log in or register to remove this ad

 

When do you boot a player

DonTadow

First Post
I have a problem player, not fun problem like I"ve had before, but seriously bothering the other players problem. I've talked to him about the behaviors. I experienced the same thing at this game. So I"m wondering, what behaviors warrant booting from a game. I didnt want to retail my story, but I'd like to hear other stories so I can figure out if i'm over reacting or should i give him another chance.
 

log in or register to remove this ad

KarinsDad

First Post
Without knowing what he did (or does), how can anyone comment on whether you should give him another chance?


Personally, I would boot a player if other players come to me to complain about that player and after I give him or her a chance to modify the behavior, other players are still complaining.
 

Mark CMG

Creative Mountain Games
If all or most of the other players are uncomfortable gaming with one particular player, it is up to the person running and/or hosting the game to bring those concerns up with the offending player. If the offending player refuses to adjust their behavior and continues to offend the majority of the players, then there is little choice but to let them know that the matter is out of the hands of the person running/hosting the game and that particular player is no longer welcome. It's really a non-decision, or rather a decision made by the offending player.
 

howandwhy99

Adventurer
When do we boot a player?

The same reason we boot a DM.

We don't trust them anymore.

EDIT: Okay, I can think of other reasons where we *might* trust someone, yet still want them gone. But then it's not booting.
 

Dice4Hire

First Post
To me it is a choice between one player/DM or the whole game. If the player/DM is destroying the game, then they have to go so the game survives.

And yes, I have been the player who needs to go in a couple online games.
 

Zelda Themelin

First Post
i have booted myself many times. Even from friend's games. If they are playing some game, that I really don't have good time with why bother.

Not all people know when to leave though. One player who got kicked multiple time was enjoying being griefer. He made characters to act like a-hole. He also had tendercy for-in-party conflict type of roleplaying especially when pvp was not allowed. And thus he would be as annoying as he liked without fear of retribution. He also cheated. And mis-read rules when he was in his munchin-phase.

We kicked one for refusing to constantly make characters suitable for game-theme. He on one of those annoying I want to roleplay half-blind-peasant in heroic adventure game and then complain that other people's characters are too good. Good guy for games like call of cthulhu though.

Haresment issues. Player who always was griefing other players. In real life, out of character as well as in game. Goodbye.

Other constant mood-ruining for whatever reason. If someone apperantly wants to make gaming situation as un-fun for other people as possible, no matter what his motivation is, even if he is one of those people who show up and play with their phone whole gamesession and generally act bored. So it would also include booting people who show up not to game. There are other situations to hang with friends, no need to invite these strays to gaming. They just disturb other players. Also we have temporaly banned people from gaming since they insisted bringing their non-playing girlfriends (and in few cases boy-friends) to hang there. In case they were those attention-hungry ones, constantly intruption, if not whole game, player they are hitched with. Once romance ended/become less intese we invited them back.

In those cases people had sense to leave without serious complain. It apprently was disturbing them too.
 

S'mon

Legend
I have a problem player, not fun problem like I"ve had before, but seriously bothering the other players problem. I've talked to him about the behaviors. I experienced the same thing at this game. So I"m wondering, what behaviors warrant booting from a game. I didnt want to retail my story, but I'd like to hear other stories so I can figure out if i'm over reacting or should i give him another chance.

My normal approach would be to boot the bad player. Take your other players' feelings into account too though - as DM you're in charge, but you don't want to upset your good players if at all possible. You also don't want to be manipulated by one player into booting another player against your better judgement. But if no one likes him then your choice is clear.
 

Lwaxy

Cute but dangerous
Only time I had to was when someone constantly took the sportlight, was obnoxiously loud, interrupted the other players and myself constantly, ate most of the food and insisted on rules lawyering when such is not the way we play games.

I later found out he had been kicked from a lot of other games in our area, too.
 

DonTadow

First Post
Without knowing what he did (or does), how can anyone comment on whether you should give him another chance?


Personally, I would boot a player if other players come to me to complain about that player and after I give him or her a chance to modify the behavior, other players are still complaining.
I understand. I decided not to post it because, I am technically biased. So by understanding the behaviors and situations that other DMs boot for, I can gather an opinion if it warrents it.

This is the behavior in a nutshell
"Only time I had to was when someone constantly took the sportlight, was obnoxiously loud, interrupted the other players and myself constantly, ate most of the food and insisted on rules lawyering when such is not the way we play games.

I later found out he had been kicked from a lot of other games in our area, too."
The player has built 2 characters, both min maxed to superman levels and made combat uninteresting for the other players. He also berates players/characters in game. He pissed the lady of the house off when he went in the refrigeration and pured himself our orange juice (we keep pop on the table). This is only his 4th game. We had a new player join us, and he appeared "jealous" of his character (he was playing a rogue). When i had to retire his summoner synthesis (AC 26, 3 +10 attacks, several +15 skills, 4th level) he built an equally game breaking rogue character.

He's fairly abrasive to the other players. I had a chat with him this week, after I got a unanimous complaint from all players (2 of the 3 players are relatives and the 2 relatives complained before but I didnt want to seem biased) I chatted with him. He's a kindergarten teacher, i figured maybe he's just not understanding us adults. He apologized, realized he can be harsh at times, told me he'd pull back. I helped him all week, some 12 manhours making a balanced new character. He was fairly pouty this game, less abrasive, but still spoke harshly to people and hated that he could no longer be great at every facet of teh game. (he got real upset with me because I told him his character fell asleep while attempting to help the bard with research (he has an 8 intelligence now, and rolled poorly. My wife described his character as "acting out". He attempted to do uncharacteristic things in game, stealing treasures, torturing people. When asked why, he said he's doing it for the king.

I'm not sure if i should give him another week, or just boot him. I don't like when my wife is pissed off. And his pouty gameplay has made her very irritated.
 



SkredlitheOgre

First Post
Granted, I'm no psychologist, but being a kindergarten teacher may have something to do with his behavior. I studied and got my degree in Elementary Education and given that you have to be in charge of groups of small children who need your attention but that you have to hold back on a lot of the more outgoing and aggressive behaviors that you see in 'ordinary' people, this may just be his way of cutting loose and releasing that stress. Unfortunately, the way he does it doesn't work with your game.
 


When to boot:

1. Violence (or serious threats of) - out immediately with zero chance of returning

2. Crude, obnoxious, unpleasant behavior (above and beyond our normal level of crudity) - several warnings, but you can't be a constant :):):):):):):) - eventually you're gone

3. Playstyle mismatch - hey, dude, this is how everyone else has fun, can you adjust? No. Are you making the game unfun for others? Yes. Hey, we really need you to adjust or you're gonna have to go, ok? No. Alright. Have a good one. We'll invite you back when we change game styles or you do.
 

the Jester

Legend
I would give him one last chance, letting him know explicitly that it is the last chance, that he's spoiling or reducing the fun for others at the table and that you need to see real change the next game.

Bear in mind that change isn't instant. If he's improving his behavior significantly each time AND he brings a lot of fun to the table, it might be worth giving him more time. OTOH if he's not adding anything to the group and is just detracting from the fun, it may not be worth letting him crap on a couple more sessions to prove the point.
 

kitsune9

First Post
Sounds like you already gave him his chance and he blew it.

We're adults here. People should act and understand what that means. It means figuring out that when you're in the company of others that you want to enjoy yourself, but not at their expense.

If I was DM for this player, they get an email from me stating that it's no longer fun to have them around and goodbye.

I personally have a zero tolerance for players who like to roleplay Chaotic Jerk characters. I offer a social contract which specifically states what will be their last session if they engage in certain behaviors. I don't do sit-downs, I don't have pep-talks to fly straight. Either the player understands what it means to play nice or go home.
 

One piece of advice: "Happy wife, happy life." If your wife is unhappy with him and you've already given him a second chance, it's time to give him da boot and keep your wife and family happy in your game.

Find another player or relative to take over his spot and just let him know it isn't going to work out with your group and that you aren't power gamers like he is and that he'd probably enjoy playing with others who do that style of game.
 

frankthedm

First Post
Boot the player now. Call him up and tell him to no longer show up. Explain he is unwelcome on your property. If he claims to have left anything at your place, ask for his address so you can mail the items back to him.
 

Janx

Hero
Granted, I'm no psychologist, but being a kindergarten teacher may have something to do with his behavior. I studied and got my degree in Elementary Education and given that you have to be in charge of groups of small children who need your attention but that you have to hold back on a lot of the more outgoing and aggressive behaviors that you see in 'ordinary' people, this may just be his way of cutting loose and releasing that stress. Unfortunately, the way he does it doesn't work with your game.

When my wife was studying to be a teacher, one of the quotes she was told from a special ed teacher was "don't spend too many years working in special ed, lest you become special, too."

Working around a certain mindset level affects you. Heck, in many ways, this guy's behavior could be described as acting like a kindergartner.

I have s simple mantra for management of problem people:
Correct, Deflect, Eject.

Try to corect the problem
If that doesn't work, try to deflect that person from areas that challenge them
If that doesn't work, eject the person from the group, as they are unworkable.

The OP has verified that the group agrees this is a problem (and not a solo-manipulation). The OP tried to correct it. The OP has no real reason to keep the guy around, especially if the guy is making his wife mad.

Do not bring people over that your dog or wife does not like. The former is a prretty good judge of people, and the latter is just common sense. Do not let a stranger instigate domestic trouble.
 


Advertisement2

Advertisement4

Top