It seems like players (myself now included) want worlds where you can play any race/any class and they all get along in some kind of colorful, happy world where we can just "push the win button."
That doesn't sound quite right. Players do like options (race/class) and for their PCs to be powerful, but not to be unchallenged ('push the win button'). Personally I don't like 'they all get along', I prefer a plausible level of racial animosity.
I think re grim & gritty, GMs can use it as an excuse to be mean to, restrict, and railroad the players. I'm not a big fan of grim & gritty as player or GM.