I'm going to foolishly wade into this thread once more and see if perhaps, I can be more clear.
I come to the table with a character (we have, at this point, reached Hussar's "cypher" point). Through simple introduction, I explain the character is an elf, and female.
NOW! I have established that my character is not myself (a male human), from this point forward, the presentation of this elf female is largely in my hands. If I am playing a fairly culturally-normative elf female, then per @
MechaPilot this character should uphold certain established cultural norms and values. I may need some assistance from the GM from time to time since me, the IRL male human, wouldn't know the ins and outs of the elf society I come from, or how women are treated and behave in that society.
BUT! It is highly common for adventurers to be
exceptions rather than norms. Perhaps I have a particularly stronk elf, who is a bit of a pyro that likes getting drunk and generally being loud. Most people, regardless of the particulars of any homebrew elf-culture, would compare that to traditional elf cultures (such as portrayed in Tolkein) and agree that's not normative. In fact, that's probably not even normative for IRL human female culture (though it's certainly more possible now than it was before). But more to the point, being strong, enjoying lighting things on fire, getting drunk and being loud are not elements that most people would immediately identify as female.
So this is where I come back to question [MENTION=22779]Hussar[/MENTION]: We know that adventures are a mixed bunch. How does one properly portray that their character is female, when their player is not,
without ascribing traditional gender-binary hetero-normative elements to them? Or, in the context of the elf described above, is it your assertion that I
shouldn't be playing a female character if they have no traditional gender-binary hetero-normative elements?
Or, is it simply enough that I have stated my character is an elf, and female? Because from before, I thought I asked that, and your response seemed to me(and I may have misunderstood) that this was unsatisfactory?