D&D 5E Why are wizard's so weak? (A parody)

[Tales and Chronicles]

They should just get rid of the Wizard. Replace it with the Warlock.

Also replace the Sorcerer with Warlock.

Heck, throw out Cleric and Druid and make them Warlock subclasses: no one wants to cast healing anyway.

Bard, too. Call it "Muse Patron".

Paladin? Warlock subclass!

Ranger is cool: they can stay as-is.

That would be my ideal solution too!

Muse patron, X-Y-Z Domain patron, the Great Oak patron, the Archdruid patron, the Dragon patron, the Arcane Order patron etc

You decide whether you are a student, a servant, a cultist, or born with a link to said patron.