80's, where there was an NPC who was:

A Nazi lesbian dwarf named Alice Uber Deutschland.

 

[Altamont Ravenard]

On the topic of cloning Jesus, there's L'Évangile de Jimmy from Didier Van Cauwelaert, wherein Jimmy, a 32-year old pool cleaner, is informed that he is the clone of Jesus. They indeed took DNA from the Shroud of Turin.

AR

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

(Pssst. Incidentally, didn't the man who harpooned his pa already die, uh, harpooned to his pa?)

Warrior Poet

Hey, how about a spoiler warning here! JEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kanithardm]

Half-fiend celstial. Or Half-celstial fiend. I couldn't decide what to use. He pitched applying both to a human and removing the skill points and feats. sigh.....

 

[Impeesa]

Odd, I've seen a psychic kitten played before too. In this case, the game was Alternity, and the kitten was a mutant with wings and humanlike mental scores.

Also, since someone mentioned mopey drow outcasts... sometime I'd like to play a good drow, an outcast from his society. He'd be a charismatic Radiant Servant of Pelor. Rather than being angsty, it'd just be a great big "f you!" to everything his people stand for, and it wouldn't concern him too greatly.

--Impeesa--

 

[Lonely Tylenol]

This one is mine: A superhero named Harvey. He was about a 75-point character with lots of social and business skills (I believe I wrote him up in GURPS Supers). The rest of his points (about 450) went into his only superpower: absorption. Any damage done to him was converted into character points, with the restriction that the only thing that it could be used to purchase was the Extra Life advantage. He was unkillable. The supervillains would hold up a bank, and Harvey would walk in and start trying to help people out. He'd get caught and vapourized by something. Then, about 30 seconds later, he'd get up and keep going. He actually wasn't good for anything at all except being The Distraction while the other heroes actually saved the day. Totally retarded, but a lot of fun.

 

[Storyteller01]

I tried a Fighter, Weapons Master of the Rock for second ed. It was actually pretty cool, if not annoying.

 

[lukelightning]

Two words: Succubus paladin.