Widowmaker has passed away

[Nyaricus]

.... It still seems strange that he's gone, though. He was such a big part of my life.... Now that's gone and I don't know how to act. I've accepted his passing, well, at least as much as anyone can accept the loss of a close friend, but I still keep half expecting him to call me or show up at my house. It's funny how you know that death is a fact of life and you know that it's going to happen to you and those you care about, but it's still such a shock when it does happen.

There are just some things that you're going to have to get used to. My mother passed away 7 years ago this October (I was only 11 at the time) and I gotta say that the first year will be the worst. Why? Because it'll be the first time you have a birthday, and you won't see their face. The first time you go to a movie with friends, and he won't be there. The first time you go out and shoot the , and he won't be there. There will be many firsts that will sting you, and make you hurt on the inside something terrible. But it's something you are going to have to get through and continue on with or without. Just remember him for the great person he was, and never let go of your memories. Ever.

Again, my condolences. Do with my words what you will, but hopefully they'll help you out, in some small way. Pain of this sort, of a person loved, and lost, are one of the hardest to deal with. I hope you can work through this.

condolences,
--N

 

[Rel]

Since he moved four hours away to be a cop, I didn't see him in person as much, but we talked on the phone and emailed each other frequently. Now that's gone and I don't know how to act. I've accepted his passing, well, at least as much as anyone can accept the loss of a close friend, but I still keep half expecting him to call me or show up at my house. It's funny how you know that death is a fact of life and you know that it's going to happen to you and those you care about, but it's still such a shock when it does happen.

Everybody is different but my experience was very similar to this when my friend Ted died. And I agree with Nyaricus that those first year milestones are the roughest part. To me it was the little things that sucker punched me. I still remember when I was just going through some papers in my gaming stuff and came across one of his old character sheets and I just broke down crying.

And in that first year whenever his name would come up around the gaming table ("That's just like something Ted would do!") there would be this awkward moment of somber silence. But as time went on there was also laughter. I think you come to grips with the pain over time and are able to laugh about the good times without it feeling wrong.

After more than three years it's gotten to the point where I don't always think about him every day. But seldom more than a couple days go by without me seeing one of his "fingerprints" on my life. And I like that.

One thing about Ted was that he was a voracious reader. He had literally thousands of books in his condo at the time of his death. Those of us who were his friends and family went through them and took back the ones he borrowed from us )) and in turn took a few that had meaning to us. My wife had a stamp made that said "This Book Donated in Loving Memory of Ted" and we stamped all the rest of them on the inside front cover and then donated them to the public library. I think he would have liked that. So if you can find a similar gesture to make on Patrick's behalf then I would encourage you to do so.

The one other thing that I do is to try and help out Ted's mom as much as I can. I always liked her but since his death I've become much closer with her. She invites my family to her beach cottage from time to time and has let us use her pool in the summertime. In turn I try to help her with stuff like cleaning her pool and cleaning off her roof and gutters from time to time. That helps me keep my connection to Ted as a positive thing.

As always, we're here if you need an ear or shoulder. Peace be unto you.

 

[Sidekick]

Well I haven't checked the off topic in ages. And even though it is really late and I'm not very good at this without either rambling (present case) or sounding like a wanker.

but I'm really sorry to hear about that. I liked Widowmaker and I remember reading your guys Eberron PbP with Aalic.

My thoughts are with you and his family.

28 is waaay to young to go out.

 

[Nyaricus]

I agree with Nyaricus that those first year milestones are the roughest part. To me it was the little things that sucker punched me.

Yeah, I'll say it again: watch out for those. OTOH, don't avoid them either - you're going to need closer in this. I guess it's all about "going with the flow" of things, and being able to get knocked flat on your ass at 3 in the morning on a Monday and then get back up again and face the world. Stuff like that.

Good luck in this journey of yours.

cheers,
--N

 

[Ilium]

I just spotted this thread today. My condolences to Starman and all WM's friends and family. My thoughts are with you today.

 

[megamania]

Sorry hear of the news.

 

[genshou]

This wasn't what I hoped to find when I returned to the boards.

My condolences to the family. Too many of our officers die doing their duty. I grieve for them all. I'm glad to hear there was so much support at his funeral.

 

[Bobitron]

I'm very sorry to hear about this. I had spoken to Patrick by email regarding his WWII game and I know he followed our military game as well.

My condolences to his friends and family.

 

[Mistwell]

He will be missed. He died doing a heroic thing. His posts on d20 Modern were interesting. I am sorry for your loss.

 

[The Shaman]

My sincere condolences to Patrick's family and friends.