Your most pointless TV/movie/book nitpicks

May have been mentioned before...

The Last Jedi - So...you have this Resistance/Rebel Fleet (and throughout the movies they can't make up their mind whether they are called the Resistance, or are Rebels) that is fleeing from a Fleet of First Order Starships. Now, despite the fact that the First Order could simply hyperspace a bunch of ships to all sides of the three Resistance ships and do a pincer movement...they don't...but this isn't what I'm really griping about. It's that they never think about using all their smaller shuttles and hyperspacing a few hundred people away. I mean, Finn and Rose did it going AND coming back. If they can go and get back without getting noticed, surely you could do that with others as well.

They could go in all sorts of direction and then gather back together later.

But NOOOO...instead they have to have some convoluted plan to simply ship everyone at slow speed to a close by planet they get to. Even if they hadn't been noticed...

How long until their one last remaining ship runs out of fuel or dies off and then the First Order goes...hmmm..where could everyone have gone? Well...there WAS this ONE planet they went by...

Yeah...Stupidest plan...EVER.

And demoting the guy that blew up a ship that would have taken you all out. You should have promoted him to admiral after you found out your entire fleet was "somehow" being tracked (tracking device anyone...or didn't anyone ever watch...I mean read the history manuals...from Star Wars a New Hope???). If he hadn't destroyed that Dreadnought they would have destroyed all 3 of your ships shortly thereafter when they came out of Hyperspace after tracking you.

But wait, it gets even BETTER! They have this supposed battle before their base at the end. Those little Air speeders (Salt SpeederS?) do absolutely NOTHING. They don't fire weapons, they don't shoot, they don't do anything but get shot at and destroyed? Why were they even out there in the first place if they don't do anything except fly around? It makes zero sense that they were out there to get shot at if they don't do anything.

Was the only plan to RAM things and hope that their fragile frames blow those items up? Cause that didn't even come close to happening.

And finally, we get to the end, where a man dies...simply for looking at the Sun? I mean...was it that he sent an illusion of himself so hard that he DIED???...apparently of sweating to death or something?

It's never explained and makes no sense. It's like the director just wanted to kill some character off or something just cause...because it makes no sense to me why that guy died. It pops out of the blue for no reason, though he did seem to be sweating a lot. Maybe he slipped or something (looked like he was levitating, so I have a hard time thinking he slipped and bonked his head...but even if he had you could have had him say owww or something to tell us something happened).
These are mostly general whinges not nitpicks, my friend. This is more about nitpicks - i.e. specific little things that don't make sense and are just petty to be mad about. Like, the Finn & Rose point - that's a nitpick, sure. Arguing about why they didn't promote the guy - that's not a nitpick, that's just arguing with the writing, and that's a much broader subject. There's barely a show on TV where people aren't saying "BUT HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT!" or "SHE WOULD NEVER!!!" - that's only a nitpick if they clearly forgot an established character trait or the like (one show, I forget which, established one character was an alcoholic and then forgot it like six episodes later - that's a nitpick). And "looking at the sun" isn't even a nitpick or conventional whinge, it's an intentionally obtuse wilful misinterpretation of the plot, and those can be fun, but "Let's misinterpret the plot of movies on purpose!" is a whole other thread (which may be worth starting!).

I've got another nitpick example - Netflix decided a few years ago that they could cheaply achieve high views on shows in both the UK and US by making Harlen Coben thrillers into TV shows, but setting them in the UK and thus getting a cheap supply of mid through high-end actors and much cheaper location shooting (they've attempted other locations in Europe with somewhat less success). We've seen several shows like this - but one really stuck out for me, and I think it was The Stranger (they all sort of blur together).

Specifically, a female character has compromising photographs taken of her (I think selfies even), and the entire plot requires that these be possible to use blackmail her and her relatives with in a very specific way, i.e. they'll be put on the internet, on various sites which will refuse to take them down, and this will cause her problems in future because when people look her up for jobs etc. they'll see these, and that this problem will follow her around forever.

Now in the US, at the time (several years ago), and presumably when the book was written, this would have worked - it may still do, though I think it's now largely illegal, thankfully. But in the UK and EU, even years before the show was filmed this would have been a non-issue. This wasn't a famous person, note, but rather a private individual - there were already well-established and not very costly methods to get Google, Bing and others to simply exclude that stuff on a data protection/privacy law basis or to get them taken down on copyright grounds (if selfies or similar). No-one searching her name would have found this material unless it was in a very small window, and particularly the issue wouldn't have followed her around, because Google/Bing would have been legally required to block those results (and you can do this on much flimsier grounds) and their automation would likely have blocked sites which attempted to re-post the material.

You can see with more recent Harlen Coben stuff set in the UK that they've somewhat improved on this - like, someone gets pepper sprayed (a serious crime in the UK - it's in the same category as firearms, weapon-wise, and totally illegal), and the police officer who finds out says "That's a serious offence!" (and it is), but then he acts utterly lackadaisically about it, like this was the US and it was just a thing people might do, like a low-level scuffle, not a serious crime involving an illegal weapon, and as fun as it is to think cops are lazy, I don't buy that a senior detective in the UK is going to overlook that, because it could cause him professional consequences if he did - he'd have sent people to arrest the person who was accused of doing it. So they're still not quite there.
 

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In Excalibur, when Arthur is facing off against Lancelot, Nigel Terry seems to say "This is deExcalibur" instead of "This is Excalibur". To my ears at least that is what it has always sounded like (or something to that effect). Maybe he is throwing in a french 'de' to mock Lancelot, but I don't think so.

 

pukunui

Legend
In Excalibur, when Arthur is facing off against Lancelot, Nigel Terry seems to say "This is deExcalibur" instead of "This is Excalibur". To my ears at least that is what it has always sounded like (or something to that effect). Maybe he is throwing in a french 'de' to mock Lancelot, but I don't think so.

Hmm. There's definitely a sound there, but I can't tell if it's some kind of artifact in the recording or the actor stumbling over his words, or what. Perhaps he was trying to say "the Excalibur" as in "the one and only". I don't know. Weird.
 

Hmm. There's definitely a sound there, but I can't tell if it's some kind of artifact in the recording or the actor stumbling over his words, or what. Perhaps he was trying to say "the Excalibur" as in "the one and only". I don't know. Weird.
It is definitely up for debate what it is. I think it is his delivery and not the recording. I have often wondered what he intended to say that would cause that, and "the" definitely could have been the word he meant to speak or mistakenly started to say before quickly correctly himself
 

These are mostly general whinges not nitpicks, my friend. This is more about nitpicks - i.e. specific little things that don't make sense and are just petty to be mad about. Like, the Finn & Rose point - that's a nitpick, sure. Arguing about why they didn't promote the guy - that's not a nitpick, that's just arguing with the writing, and that's a much broader subject.
This is some top-tier nitpicking.
 


Richard I was shot by a boy with a crossbow, but he died of gangrene rather than the wound. So I guess partial credit to the boy?
It was likely also the bad surgery when they attempted to remove it. He survived long enough to return to Aquitaine and die in his mother's arms so it's not like he died on the battlefield either.

Most notably it only happened because he forgot to put on his armor (because he was super kewl like that). He'd gotten away with it in earlier battles (like when he waded ashore in Jaffa ahead of his army) but this time his luck didn't hold. Guy was thinking he was a film action hero long before cinema.
 

It's like in the Dark Knight Rises when Bane's crew breaks into the Gotham stock exchange and suddenly Wayne Tech's stocks are all messed up. Like, duh, they wouldn't have fixed what was clearly criminal interference of some kind?
Yeah there's no way any of those trades would have been allowed to stand.
 

The second episode of John Adams, the mini-series with Paul Giamatti, has a scene where Henry Knox brings the cannon from Fort Ticonderoga to Cambridge by way of Braintree, Massachusetts, presumably so he can chat with Abigail Adams. Now this at least a thirty-mile detour if you go straight through Boston and back, but, in the episode, he's coming up from the southeast, heading back towards Boston, which is mindbogglingly out of his way. I shut it off, put the DVD back in the Netflix mailer, and put it directly in the mail.
It's a shame most of that series is pretty good. I think it's the only depiction of George III that actually gets close to his likely accent.
 

Season 5 Episode 10, Game of Thrones.

Stannis and his army walk up to Winterfell and get trounced.

There are no scouts, no piquets, no baggage train and camp followers. Just a bunch of blokes with swords plodding through the snow. The complete lack of planning is contrary to everything we know about Stannis; the absence of any logistical considerations within the filming and setting up of the scene robs it of any authenticity.

I was already losing interest in the show, but I think this was the point it really jumped the shark for me.
 

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