Worst (best?) Gaming Puns

[Ranes]

Well the best pun that's come up in my game recently was when I ran The Forge Of Fury. (Don't worry, no spoilers here.) When the party's dwarven fighter finally came across an example of the smith's fine craftsmanship, he examined the weapon closely. Then, overcome with awe, he came out with, "Aye, you're a better dwarf than me, Durgeddin."

We all need to get out more.

 

[Wombat]

Old school classic -- maybe lost on current generation...

Fighter fights with shortsword

Later he finds a longsword

"Ah, I coulda had a D8..."

Mouldy oldy, f'sher...

 

[Henry]

If you're concerned about bad puns around the gaming table, never, under any circumstances, allow a character to posess either a Rod of Lordly Might...

Learned that one the hard way. I'll NEVER give that as treasure again, because the owner receives about a dozen "rod" jokes per session, on average.

 

[Tallok]

mostly we get really reallly bad jokes, not puns, and mostly not at all repeatable on this site... and we'll leave it at that.

 

[Mercule]

or a weasel familiar.

I used to have pet ferrets, who were often referred to as weasels (hey, they're both mustelids). They were, in many ways, walking puns.

At game time, it was sometimes heard, "Okay, quit playing with my weasel. It's time to game." Or something to that general effect.

 

[Piratecat]

We get plenty of bad puns and jokes. But it's the rampant, unchecked farting that really needs to stop.

Remember how I said I wanted to game with you, next time I was in NC? Well, err, I can't make it. Ever.

 

[Rel]

Remember how I said I wanted to game with you, next time I was in NC? Well, err, I can't make it. Ever.

But, Piratecat, you'll miss out on my wife's chilli! Actually, come to think of it, that's not a mitigating factor in this circumstance....

 

[WayneLigon]

Two weeks ago, the party was investigating a series of corridors, one of which turned out to be a prison. Cells line the walls on either side. My character, Cellyn the rogue, is dutifully checking ahead when doors on either side of his spring open and he is attacked and flanked by two dire weasels. Both hit and begin to drain blood. Being fourth level, Cell is in some deep hurting. The dwarf, being the mighty warrior he is, attacks one. Cell attacks the other, though he has little hope of dislodging the monster before it drains him into unconsciouness.

The dwarf hits and manages to dislodge one, while amazingly Cellyn crits the one he attacked and manages to kill it. Apparently it wasn't nearly as buff as it's partner.

His comment?

At least I chose the lesser of two weasels.

 

[diaglo]

...because the owner receives about a dozen "rod" jokes per session, on average.

Rod Serling: you have entered, "The Twilight Zone"

oops...different Rod joke.

 

[Zappo]

But, Piratecat, you'll miss out on my wife's chilli! Actually, come to think of it, that's not a mitigating factor in this circumstance....

Click here for a video of Piratecat, Rel and RelWife's gaming session.

(if you get a screenful of garbage, right click, save as, and open it from disk)