gothwalk said:
You might like to take a look at http://www.urbantribes.net/ - it's a concept that ties into this, and I think many gamers are members of tribes in this context.
His is a fascinating article, and in fact, if he expanded his definition of the "urban tribe" a bit, it might fit well with the D&D phenomenon. The fact is, I myself feel much more at home with an RPG player, than I do a non-gamer. It's a common reference point that is shared that tends to make it easier to "open up" to. It's not always the case - I have met some gamers whose personal habits or preferences I could not abide by, or who just struck me as "off" - but it holds for me more often than not.
I have also found that a gaming group often has a marriage of "marrieds" and "non-marrieds" in it - and it only rarely affects the ability to still be a member of that group. If a person's spouse doesn't accept that their S.O. is a gamer, it often leads to broken homes, as well as broken gaming groupsm which has more to do with knowing your spouse than being part of an "unhealthy" group.
As one of my history professors put it, the "lodge" concept grew with blue-collar workers, specifically after World War II. In the 50's this concept blossomed tremendously - Everyone who ever watched an episode of
The Honeymooners or
The Flintstones knows what a "lodge" is. My father was a member of The Loyal Order of Moose for almost 30 years until his death - then again, so was a third of the town, and you never saw such a turnout for a "small-scale" funeral.
I never once wanted to join - it was largely a bunch of 40-somethings to 70-somethings with whom I had nothing in common, and apparently most everyone else my age felt the same - Nobody over age 12 ever showed up on a "family" day.
My friends were all D&D players - or computer gamers, and many of those played RPG's at least once, thanks to me. As I grew older, I found a group of RPG players that I became friends with, and through them I met 3/4ths of the people I ever gamed with on a regular basis. Now, most of the gamers I game with I met from previous jobs, but I still have contact with most of those friends from previous days. The bonds there are stronger than those with all of my own family.