What's the most critical piece of dungeoneering equipment?

[UngainlyTitan]

Well... Let's get serious. If you, as a real person, decided you wanted to go crawl around in a real dungeon fillled with ancient treasure, deadly traps, ungodly evil creatures eager to claim your soul and pesky vermin swarming to tear the flesh from your bones, how would you gear up for the trip?

If you're like most people I know, the first thing you'll do is grab your whip and pistol, and then you'll put on your fedora hat. "Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and Glory."

Personally I would hire some adventurer types to do the job for me
But if I really had to go, a weapon in whose use I was proficient and plenty of ammo. Appropiate clothing, lighting and food. Companions whose skillsets filled in the blanks in my in relation to any obstacles that one might encounter.
As much intel on the location as can be obtained.

 

[FireLance]

I can't believe it's taken me so long to realize this, but the most critical piece of dungeoneering equipment is gold.

As thousands of 1st-level characters will tell you since the dawn of D&D, with enough gold, you can buy rope, torches, lanterns, oil, 10' poles, iron rations, waterskins, wineskins, backpacks, sacks, weapons, armor, mules, saddlebags, parchment, chalk, livestock, grappling hooks, iron spikes, hammers, marbles, etc. You can use it to hire hirelings, consult sages, and bribe guards. After the adventure, you can even use it for R&R on A&W (no, not the burger chain).

 

[TarionzCousin]

Hardly. They don't keep an edge worth a damn, sharpening them turns your whetstone into a wet stone, and you need one just to pry another one out of its bony shell. There's got to be something better.

Like a mule.

You go ahead and sharpen your mind on your mule. I'll sharpen mine on this 10' pole--with accompanying stripper.

Hey, that makes me think of something else that's better than a mule!

 

[El Mahdi]

deleted

 

[Jdvn1]

Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the answer to every thread ever made.

 

[Grimstaff]

The Collapsible 10' Pole!

Collapsible Pole (10gp)
The collapsible pole is a 10’ pole made of alternating ironwood and hollow brass that collapses down to a length of only three feet. Perfect for the adventurer on the go, the collapsible 10’ pole won’t bog you down in those cramped corridors and crawlspaces.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the answer to every thread ever made.

As noted above, the Swiss Army Mule comes equipped with Chuck Norris.

 

[Jdvn1]

The other parts of the SAM aren't necessary, though. Chuck Norris would roundhouse them into oblivion anyways.

 

[weem]

TarionzCousin: said,

Hey, weem! This looks like a Photoshop challenge for you!

So, Dannyalcatraz: mentioned a The Swiss Army Donkeyhorse with fold-out 10' Pole... I made it and added some other essentials...


Lanefan: - Thieves' picks and tools
TarionzCousin: - 10' Pole
Stormonu: - Backpack
Lancelot: - Light source (I used a lantern)
Ahnehnois: - Torch
Chainsaw: - A player with a brain!
Steel_Wind: - Rope
FireLance: - Dynamite, Gold
Mark: - A map
Jdvn1: - A towel, Chuck Norris
Silverblade The Ench: - Toilet paper
Herschel: - Shoes (I added boots)
Piratecat: - Frankly, a mule can do everything these other tools can do and more. (I added 3 of them!!!)
coyote6: - Duct tape.
CleverNickName: - Bottle of Wine, Rations
howandwhy99: - A sword. Or a weapon of some kind. (see "knife" below)
El Mahdi: - Knife



Here it is....

Click here for the larger version!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

They're not necessary, but they at least give the foe fair warning.

"See that mule? That's no ordinary mule-that man's got a SAM...we should leave before we die."