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When do you boot a player
- Thread starter DonTadow
- Start date
Traveon Wyvernspur
First Post
With this kind of person I would have skipped the Correct and Deflect and hit the ABORT button instantly.
But as some say, I'm mean.
That's mean!
Zelda Themelin
First Post
I suggest kicking now, unless you and lady both think to give him last change. There must be something good about him, since have been willing to look him that long.
Helping himself to host's food is clear warning sign. Unless it's been really normal at his friend circles, but in healthy cases it would mean he should also bring some snacks to gaming session for others.
His behavior seem very selfish too. And he became passive-aggressive when forced to give up his character. To get some attention some other way than being awesome, we went for wicked.
Playstyle differense (in this case min-maxing) seems to eat into him too badly. It might be you both would be happier to pass this one. But if he doesn't have other change for gamiing, he might be trying to adopt. Still it looks like he is not enjoying it.
Helping himself to host's food is clear warning sign. Unless it's been really normal at his friend circles, but in healthy cases it would mean he should also bring some snacks to gaming session for others.
His behavior seem very selfish too. And he became passive-aggressive when forced to give up his character. To get some attention some other way than being awesome, we went for wicked.
Playstyle differense (in this case min-maxing) seems to eat into him too badly. It might be you both would be happier to pass this one. But if he doesn't have other change for gamiing, he might be trying to adopt. Still it looks like he is not enjoying it.
I agree with Zelda and would like to add that being a host, DM, or player instills no sort of responsibility that you become a social worker.
Ideally the mature approach when joining a new group would be to spend some time learning what the mores and social agreements are in place and not upsetting them. For new people who want to jump into and dominate an existing group, I have but one response.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHSPf6x1Fdo]No Ticket! - YouTube[/ame]
Ideally the mature approach when joining a new group would be to spend some time learning what the mores and social agreements are in place and not upsetting them. For new people who want to jump into and dominate an existing group, I have but one response.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHSPf6x1Fdo]No Ticket! - YouTube[/ame]
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Vegepygmy
First Post
I'm baffled by people who seem to expect a different standard of behavior within their gaming group than they do in other social situations. If I wouldn't invite the guy to dinner, a party, or to go see a movie because of how he acts, I wouldn't invite him to game with me, either.
Based on DonTadow's description of this guy's gaming behavior, I wouldn't invite him to any other social event...so why would you even hesitate to boot him from the game?
Based on DonTadow's description of this guy's gaming behavior, I wouldn't invite him to any other social event...so why would you even hesitate to boot him from the game?
Rogue Agent
First Post
If there's one player who is reducing the enjoyment of the other players, then:
(1) Talk to them about it.
(2) If that doesn't fix the problem, kick them out.
The only reason to give anyone more rope than that is extraneous social factors: You'll risk a friendship which you otherwise don't want to lose. They're the boyfriend of another player who will also walk. Et cetera.
But if absolutely nobody at the table is enjoying this guy's presence, then it's time for the boot. Life's too short.
(Also: If there's any violence or threat of violence, skip Step 1. Life is way too short.)
Radiomedia2
First Post
Well, in my case, there are just two chances.
Still make the same mistake or break the rule won't be forgive after that!
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I only booted a player once. It was because a committee of other players came to me and said "Either she goes or we do". The other players wanter her gone because the character was massively (and selfishly) not pulling her weight and the player's conversation drove the other players to distraction.
There was another player I was thinking of booting because his constant carping and childish behavior (temper tantrums when he didn't get his way) was sucking the fun out of the game for me, but he left of his own accord before I made up my mind to boot him.
There was another player I was thinking of booting because his constant carping and childish behavior (temper tantrums when he didn't get his way) was sucking the fun out of the game for me, but he left of his own accord before I made up my mind to boot him.
Olaf the Stout
Hero
Based on the info you provided, I'd boot him now.
1. He is making your wife unhappy (and her unhappiness seems quite justified)
2. He was given a talking to and you spent several hours helping him out. The very next session his behaviour has improved a little, but still doesn't sound particularly acceptable. I would expect the next session after being talked to to have the biggest improvement. So I can only see him gradually regressing back to his previous behaviour from here.
3. His play style doesn't seem to fit the rest of your group. Heavy powergamer and doesn't like when his character isn't the best at absolutely everything.
4. Poor social skills. I still ask my best friend of 13 years if I can have a drink when I'm at his house. I don't think he would mind if I just grabbed one, but it is just polite to ask. I certainly would not even ask if I could drink the juice out of someone's fridge when I had only met them 4 times total.
I have only ever boot 1 player from my group, and even then it was a passive-agressive boot*. He was my friend and it wasn't so much to do with being rude to others or anything like that. It was more due to the fact that he was basically the "crazy cat-piss man of our group".
He was about 27 at the time, had never had a job, didn't have a car licence, lived in a unit his parents owned and had pretty poor social skills. Apart from our fortnightly gaming session, I think he was basically a hermit, other than leaving the house to buy food.
The worst part though was his hygiene. Being the kind friend that I was, I stupidly said to him that, since he didn't have a car, he could stay at my house when we gamed and just catch the train with me in the morning. Bad decision.
He smelt so much that I would have to put the AC on and wind the window down in the car for the 4 minute drive from the train station to my house. You can only imagine what that was like the next morning after sleeping in your clothes and not showering.
After each game my wife would comment that everywhere around the table would be clean, except for a ring of crud where my friend sat. A character sheet I game him one week came back 2 weeks later looking like it had been crumpled up and left in the bin during that whole time.
Eventually I decided that enough was enough. He wasn't adding anything to the game, he was stinking up my house and car and the wife wasn't pleased with the mess he made just by existing! So I passively-agressively got rid of him*.
Looking back now, although I could have been more direct about it, it wouldn't have changed his hobo ways. At no point have I ever regretted my choice to boot him and I'm only sorry I didn't do it sooner. A bit sad to say that about a friend, but tis the truth.
Olaf the Stout
*I told him we were having a break due to the upcoming birth of my first child. In reality we replaced him straight away with another player and kept playing for several more months. A baby break did happen at that point but I never had any intention of inviting him back into the group.
1. He is making your wife unhappy (and her unhappiness seems quite justified)
2. He was given a talking to and you spent several hours helping him out. The very next session his behaviour has improved a little, but still doesn't sound particularly acceptable. I would expect the next session after being talked to to have the biggest improvement. So I can only see him gradually regressing back to his previous behaviour from here.
3. His play style doesn't seem to fit the rest of your group. Heavy powergamer and doesn't like when his character isn't the best at absolutely everything.
4. Poor social skills. I still ask my best friend of 13 years if I can have a drink when I'm at his house. I don't think he would mind if I just grabbed one, but it is just polite to ask. I certainly would not even ask if I could drink the juice out of someone's fridge when I had only met them 4 times total.
I have only ever boot 1 player from my group, and even then it was a passive-agressive boot*. He was my friend and it wasn't so much to do with being rude to others or anything like that. It was more due to the fact that he was basically the "crazy cat-piss man of our group".
He was about 27 at the time, had never had a job, didn't have a car licence, lived in a unit his parents owned and had pretty poor social skills. Apart from our fortnightly gaming session, I think he was basically a hermit, other than leaving the house to buy food.
The worst part though was his hygiene. Being the kind friend that I was, I stupidly said to him that, since he didn't have a car, he could stay at my house when we gamed and just catch the train with me in the morning. Bad decision.
He smelt so much that I would have to put the AC on and wind the window down in the car for the 4 minute drive from the train station to my house. You can only imagine what that was like the next morning after sleeping in your clothes and not showering.
After each game my wife would comment that everywhere around the table would be clean, except for a ring of crud where my friend sat. A character sheet I game him one week came back 2 weeks later looking like it had been crumpled up and left in the bin during that whole time.
Eventually I decided that enough was enough. He wasn't adding anything to the game, he was stinking up my house and car and the wife wasn't pleased with the mess he made just by existing! So I passively-agressively got rid of him*.
Looking back now, although I could have been more direct about it, it wouldn't have changed his hobo ways. At no point have I ever regretted my choice to boot him and I'm only sorry I didn't do it sooner. A bit sad to say that about a friend, but tis the truth.
Olaf the Stout
*I told him we were having a break due to the upcoming birth of my first child. In reality we replaced him straight away with another player and kept playing for several more months. A baby break did happen at that point but I never had any intention of inviting him back into the group.
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