Words of Advice...

[Dannyalcatraz]

I was listening to "Words of Advice for Young People" by Material and William S. Burroughs (adult language in lyrics):

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scU3WE560Gc]YouTube - Words Of Advice William S. Burroughs[/ame]

And it got me thinking...what kinds of things might WSB have said to youngsters in a D&D (or other FRPG) campaign world?

"Never play Rochambeau with a Monk."

"Some of you, if you live long enough, may encounter an Orc guarding a pie. Don't be a fool, don't be the first to taste it- Orcs aren't known for their quality baking, but they are known for killing people. You don't know what- or who- is in that pie."



Anyone else?

 

[Lord Captian Tobacco]

1. You can never have too much rope.
2. Lock picks don’t fit into boots comfortably.
3. Swimming in plate mail is never the correct choice.
4. Always choose the flame-retardant robes when you can.


I’ll leave some for others to make up. There are so many…

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Not original to me, but...

"Never play leapfrog with a nervous Unicorn."

 

[tuxgeo]

"Stay armed and armored at all times: don't let the dastards get the drop on you. Own one or more sets of special, covert gear that you can wear in social situations, so you will always be prepared in case a fight breaks out--because a fight will break out just when you don't expect it, and a lot more often than ordinary chance would suggest.
"Choose clothing that lets you hide weapons; going naked while adventuring is a terrible idea, and wearing skimpy clothing is a close second. Keep a dirk in your boot. Wear a second implement in an unusual spot. Tie a spare amulet around you upper arm beneath your sleeve. (You can move it later if you need to.)
Staff wizards, conceal a spare wand in the curve of your lower back, or in the seam of your vest: that's your chance to remain armed in situations where courtesy requires that you leave your mighty staff in the custody of the hatcheck girl.
"Whatever you do, improvise! If they don't expect it, then they might not plan for it ahead of time."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"If you're a spellcaster, don't become dependent upon them: you never know when the magic won't work. Clubs, on the other hand, are as dependable as your right arm."

 

[MortalPlague]

"Never challenge a basilisk to a staring contest."

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

"Some people adventure for the money, some for fame and glory, still others just to do what's right. No matter what they say, they are all in it to get to that next level of power."

"Don't bother setting watches at night. You'll only be attacked when the person on watch falls asleep, so you might as well get it over with and enjoy the rest of the night."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"Never interfere in a Deva-Rakshasha fight."