Why must a loving soul be so alone...

[Torm]

I talk with this new friend of mine via IM that I'd met at Stellarcon back in March.

Right - but fortunately, that really isn't the same. You've MET.

The problem we had with Roxanne was that after talking online (and, rarely, on the phone) for months, we thought things were perfect. She came to stay with us for a week, and despite everything else, we discovered that personal chemistry put she and I at each others' throats more or less constantly when we were physically in the same room. I'm still not sure why. Bad situation. It is good that you have MET.

 

[Hijinks]

I've known a couple of people who have had relationships that started on the 'net that worked out, but considered how many people I know who have tried, it still is a very poor success rate.

As compared to what, people who've met in bars? People who've met in church? I've had long-term relationships with two men that I met on Match.com and they were both satisfying relationships - until they ended, that is. But any relationship that isn't met to be ends eventually. These were no different than those I had with men I met in person somewhere.

 

[Torm]

As compared to what, people who've met in bars?

As you may have gotten from my last post, I think an upfront knowledge of personal chemistry is very helpful. That is an advantage pretty much everything else you mentioned has over meeting on the 'net.

 

[FreeXenon]

I have not read the whole thread but there is a lot of good information here.

I think one of the most important things is to center your life. Try to become happy with yourself and making progress towards the person you want to be. Take a good look at what has been working and what has not in your life and then go from there. This may require restructuring your life or changing your priorities. Make a plan for becoming happy with yourself physically, professionally, and personally and the rest will follow.

I will second, or third, whatever the Europeans. I have quite a few European (Czech Rep, Russia, Belarus, Germany, Lithuania, Bulgaria) friends and they alll rock. The most beautiful women I have ever seen (as an average representative for their country) is the Czech Rep, Prague specifically. Europeans (atleast the ones that I have met) have a different outlook on life. They seem more grounded and real, intelligent and family driven, and less prone to judge based on looks. I, for one, am happy about that, or I would be screwed. I [MWM, Age 31] just married (2 weeks ago) a Belarussian and she rocks. While this, specifically, may not be practical (for the area you are from), if there are Europeans in your area talk to them - they're cool!

Being happy with your life and yourself will lead to 2 things success and confidence... both of which are attractive traits. And as other's have said: How can you make someone else happy if you are not happy with yourself.

A woman isn't going to complete you, she will compliment you. You need to be complete and happy with yourself, before you can give yourself, and receive in return, to/from a woman successfully.

I'll Third that..

 

[KenM]

Then you get women that give mixed signals, like my last relationship with the pot addict.
" Yes, I kissed you on the mouth, but I did not mean it that way." one thing she said to me excatly. Or when she stayed overnight, many times, laying right against me in only one of my tshirts and her panties, but I could not do anything because we were just friends and she did not want to lead me on. Yup, I love it when women are totally straghtforward like this.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Right - but fortunately, that really isn't the same. You've MET.

The problem we had with Roxanne was that after talking online (and, rarely, on the phone) for months, we thought things were perfect. She came to stay with us for a week, and despite everything else, we discovered that personal chemistry put she and I at each others' throats more or less constantly when we were physically in the same room. I'm still not sure why. Bad situation. It is good that you have MET.

Sorry! Had you come to Stellarcon, I coulda met you as well..... And this wasn't expected, no siree.... I guess stranger things can happen....


Are you sure this Roxanne wasn't Bane in disguise? Sure sounds like it.

 

[reveal]

Are you sure this Roxanne wasn't Bane in disguise?

"You're Bane in disguise" - Wasn't that an Elvis song?

 

[Darth K'Trava]

As you may have gotten from my last post, I think an upfront knowledge of personal chemistry is very helpful. That is an advantage pretty much everything else you mentioned has over meeting on the 'net.

Having a knowledge of personal chemistry does help. That and also having something in common with the person so you'd have SOMETHING to talk about over dinner. I like having people to talk to. Mostly it seems to be "geek-related" but the friend I have, I can talk a bit of history and get alot more detail of the same history in return; something I don't get much of elsewhere.... That, and also mutual attraction as well. It helps that you're attracted to the person and they to you as well. And that doesn't matter about one's looks either. Mostly it's attitude, personality and how you present yourself to others.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Then you get women that give mixed signals, like my last relationship with the pot addict.
" Yes, I kissed you on the mouth, but I did not mean it that way." one thing she said to me excatly. Or when she stayed overnight, many times, laying right against me in only one of my tshirts and her panties, but I could not do anything because we were just friends and she did not want to lead me on. Yup, I love it when women are totally straghtforward like this.

Another friend of mine, who screwed up any sort of relationship we coulda ever had, blamed me for similar stuff like this- not knowing that I was inexperienced with being with guys as more than friends... but then he'd say that we're just friends, not dating, but act otherwise.

So, don't just blame us gals for "mixed signals"... you guys are just as guilty as we are!

 

[Lady_Acoma]

I have to agree that both guys and girls are both. I have dated/not dated? both men and women who have sent out the confusing signals and I will frankly say that after a short time of it I just walk away cause they diddin't know what they wanted, but I did I just didn't know that it wouldn't be with them.