Noticing how many of these codes have a "chain of command" built into them. So, I ask the question; Do you provide a hierarchy for your players, does a cleric out-rank a paladin? How about a monk?
Most of medieval society had a chain of command. That's the whole point of the social order back then. The concept of people being "free to pursue their own goals" took time to evolve.
A couple of points:
A paladin is a character who follows a code of conduct, traditionally one espoused by a military order. Knights Templar or King Arthur's Round Table generally being held as examples. Therefore, as GM I create the Order and the Code the player might make a paladin for, or the player provides me with comparable. No paladin runs in my game without a code I can't see and verify his behavior against.
On code violations, what I'm looking for is blatant disregard for the values they espouse. Being mean to women, choosing profit over helping the needy. In alleged no-win situations, the paladin can't lose if chooses trying to do the right thing. Thus, if the paladin gets orders to make a suicide mission, unless he switches sides or flees without regret, he should be fine.
On CoC, for NPCs I trend to two patterns. Bossy NPCs who aren't good leaders and give crappy orders. This is usually meant as a challenge for the PC to figure out how to deal with them. As such, I expect rebellion and the players to find a way to take this guy down. He's meant to be a villain of sort.
The other kind of leader NPCs don't order, they ask. The build a rapport with their underlings that earns respect. Thus, PCs tend to be happy to follow orders and move up.
For parties with rank hierarchy, I remind players that fun is still the meta-game rule. As such, players are not to abuse their fellow players with their rank. I advise players to be more like Captain Picard and ask for input from their fellow PCs, before making a decision. The result is, the party is still making the decision, under the guise that the PC issued the order.
On more code, this time Google found me the Templar Knights Motorcycle Club, with a workable code:
- I shall defend the Templar Knights, laws of the land, and the constitution of the United States.
- I shall respect and defend the weak, the sick, and the needy.
- I shall patriotically love and protect my country.
- I shall not retreat from adversity nor from challenge.
- I shall ceaselessly oppose evil and deceit.
- I shall perform scrupulously my civic duties
- I shall remain faithful to my pledged oath.
- I shall prudently give alms and aid.
- I shall be everywhere and always the champion of right, good, and tolerance against injustice.
Note the second to the last, prudently giving alms and aid. I read that as, don't be stupidly helpful, but be helpful.