What's the Most Asinine Character Idea/Concept You've Dealt With?

[Henry]

I've seen a Quixotic Jedi in Star Wars who used paint cans as weapons. I've seen a superhero patterned after Dennis Leary who wore a smoking jacket and flicked high-explosive cigarettes at his foes (his name was chain smoker). I've seen a hero whose power was to turn into a Honda Ninja bike (the hero's name was Crotch Rocket).

But nothing more insane than that.

 

[DonTadow]

I'll go ahead and add mine (and it really was mine):

Pacifist cleric of Pelor. Lived for a total of three rooms in our group's first dungeon in 3e. The kobolds with crossbows didn't want to negotiate.

Rectified the situation immediately thereafter with a barbarian. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat . . .

Warrior Poet

Ahhh so ashamed am I. I'm playing a Pacificist Healer of Pelor in a Shackled City Campaign. however, I'm using the pacifist feats from the exalted deeds. Makes the character a lot more livable.

Actually why couldn't the cleric use subdual damage?

 

[Warrior Poet]

Ahhh so ashamed am I. I'm playing a Pacificist Healer of Pelor in a Shackled City Campaign. however, I'm using the pacifist feats from the exalted deeds. Makes the character a lot more livable.

Actually why couldn't the cleric use subdual damage?

When I originally played the character, it was quite literally a few weeks after 3rd edition hit the shelves, so Book of Exalted Deeds didn't exist. I think it's probably very workable now, and at the time, I had imagined that I could make it work - really take the mobile medic concept to the limit, lots of healing, helping, guarding spells, etc. I think in a particularly large party (6 or more players, say) it could work, too, as such a party might already have a decent amount of fighting power. Back then, we were a party of three, including a sorcerer and a rogue. Pacifist cleric to round out the group? Not so much.

Still, I'm glad it's working for you. The reason I didn't go with subdual damage is probably because at the time, it was a bit like learning D&D all over again (new edition), and it probably never occured to me, or maybe I felt like beating someone into unconsciousness isn't exaclty pacifism, either, as I saw it. Anyway. The barbarian kicked a lot of ass. Until the animated lion statue ate him six levels later.

The cleric I have now, though . . . he's hoss!

Warrior Poet

 

[Drew]

In the old Marvel Super Heroes game, if you weren't playing an established character from the comics (Hulk, Spider-man, etc.) then you could make your own super hero...by rolling on a random chart of powers.

The only character I ever created had the following powers:

1. Underwater breathing
2. Electrical Generation
3. Rotting Touch

Er...um....Zombie Eel! Never mind the disasterous implications of generating wide arcs of electricity underwater.

 

[Thotas]

These characters need to all join together into one adventuring party. There's a "let's write a bad module" thread around here for them to explore ...

 

[Kahuna Burger]

I had someone bring me a concept for an Albino Drow. Their reasoning was that they would be accepted on the surface, and since they were albino they could get the drow benefits, but since they had light skin, they wouldn't be subjected to the penalties for playing a drow on the surface.

The other players were crying they were laughing so hard. It was an obvious attempt to play a drow with benefits but no penalties.

I had to decline.

no penalties? Drow already have light sensitivity. Albinos have light sensitivity and burn like crazy. Albino-drow = completely sun blind, and making heat exahstion type rolls starting after an hour outdoors. If he still wanted it then, why not?

 

[StupidSmurf]

Wow. Just...wow.

My wife and I sat at the computer howling at all of these characters. Some of them you don't know whether to laugh hysterically or weep in abject misery.

Just thought of another one, incidentally....

In my on-going (as in, since the late 80's) 1920's Call of Cthulhu campaign, we've had some interesting characters. But none were as useless as Freight Train Willy.

Ya know, there's this school of thought that exists in the world of genetics: "Just because we CAN do something, doesn't mean we SHOULD." The CofC rules have many character occupations, including "Hobo." You arei invited to draw your own conclusions.

Oh yes. This makes a lot of sense. We have 2 Professors, 1 Student, 1 Antiquarian, 2 Field Archaeologists, 1 Author, and.... a Hobo.

Named Freight Train Willie, this character has Zero useful skills. No weapons. Just asked for handouts and stole pies that were cooling on windowsills. That's it. Tagged along with the party, asking for loose change. And stealing pies.

Fortunately, Freight Train Willie's blood was just as sweet to Shub-Niggurath as the blood of all of the other victims. And his mind snapped just as easily, and he screamed just as much as anyone else did.

Freight Train Willie. Gimme a frickin break!

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Oddest/worst concept I've had tossed at me? Jesus. No seriously. In an Alternity game, a psionic clone of the SoG himself. Don't ask how the player thought he could get DNA.

Oh, that's easy. All scientist has to do is go to Mass and wait for the cakes and wine to be turned into the flesh and blood of christ. Should be a snap to get a dna sample from that.

I was gonna say shroud of turin, but now I have this image of a mad scientist collecting all the wine and wafers and making Franken-jesus....

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Oh yes. This makes a lot of sense. We have 2 Professors, 1 Student, 1 Antiquarian, 2 Field Archaeologists, 1 Author, and.... a Hobo.

Named Freight Train Willie, this character has Zero useful skills. No weapons. Just asked for handouts and stole pies that were cooling on windowsills. That's it. Tagged along with the party, asking for loose change. And stealing pies.

Fortunately, Freight Train Willie's blood was just as sweet to Shub-Niggurath as the blood of all of the other victims. And his mind snapped just as easily, and he screamed just as much as anyone else did.

Freight Train Willie. Gimme a frickin break!

the weird thing about this story is that I find it easy to imagine a very cool and useful Freight Train Willie in a CoC game. Sounds more like bad implementation than a bad concept.

 

[Evilhalfling]

I have a print copy of some posters ideas for a revenge character, after he was abused by the DM and 2 spotlight hogging drow in an underdark game -

fiendish half-pixe half-hippo bard 1/monk1/sorcerer 1/commoner 1/expert 1
called Marjoriee Queen of the drows and talking with a shrill scotish whine.

An animated welsh dresser

an awakened badger named Ernest P Hedgerow with no useful skills but a dry and sardonic sense of humor.

other suggestion followed....