I hope there is _some_ qualification to this. I'd not be very happy (as player or DM) if I was in a game where the DM said "The orc hits you for 5 damage," and the player said, "I don't think so."
I don't think this is what you're talking about, but it's always good to know.
Up until this last bit, I can agree with you almost 100%.
Honestly, I'd have just the opposite reaction. If the DM doesn't have the decency to incorporate my character in a meaningful way in his campaign world, why should I bother. It's just a beer and pretzels game. On the other hand, if my character has the chance to become a real, meaningful figure in the game world then I'm going to put a lot more effort into it.
Basically, if the DM is willing to step up to the task, so am I. If he isn't, then neither am I. I refuse to roll a boulder up hill.
If you mean that the DM has stated that the character will become entirely his and you lose all control over it, then I can definitely see your point. See my previous post about perpetual PCdom.
It's all about incentive. The player needs to feel like he is doing something more than contributing to the DM's pet project. The DM needs the incentive to make his world available as a living, growing entity.