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When will my group ever accept me?

Raven Wintervale said:
A fair question. I guess it's that most of my friends wouldn't understand it, somemight even cut ties with me.

In my opinion, if they would cut ties with you over an activity for which the requisite materials can be purchased in a toy store, they're not really very good friends.

Example: "I don't tell my friends I like <THING> because they would dump me."

THING: A) Gaming. B) Football. C) Horses. D) Skateboarding. E) Watching old TV shows on DVD.

If they would dump you because they don't understand what you're doing, that's the definition of a shallow relationship, not a true friendship.
 

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-The newest member of any group will always be considered the noob until someone else joins and the title is passed down. As long as the title is used as an informal joke among group members and not maliciously, it may just be something you have to bear with until someone else joins the group.
-Role players and other gamers, in the U.S. at least, have traditionally been stigmatized by others as 'nerdy' or 'satanic'. These ascribed stereotypes often form stronger bonds among gamers in an attempt to rebuff negative attention. Your fellow gamers probably assume that by not telling your boyfriend about your hobby, you are, at least in some small part, ashamed of your participation in this hobby. They probably feel that you don't really enjoy it or want to be there with them. It would be like having a friend that you didn't want to be seen with in public.
-I'd suggest talking with the group and expressing your fears to them directly. Ask them for advice in dealing with any negative attention that you might receive. They might offer helpful advice. Additionally, it should bring you closer to the group.
-I'd also give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. He could be okay with it. After all, if you're spending a lot of your free time gaming with an all girl group, you're not out seeing other guys. Finally, if anyone doesn't want to hang around with you just because you like this particular hobby, they aren't, at least in my opinion, worth the effort of mainaining any sort of relationship/friendship.
 

I agree with was; the fact that you don't want to tell your boyfriend may make some of them feel like you don't want it to me known that you associate with the likes of them. Based on what you've written here, I'm sure that's not the case, but I could see feeling like that if I were in their shoes.

Good luck!
 



Rel said:
You're a bad man, Joshua Dyal. Perhaps as bad as me.
Yeah, but I can't quite live up to your level of infamy. Although I'll be meeting reveal at the upcoming Chicago gameday, I don't think I can stoop to making him hold my buttocks.
 



Joshua Dyal said:
Hmmmm.... words of wisdom.

Then again, maybe we're both equally bad for cluttering up an advice thread with our flirting. :p

Joshua Dyal is flirting with reveal?!! :eek:


More seriously, Raven, I have to agree with Blue Kryptonite's assessment that friends who would drop you for gaming are not true friends. You don't have to tell other people what you do with your free time, but you shouldn't be ashamed or afraid to tell them if you want to. Genuine friends will respect you for who you are.
 


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