You Know Your Game Is Twisted When...

[Azzy42xy]

You know your game is twisted when.......

Your druid and wizard have arguement about woodland creatures. In fit of rage the druid turns the wizard into a small monkey, names him Bobo and sells the wizard to a group of traveling bards. Later that gaming session the Paladin for no apparent reason rubs honey over himself and runs through the forest. No more paladin!
The next day the sorceror is slapped about by a unarmed villager who was 3 levels lower than sorceror ( never seen anyone roll so many natural 1s)
And finally you know your game is twisted if you discover a Minataur wearing a Tutu ( no explanation given)

 

[jeff37923]

You know your game is twisted when.......

Your 2nd Ed DnD Bard manages to become the thrall of a sentient tapestry that is embroidering history into its weave, and both you and your character think it is just so damn cool....

 

[LiarsSmile]

You know your game is twisted when...

your party has a paladin and an athasian (sp?) halfling. The halfling is canabilistic and not on his home planet anymore. He is also a cleric who says he will heal the wounded man. I as a paladin wait outside because he is an odd cleric who says he needs room to work. I was a naive paladin, unsure how other faiths worked. Well the man couldn't be healed but the halfling did manage to pick up some "finger food" for the road. I couldn't detect evil on him since the canabilism was part of his society "norms". He did that to me more than once.

 

[Toras]

These are just a few of the Twisted road that we have walked in Shemmy's Planescape game.

To set this up for you, understand that my character is a custom class (Avenger/Defender of Children). The following scenarios have played out.

1. A slaver specializing in children comes to my attention. Taking along the cleric of Tempus, we don disguises (Myself as a Halfdragon Sodkiller, she as a dustman) and proceed to track him down, by going to the seediest areas of Lotus Blossum District,and bribe the prostitues to tell us where he is. We then burst in on one of his meetings (selling slaves whole sale apparently), killing everyone involved, and at the moment of death we seal him a bag of holding. We then use trap the soul to bind his soul into a gem, and sell him into eternal slavery.
2. In order to help save the Multiverse from what amounted to unrelenting evil, we needed to know how to read a device known as the Oblivion Compass. Unfortunately the only person who could show us was a Baernoloth in the Demiplane of Time, named the blind clock maker. We manage to reach him, and bargain for the knowledge (make sure to gain his word that it was not an evil thing nor something that would come back and harm us)
What it ended up being was traveling to a Rattitosk village and gather as many children as there where people in the party to go back with us. They would be killed but in return the World Tree that they lived on would be healed of the damaged that the world serpent had done to it and their world would continue to exist.
Caught between two horrible options, and knowing that no self sacrifice would be accepted, my character was faced with two options. Leave or stop the rest of his party. He left, but the knowledge haunts him to this day. The TN celestial, and the CG rogue (npc) took his queue and left. The other had to live with bringing them back, and the mage, who gained the knowledge had to deal with the image of their horrible demise playing through his head.

 

[Darkness]

We then use trap the soul to bind his soul into a gem, and sell him into eternal slavery.

Reminds me of my aforementioned friend's players...

One of their characters in some game, a gnome lich, soultrapped solar and used this gem to power some magic item that could make light or something - for no other reason than being able to say he had a (warning: horrible, horrible pun ahead) solar-powered light machine.

 

[mhacdebhandia]

When the fighter/rogue in your party, having donned a helm of opposite alignment and become Lawful Good, introduces himself to a travelling caravan of NPCs as a "paladin of Cyric".

When a major conflict between party members centers over possession of an iron flask which contains the mother of one of the PCs - who happens to be a succubus.

When the half-fiend githyanki wizard in the party enlists the help of some of us to take over a small magical cult within Sigil, which first involves the minotaur fighter pretty much slaughtering the more senior members of the guild and leaving the PC wizard as sole survivor - who then proceeds to rebuild membership in the cult just to use the acolytes as fuel for the ritual which will make him a lich.

When one of the PCs accompanying this lich to negotiate with a demon prince remains behind after negotiations turn sour (the lich's last words were "Then I'll see you on the other side of the Blood War!") and agrees to abandon her service as Cyric's cleric to worship the demon prince.

When the half-celestial sorceress who has dedicated her life to cold and ruthless pursuit of the (supposedly) fallen celestial who ravished her mother and thus fathered her finally meets up with him - and ends up being convinced to leave him alive for now.

When your sorcerer/alienist character's pseudonatural familiar is killed and you wake up with an undead but decaying version of it growing from one side of your face.

When all of this sounds much sillier than it really was in play, when it was often quite creepy.

 

[Darkness]

When your sorcerer/alienist character's pseudonatural familiar is killed and you wake up with an undead but decaying version of it growing from one side of your face.

Cthulhoid horror - check
Undead - check

Now you'll just need to train it as a ninja and it'd be the perfect being.

 

[mhacdebhandia]

Man, it eventually withered away (though never actually left the character's face) and he woke up one morning to find an egg by his mouth from which his new familiar eventually hatched. The other players didn't like to think about that.

 

[eris404]

Had to resurrect this thread, because something embarrassingly twisted happened in the last game we played.

Alright, so we're playing evil PCs in a fairly horrific Greyhawk. We're in a city that is under siege and bartered our aid to the local lord. One PC has the ability to control undead and decides to use his pet wraith to create a small army of wraiths. So he asks the local lord if there is a poor house, lots of homeless, whatever, that he may use to create his undead. The local lord directs him to...an orphanage.

Now, we're well-adjusted adults and so this plot point is making us pretty uncomfortable. The DM is happy to make us more at ease by making the children into evil, vicious, thieving urchins led by a hag (did I mention there are no good, innocent people anywhere in this campaign?). So we surround the building and the undead-controlling character lets loose his wraith...

...and the player's wife and three children come home right at that moment. His kids are all under 5 years old and love to watch us game, so they eagerly ran to the table to sit with us. We sat around in embarrassed silence until I said, "so...what do the monkeys do?"

The rest of that scene, we played out calling the orphans "monkeys." Man, was that uncomfortable.

 

[Darkness]

Wow. Now, I've encountered many a weird gaming story but I must say I'm very impressed by how you handled this delicate situation, eris404. Way to go...