Writing in the Gygax style

[Quasqueton]

Rereading some of the old AD&D PHB and DMG last night prompted this concept.

I would like to propose a short/small writing contest for a little light-hearted and good-natured fun with Gary Gygax's writing style.

Please note: I have a special place in my heart for the Gygax style. It was the style I read most in my youth, being prevelant throughout most of the D&D books that I read over and over, 20+ years ago. In fact, I would say that my vocabulary expanded more from reading Gygax's writings than I did from school English class. (At least I learned more *interesting* words through Gygax.)

This exercise is not a slam or insult towards EGG or old AD&D. It is a humorous homage. His style, to my knowledge and reading experience, is unique and more identifyable than any other writing I know.

So, can you rewrite one (or all) of these passages in the Gygax style:

AID ANOTHER
In melee combat, you can help a friend attack or defend by distracting or interfering with an opponent. If you’re in position to make a melee attack on an opponent that is engaging a friend in melee combat, you can attempt to aid your friend as a standard action. You make an attack roll against AC 10. If you succeed, your friend gains either a +2 bonus on his next attack roll against that opponent or a +2 bonus to AC against that opponent’s next attack (your choice), as long as that attack comes before the beginning of your next turn. Multiple characters can aid the same friend, and similar bonuses stack.

Rage (Ex): A barbarian can fly into a rage a certain number of times per day. In a rage, a barbarian temporarily gains a +4 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, and a +2 morale bonus on Will saves, but he takes a -2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase in Constitution increases the barbarian’s hit points by 2 points per level, but these hit points go away at the end of the rage when his Constitution score drops back to normal. (These extra hit points are not lost first the way temporary hit points are.) A fit of rage lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the character’s (newly improved) Constitution modifier. A barbarian may prematurely end his rage. At the end of the rage, the barbarian loses the rage modifiers and restrictions and becomes fatigued (-2 penalty to Strength, -2 penalty to Dexterity, can’t charge or run) for the duration of the current encounter (unless he is a 17th-level barbarian, at which point this limitation no longer applies; see below).

True Strike
You gain temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during your next attack. Your next single attack roll (if it is made before the end of the next round) gains a +20 insight bonus. Additionally, you are not affected by the miss chance that applies to attackers trying to strike a concealed target.
Focus: A small wooden replica of an archery target.

Do not change the rules. Do not translate back to AD&D terminology or numbers. This should not become an edition war.

Quasqueton

 

[Algolei]

What if GG joins the competition himself? Is he a shoe-in? What if he joins and loses?

Maybe...*gasp!*...maybe I could be the new Gygax!!!

 

[diaglo]

well this is going nowhere without at least a vocabulary section.

must use words: milieu, melee, rake, harlot, Bohemian ear spoon, destrier

 

[Piratecat]

The best thread EVER on the boards was when we did this, Gary joined and posted for the first time. . . and no one believed him.

 

[francisca]

Why do the best competitions come up when I have deadlines hanging over my head?

 

[jester47]

Hey PC,

Do you think you could post a link to that thread? Do we still have it?

Aaron.

 

[Henry]

It may well be lost to one of our thread cleanups. It actually wasn't from a "gygaxian writing" thread, it was from a thread speculating whether or not Gary posted on these forums under a pseudonym. I'll never forget Col. Hardisson theorizing that "Col. Pladoh" was another poster playing off of his screen name based on the "hard vs. soft" implication. Later Eric revealed who the "mystery member" was and verified who "Pladoh" really was.

EDIT - I just did a search to confirm - Gary's original postings were BEFORE January of 2002, apparently, because he was answering posts as early as 1-21-2002 and it was obvious people knew who he was at the time. We have NO posts before Jan 2002 because of a forum move at the time, so the good Col's first appearance at ENWorld is lost to history.

FURTHER EDIT - Just to get this thread back on topic, I'll post an entry of "Gygaxian Writing" later tonight - after I get access to my 1E PHB and DMG.

 

[cybertalus]

EDIT - I just did a search to confirm - Gary's original postings were BEFORE January of 2002, apparently, because he was answering posts as early as 1-21-2002 and it was obvious people knew who he was at the time. We have NO posts before Jan 2002 because of a forum move at the time, so the good Col's first appearance at ENWorld is lost to history.

Anybody remember the url of the old forums? If so, there's a slim possibility that The Wayback Machine may have archived a copy.

 

[Wild Gazebo]

Aid Another (tempted to change the name to: Attack to Enhance Ally but thought better of it)

In general, during the course of a melee encounter, a character might be capable of making multiple distractions or strategic maneuvers capable of increasing an ally's chance of success. As a standard action, a character who is potentially in postion to make a melee attack at an opponent (with an ally in a similar position) may instead strike against an armor class of 10. Success indicates that the character's ally recieves either a +2 bonus to armor class or +2 bonus to his next melee attack roll before the charcter's next action. As long as all prerequisites are met, there is no limit to the number of characters capable of aiding an ally, and thus no limit to stackable bonuses.

edit: spelling

 

[MonsterMash]

Hope I'll get time at the weekend to give it a shot.

Gazebo - nice entry.