die_kluge said:
But if anyone has a word to describe someone who is uncomfortable around drag queens, or transvestites, then I'll gladly go back and edit my post to use that word instead. It does seem appropriate here, since that's what is at the heart, IMHO, of this issue - guys appearing to be women. No, it has nothing to do with being gay. I just need a new word, that's all.
I'll throw a fly in the ointment when it comes to categorizing my views: I have zero issues with drag queens or transvestites. Granted, I haven't drank beer with too many of them. I did spend a couple days in Thailand with a few...but I saw much, much stranger things during that eye-opening port visit.
So...I'm less comfortable with guys playing females in roleplaying games than I am with guys playing females in real life.
Do I understand it? Nope. Don't even pretend to.
I guess the bottom line is I feel it detracts from my gaming experience and, the best I can tell, the gaming experiences of those other players in my campaign. My players are also my friends. We're a Beer & Pretzels type group. Lots of beer, lots of pretzels. We love combat and rolling dice. Do I think our 'roleplaying' is any less refined than some of the other groups out there? I don't think so. I don't know. I've certainly seen plenty of other groups play, at cons or as a brief NPC stand-in, and I didn't see anything that made me think our style of gaming was any less enjoyable, or interesting, or profound.
I think someone else said it best in this very thread. The DM sets the tone of his campaign, right at the outset. He should be up front and open with the things he'll permit (alignments, races, whatever). If the players have a problem, they discuss and compromise and work it out. Like adults. If a solution can't be found, then either: a) the player finds another group, or b) the DM finds himself with no players and realizes he'd better change his ways if he wants to roll dice. I think this is fair to all parties.
Not that I'd expect die_kluge to want to be in my campaign, but if he came to me as a prospective player (just as Bob did), and if he asked to play a female PC (just as Bob did), I'd ask him to reconsider (just as I did). If asked for my motives (a fair question), I'd simply say I'd prefer him to play a male character, as I'm comfortable with that convention and feel I can GM sessions better when I'm comfortable. If that wasn't good enough for die_kluge, then he could find somewhere else to game, or he could explain to me why it's important to him to play a female character.
We'll never know if I would have relented with Bob, because Bob didn't press the issue.
Please remember throughout all this I never handed down an ultimatum that said "Thou shalt play thine gender." I simply let Bob know, as his DM and as his friend, that I would prefer if he played a male character. If his concept worked fine irrespective of his character's sex, then I fail to see a huge problem in this arrangement. Indeed, it was dropped, and only came up again because...well, because I posted something here. That was many, many emails ago.
I am much wiser now.
And, oddly enough, I'm now gay.
Fat D
