What's the Most Asinine Character Idea/Concept You've Dealt With?

[Storm Raven]

I had someone bring me a concept for an Albino Drow. Their reasoning was that they would be accepted on the surface, and since they were albino they could get the drow benefits, but since they had light skin, they wouldn't be subjected to the penalties for playing a drow on the surface.

The other players were crying they were laughing so hard. It was an obvious attempt to play a drow with benefits but no penalties.

I had to decline.

I would have allowed the character, but pointed out the severe drawbacks of albinism (typically albinos have poor vision and many have other eye-related disorders, many have health problems related to blood and lung disorders, their skin is particularly sensitive to the sun, and so on). And enforced them.

That would have cooled his ardor for an albino drow.

 

[Warrior Poet]

the stripper/hooker kung-fu ninja daredevil.

That rocks!

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

Fjunkjie Fiejlgudd (Pronounced Funky Feelgood).

I may have to stop reading (or drinking coffee). I'm running out of electronics equipment. Some of these are freakin' hi-larious!

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

Two-headed.

Anthropomorphic...

Baleen Whale.

Vampire.

I'm telling you, some of these are absolutely BRILLIANT!

Not to play, obviously, but this thread is conceptual comedy gold! You all made my Friday!

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

Sterilize the gaming group before they spread beyond the lab and infect the other gaming groups of the world with whatever horror of nature they're infected with that could make such a concept possible.

I know, but the insane genius of it is the vampire part and it's . . . wait for it . . .

a baleen whale!

All those poor, doomed krill, damned to an eternity of souless suffering . . .

We have a winner.

You said it!

Seriously, pound for pound, this thread may be the funniest I've encountered on these boards.

Warrior Poet

 

[JoeGKushner]

A half giant psychic warrior

Seriously, that's the oddest conecpt I've gotten from a player since third edition started. I love my players!!

Quoting Cartman from Southpark. "I hate you guys so much..."

No, seriously though, my Tuesday group is pretty well rounded so instead of standing in awe of Crothian's group, I'm playing with a fairly normal group where I've offered them options and they're like, "Man, that's a lot of work. No, I'll stick with the elf wizard."

 

[Warrior Poet]

That reminds me. Anthropomorphic albino sperm whale hulking hurler. He's looking for the man who harpooned his pa.

Demiurge out.

My god, I feel like I'm on drugs.

(Pssst. Incidentally, didn't the man who harpooned his pa already die, uh, harpooned to his pa?)

Warrior Poet

 

[Kid Charlemagne]

The worst I've seen was:

A Ranger. Named Aragorn.

That was the totality of the character concept.

This brought up a classic line (which we still quote in our games, years later): The PC's came upon some folks in need of medical attention - I can't remember the precise circumstances - and a healing check would have probably fixed them up.

PC #1: Hey, Aragorn, can't you help these guys out?

Aragorn: what?

PC #1: You know, heal them. Rangers have Heal as a class skill.

Aragorn: Heal?

PC #1: You know, "Aragorn", "The Hands of a Healer."

Aragorn: I don't heal, I kill.

 

[Warrior Poet]

I'll go ahead and add mine (and it really was mine):

Pacifist cleric of Pelor. Lived for a total of three rooms in our group's first dungeon in 3e. The kobolds with crossbows didn't want to negotiate.

Rectified the situation immediately thereafter with a barbarian. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat . . .

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

I wonder if a lot of these concepts are similar to what happens in film. Bunch of film folks sitting around discussing upcoming picture: "Hey, we have this really cool special effects technology. We should build a movie around it!" instead of actually having some substance of a story and characters and development that happens to be enhanced by some cool special effects.

I love trying new character concepts, but it certainly has been my experience, on many occasions, that what I envisioned almost NEVER turns out to be how it plays.

Warrior Poet