Nice post as always,
@Snarf Zagyg. It reminds me of my thinking back in the early 90s, when I discovered games like Talislanta and Ars Magica, or even White Wolf. I thought some variation of, "Boy, D&D's rules are kinda wacky - these are much better designed." It was a game whose chassis felt out-dated - and it was. This felt especially true comparing it to AM's magic system, or Tal's streamlined Action Table. Where games like Tal and AM were designed and published in the late 80s--after almost 15 years of RPGs--D&D was still borne from the halcyon days of Gygax's fertile (by idionsyncratic) imagination. I mean, even going back to the late 70s, Runequest seemed "better" designed.
Now 2000 comes around and 3E feels like a massive upgrade - mechanically speaking. And of course instrumental in that was Jonathan Tweet, who co-designed Ars Magica and had a hand in a later edition of Talislanta. But it felt like D&D crawled out of the murk of the 70s and--even if it still retained idiosyncratic elements (e.g. AC)--was at least streamlined and felt more like the older brother who still had a mullet, and less like the grandpa who couldn't work the VCR.
Fast forward to today, and I still wonder why I always come back to D&D. There are "better" designed games, and games that suit my aesthetic preference much more. Further, with WotC's recent quasi-ideological emphasis, I find myself withdrawing further ("can't we must play a game of dragons and wizards, and not worry about real-world stuff? There's enough of that on twitter"). But...D&D is still my first love; I was imprinted on D&D and, to this day, love its weird and wacky idiosyncracies and now immense body of lore.
And I think there is something more than just familiarity or imprinting. Despite its quirks, D&D has a unique signature or flavor - both crunch and fluff. From AC to the six ability scores to Vancian magic to mind flayers and beholders, to chromatic dragons and drow. And of course the worlds - Greyhawk, the Realms, Spelljammer, Dark Sun, the planes, etc. It is all "D&D," and nothing else.
So even if I don't like all elements of D&D, and like other games more, or appreciate them more aesthetically or from a design/mechanical point of view, I still
love D&D and probably always will, on some level or another. Or to quote Charlton Heston in reference to my first edition hardcovers:
From my cold, dead hands!