What's the Most Asinine Character Idea/Concept You've Dealt With?

[DarrenGMiller]

I had a player who played a Human Ranger who hates ALL Wizards. He is okay with Sorcerers, but HATES Wizards. His opinion is that the study of dark tomes has opened them to evil influences and corrupted their souls. His first action the night he was introduced? Kill the two Wizards (one PC and one NPC) in the party (one was his former PC). It gets worse...

He has loaded up with archery feats, yet he enters melee combat wielding a falchion at every opportunity. The player (yes, I said player, not character) does the "Falchion Dance" every time he kills with the weapon. He actually stands up and swings his hips/thrusts his pelvis around while crooning "Falchion Dance, Falchion Dance." He is NOT a small guy and he is not a kid. He is about 20 and had been a member of the group for a while when this started. It gets worse...

The Ranger spoke in "ghetto speak" telling NPC's, "This is how I roll." He asked NPC's metagame questions like, "So, what level are you?" Mind you, the player KNEW better. It was not a misundersanding about the game. He was being immature to get laughs out of the other players, but mostly to get revenge on me for the death of a previous character (A Paladin of Heironeous, killed by a Priest of Orcus in a defiled temple to Cuthbert, whom the Paladin mocked at every opportunity... he also mocked Orcus openly at every opportunity - the players opinion was that Heironeous should have kept his faithful 1st level servant from being killed by the priest of such a pansy god as Orcus - he had the opportunity to get him raised, but thought it was "lame" to raise a dead PC). He had Continual Flame cast on his gauntlets to give him some "bling factor." It still gets worse...

Whenever he entered a fight, he drew his falchion and yelled out menu items, such as "Ham and eggs with rye toast and bacon!" "Grilled turkey on swiss with lettuce and tomatoes!" These were some of his battle cries.

He is no longer a member of my group. I actually stopped gaming for several months because of this player.

DM

 

[Warrior Poet]

The loner Drow rebelling against the Drow "man"

Always trying to keep the angst-ridden outcast elf down!

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

I had a player who . . . it gets worse . . . It gets worse . . . It still gets worse . . . .

Warrior Poet

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Odd, I've seen a psychic kitten played before too. In this case, the game was Alternity, and the kitten was a mutant with wings and humanlike mental scores.

psychic cats are big... I had a psychic warrior cat in a one shot I like to run. (of course all the characters in it are a little wacky) the nephew of a high level psion who to save his life mindswitched him into the body of a kitten.

 

[Inconsequenti-AL]

There was a player called Paul, he used to come up with great stuff...

Deadlands - A pacifist priest, who shot people in the legs with an elephant gun. After finding his targets would bleed to death, he went away to redesign his character. Same concept, same leg targeting - but switched his elephant gun for a demon powered chainsaw. Sigh.

DnD - The Doctor - a guy who was obsessed with the innards of monsters. Particularly their dangly bits. The whole group asked him to change due to reasons of sanity.

Swapped to an 'enticing' ogre woman. Hmmm. Yuck!


Worst I've played alongside - some guy made a character for a zombie game I played in. A large naked scotsman called 'Brawny McGroin'... we suspect he may have been using RPGs as an outlet for some insecurities or fetishes.


Vampiric baleen whale is now my backup character for my current game.

 

[Borlon]

He had Continual Flame cast on his gauntlets to give him some "bling factor."

I heard of (another?) PC who did this. The other PCs called him "mittens." Is this the same guy?

 

[sniffles]

I've never had much desire to play anything really unusual, and my friends don't come up with really bizarre characters for actual play - we just joke occasionally about weird things we could come up with. The oddest character I know of in actual play is my friend's halfling cleric/Luckstealer in a Greyhawk campaign. It wasn't part of the concept, but she has a 4 Strength. My friend likes to roll stats once in order and take what he gets, and that's what he got. So basically all she can do in a fight is cast a few spells, steal somebody's luck, and then run away.

We did have a one-shot that featured an animated ship's figurehead - the PC was built as a warforged sorcerer.

 

[Prince Atom]

One of my players wanted a thief in a 2ndEd game I was running ... oh, back in '99. He said he was going to model the thief on Link from the Zelda games. I was thinking, oh, cool, some unarmored sword-swingin' leapin' climbin' action going on here.

So he brings in an elf thief wearing a green tunic and white pants. I looked at the character sheet... the character's name? Link. Uh oh....

First off the character didn't speak. Ever. Just screamed when falling or injured.

Second, the player had a fear of rolling the dice. He just knew he was going to fail, regardless of how high his thief skills were. So he dreamt up methods of getting around rolling, like McGuyvering his way past locks by making impressions of the mechanism with soap.

Third, he kept asking me to give his character a hookshot. I eventually capitulated.

Oy. Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy.

TWK

 

[Pseudonym]

For a short lived M&M game I created The Octogenarian, and 80 year old woman with cosmic power.

For a GURPS Supers game I created The Roach, a homeless man with total immunity to kinetic damage and the ability to eat garbage with no ill effect. His signature move was a groin punch called The Low Blow for Justice!

I once gamed with a guy who made a monk named Wu Tang. Not too outrageous, but his back story was that his master RZA sent him out into the world to fight everyone he met (and I mean everyone) to prove his fighting style was superior.

Of course, we still joke about the giant drow avariel ninja. Why is it that asinine character concepts most often involve ninjas?

 

[Lobo Lurker]

It was hack and slash game meant for learning 3.5 when it came out so it was meant to be a "special" character. Meat Grinder, a "masked pit fighter" with spiked chain that the player modeled after professional wrestling. He would actually spend actions to pose and make his soliloquy about how they "are goin' doowwnnnn!"

That's totally cool. If I had a pc that did that, I would try to find some way of mechanically awarding him... even if it was just extra XP. And I think I'd try to have the villians do it too so that she/he didn't feel stupid or silly.