Why players misbehave (from a teacher's perspective)

[Scott Christian]

DM: "Rogue, you see the barbarian swing with his axe, but the vampire jumps out of the way. The vampire's attention seems on the barbarian, her back is turned to you. What do you do?"

I do think these are great summaries. They help paint a picture, allow for the player to know what has happened in case they were distracted, and move the story along. I am not so GMMichael's example has the same outcome for skill checks. Just a thought.

 

[Thomas Shey]

I always find it a little amusing when I see "I don't have these problems; I play with adults." I'd think plenty of life experiences would tell one that adults are perfectly capable of having the same kinds of social conflict problems as they did when they were younger, but perhaps some people are singularly fortunate to only interact with people who have no interpersonal problems and/or are all on the same page.

 

[aramis erak]

The thread on players who do not buy into a campaign made me think of reasons people misbehave.

I teach 3rd Grade, and I've realized over time that a D&D group and a classroom are actually very similar! In the classroom, there are four major reasons students misbehave. I have a theory that these are the same reasons players misbehave.

Before I go into these reasons, let's define "misbehavior" in an RPG context.

To me, a player (or GM) misbehaving means they are acting against the general purpose of playing a game together. That is, they are acting against the group of humans sitting at the table (or the computer screen). This often looks like:

Acting out of turn.

Teasing other players.

Cheating.

Temper tantrums.

Getting angry at other players or events in the game.

Not wanting to play.

Playing in a style opposed by the group.

And many more!

Now there are a lot of threads about nightmare players or nightmare DMs. These threads often ask for advice on what to do after the session. In teaching, we say that no misbehavior can be fixed after it has occurred- you can't go back in time! But a band-aid can be applied in the moment, and proactive measures can be taken to help curb or prevent misbehaviors in the future.

So in this thread I am going to list the four major reasons behind player misbehaviors, and what they look like at the table. I would love to foster discussion on how these misbehaviors can be treated in the moment (a band-aid solution), and what can be done before the next session (proactive solution)!

Reasons Players (and GMs) Misbehave:

1. Need for Attention

What it looks like: Player talks out of turn, player's character needs to be center of story, player interrupts, player's character causes problems and conflicts outside of main storyline.

Why it's a problem: RPGs are collaborative games, and work best when attention, storylines, and time are divided equitably between all involved.

2. Need for Control

What it looks like: Players tells others how to run their characters, player min-maxes to "break" the game, player cheats on dice rolls or bonuses, player tantrums after "losing" a roll or conflict, player disengages from storyline, player's character doesn't match campaign...

Why it's a problem: RPGs tend to have strict rules about what different players can and cannot control; this separates if from the genre of collaborative storytelling and makes it more of a game. Players who cannot give up that control impact the role of an RPG as a game.

3. Perceived Incompetence

What it looks like: Player gives up on turn ("I don't know, I don't do anything"), player "forgets" the rules, player suddenly struggles to add numbers, player accuses others or GM of cheating...

Why it's a problem: RPGs can be pretty complicated, and players who feel like they cannot grasp the rules often feel as if the game, or other players, have an advantage over them, and may act out because of that.

4. Revenge

What it looks like: Players attacking other PCs, players teasing other players or GM, players insulting other Players, GM, or the campaign between sessions, players insulting campaign during session, players leaving early, players not following courtesy rules at table...

Why it's a problem: RPGs are a social game, and social conflicts outside of the campaign cannot be ignored in order for the game to function.


So what do you think? Are there more reasons why players (and GMs) misbehave? What are some band-aid solutions when you recognize this happening at the table? What are some proactive solutions that can be done between sessions?

You missed two, and they're both just as in the classroom
5. Bored with the material
Whether it's rehashing things they already know, they've played that module before, they aren't interested in the content...
What it looks like: Player is on their phone or tablet, player is stacking dice, player is reading a book...

Why it's a problem: The player is often not ready for their turn, and often misses cues from other players for cooperation. This slows play for all at the table.

This one is often mistaken for need for attention, but it really is a symptom of a different root issue.

6. Player has a learning disability or mental illness (including bilingual as a non-dysfuction disability)
What it looks like: player often misreads values, especially 6/9 and 2/5. Player makes totally inappropriate responses without otherwise being disruptive. Player can't remember what dice to roll when. Player needs help constantly with what should be easily understood. Character sheet is illegible chicken scratch. Player may mishear spoken words. Player may have trouble accepting house rules and/or different rule selections.

Way it's a problem: The player can often wind up embarrassed, discouraged, or both. Players are not in touch with the ongoing fiction due to low vocabulary. Players can wind up with fixation on minor issues of GM judgement - especially if they are autistic. Players may not be able to read their own sheets. Depressed

Of the 35 or more players in the last 4 years I've run for, I am aware of 6 with autism at some level, 10 with dyslexia, and one with brain damage (cancer surgery). 8 have had strong issues with depression to some level.

This one is quite workable. If they are functionally literate, provide rules cheat sheets telling them what kind of rolls when. Make certain players know that they can ask the meaning of words they don't know. Accept that some weeks, it's all that player can do just to be present.

I had one player who was great fun in group... but English was his 4th language, and he was not very good at English, despite being a successful Engineering student. It took patience on the part of the other players, not just me as GM, and I occasionally had to reexplain scenes with smaller words. My autistic players have had fewer issues than he did linguistically.

 

[aramis erak]

The bolded part is incredibly important. Playing at any particular table should be considered a privilege, not a right.

It's also a falsehood for persons running in league play in most stores. You have to run for whomever shows unless they violate the pretty lax standards the league rules set up. (D&D AL, PFS, and the one for Shadowrun all have inclusivity rules.)

And, noting that I've been running mostly at a store before the lockdown, I had little ability to say, "No, not you." The one player who was a major problem wasn't even at my table - but he's come around since he started playing RPGs in addition to MTG. And, he's become an asset when other MTG players are getting loud on league nights... because now he understands why his MTG group's noise was a problem.

If all your players are your personal friends, and all your games in private venues, you're lucky.

Edit to add: 15 years in the Anchorage School District as a sub, including working long term in Elementary Music, Tech Ed, and Special Education. RPG group management skills are night identical to small classroom management skills.