Worst fantasy names in our Real World

[JohnnyO]

According to Google maps, Intercourse, Pennsylvania is about thirty-one hours from Climax, Colorado. And according to Google web search there might be a few shortcuts. According to my wife the shortcuts are seldom worthwhile. (She's from Colorado, so she should know.)

If you start in Bird in Hand, PA and head east, you'll reach Intercourse, PA. If you head south from Intercourse, PA you'll reach Paradise, PA

All in all, it only takes about 16 minutes. (I wish I was making this up)

Check Google Maps if you don't believe me.

The Amish have dirty minds.

 

[vonmolkew]

There are some local ones that would probably get laughed at in a fantasy novel. Wyre Piddle, Flyford Flavell, Compton Scorpion, Upton Snodsbury, Iron Cross; real places. And of course, Hell, in Norway.

There's a Hell in Michigan, too. I thought Dante said there was only one way to get into Hell.....

I just noticed....it's near Ann Arbor. So when michigan fans tell visiting Ohio State fans to "Go To Hell", are they just being nice and recommending a local sight-seeing trip?

 

[vonmolkew]

There is a Ware, Illinois not 10 minutes from my front door. I live in Anna, I went to school in Cobden (there are 6 of those all named for the same English explorer Sir Richard Cobden - ego maniac much?) So, the area I live in, pretty lousy on the fantasy name scale.

On a higher note (pun intended) I grew up in Alto Pass (High Pass) which all in all isn't all that bad of a fantasy town name, unless you are from there, and then it's just silly.

All of these towns are within about 10 minutes of each other.

Other "great" names in this area:
Wolf Lake
Campground
Woodshed
Mount Pleasant
Marion
Glen Ridge
Pomona - no, that isn't a Native American word, it's just dumb
Vienna (pronounced VIE - anna not like the Austrian town it shares a spelling with)
Cairo (pronounced KAY-roh (like the syrup) not like the Egyptian town of the same name)
Karnack - Like the Great of Johnny Carson fame
Johnson City
Ziegler-Royalton (Where John Malcovich is from)
Jonesboro
Murphysboro
Harrisburg
Elizabethtown
Mulkeytown
Howardton
Eddysville
Golconda
Simpson
New Grand Chain (there is no Grand Chain)
Goreville (maybe that's where the monsters live) *rolleyes*
Christopher
Buckner
Tyrone
Chester

As you can see, a whole lot of thought and intelligence went into the naming of these locations. Makes me proud to be a Southern Illinoisan.

Up north in Illinois are few:
Volo (named after the explorer?)
there's a body of water called Third Lake and a body of water called Fourth Lake....but I'll be damned if I can find First Lake or Second Lake
Keeneyville
Old Mill Creek which doesn't appear to be anywhere near a creek
Big Rock, which is north of Little Rock
Freeport (2 hours from Lake Michigan)

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Trying to avoid the ones already posted...tough!

Places:

Piscataway, NJ. I believe Robin Williams has a joke about it...
Derweze, the "Gates of Hell" (Turkmenistan)


People:

Mr. Whitekiller. (the uncle of one of my Native American friends)
Pslm Civ (that's the abbrev. for "Psalm 104"- one of my Mom's students)
God Shammgod (called "Sham" by his college teammates!)

 

[AdmundfortGeographer]

I've always wondered how many "-fanes" there are in the real world, because D&D has been overrun with them!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Anyone mention Gross Tete (Big Head), Louisiana?

 

[grizzo]

No one has mention that strange little town of BERWYN.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Don't know what's odd about that one- I've seen it in Illinois and Pennsylvania, though.

What about Baden Baden, Germany? ("Baden" means "bath.")

 

[Scotley]

Heh heh, I was an undergrad at Walnut Ridge, which should have been named "Pecan Plains"

Too true. And speaking of the twin cities, what exactly is a 'Hoxie'?

My family is from Lawrence County not the urban center of Walnut Ridge, but the real backwoods.

 

[Andrew D. Gable]

Some others from Pennsylvania. Note that some, well most, of these actually sound pretty cool, most notably the ones derived from Native American words.

Jersey Shore, funny 'cause it's not at all near NJ
Big Beaver, funny 'cause... well, yeah

Bodies of Water:
Wolf Pond
Lake Nockamixon

Creeks and Rivers:
Tulpehocken Creek
Pennypack Creek
Onojutahaga (Juniata) River
Drakeskill (Poquessing) Creek
Tombs Run

Features:
Hawk Mountain
Broad Top Mountain
Ravensberg
Woolfmansgrob (Werewolf's Grave)
Kittatinny Ridge

Towns:
Lionville
Malvern
Wind Gap
Bushkill
Salunga
Manayunk
Toughkenamon
Hop Bottom

Honorable mention also needs to be given to Bullbeggar Creek in Virginia (Bullbeggar being a folkloric English goblin).