It seems to me the dfifference is not in the games but of people feeling they can be successful or not. As a DM, and this is of any game I run not just d20, I encourage people to try things. So what if the dice say you only have a 10% chance to be successful. THe fun of over the top things is not in being successful all the time, its in trying them and having fun with what ever happens. So, its the players and DMs who really set this with the tone and mood of the game more then the actually game.
Many players don't like this though. That requires a lot of trust in the storyteller and trust has to be earned. Also, people that play exalted know the rules pretty well from what I've seen and read over on RPGNet. But with all things it doesn't matter what happens at my table or other tables, if it works for you then that is great. I know as in my d20 game a lot of things I do don't work for other people.
And don't get me wrong, I like exalted. I wouldn't have a dozen of the books or so if I didn't. All games not just exalted and d20 are built with certain assumptions and its up for the people playing to find the game that fits them.