A dilema

[shilsen]

Myself, I would be unable to violate the Guy Code by ratting out another guy.

On the other hand, I have no problem with a 'no snogging during the game' policy.

The Guy Code?

*rolls d20*

Aah, made my Will save!

*leaves without commenting*

 

[JRRNeiklot]

Personally, I'd tell them to cut that crap out at my house. Or at the gaming table if the game is not at your house. If they can't control themselves, boot them from the group. I would not tell the husband, unless he was a closer friend than the girl.

Then I'd call her up and ask her out.

 

[tonym]

The Guy Code is indeed powerful...but it must be properly invoked. One guy must invoke it, and another guy has to accept it for it to be binding.

There are two ways of invoking it:

Directly: "Um...don't say anything to Shelly, okay?"
Indirectly: "Sorry about making-out on your couch, man."

If the guy neglected to invoke the Guy Code, or if you did not agree to it, then you are free to do as you like.

That's how I see the Guy Code, anyhow.

Tony M

 

[devilbat]

Originally Posted by Wormwood
Myself, I would be unable to violate the Guy Code by ratting out another guy.

We must be operating on a different guy code.

Mine clearly states that "A friend, who cheats with another friends wife, shall be held down, and kicked in the nards until such time as he is truly repentent of his acts. Further more, the friend who's spouce did cheat, shall be the judge as to when the cheater is truly repentent".

Pretty straight forward if you ask me.

 

[Umbran]

If you don't tell the husband about this, then you are not his friend.

It isn't that simple. Because, honestly, their relationship is none of his damned business. Telling the husband begins the game of "one person's word against another", and who is more likely to win that - the wife or the not-terribly-close friend?

I think the proper thing to do it to be honest with the offenders. Tell them both, together, that their behavior makes you uncomfortable, and exactly why. Warn them that you'll be keeping a camera around, and that if they continue to do this in your presence, you'll take a damned picture and pass that along to the husband.

Or, if you really feel compelled to tell the husband, take the picture first. You don't want to get anyone entangled in a situation of questionable trust, leaving him wondering for years if she's cheating. Provide solid proof, or stay the heck out of it. Don't muck around with mere words

 

[TheEvil]

I've never heard of this Guy Code. But if a friend of mine decided that the other guy was more deserving of loyalty than me, I wouldn't consider him my friend ever again.

No friend of mine would allow me to continue believing I had a wife who loved me, if he knew she was sleeping with someone else. He'd tell me, because he'd want me to know the truth, not live a lie.

I'm quite astonished that I appear to be in the minority in feeling this way, and so many feel that one has no moral obligation to tell a friend about a cheating spouse. Sure, you don't have any obligation to tell a stranger about what his/her spouse may be doing...but a friend?

There is a moral obligation to speak up. There even may be a moral obligation to alert the husband. You have to bear in mind that in many of these cases, the messenger gets shot for his trouble. Certainly I would want to know if my wife was cheating on me. I would not, however, envy the friend who found out and had to figure out it I was going to get mad at them or not (I wouldn't).

The husband should definately know, but it should be his wife who tells him. If they are to have any chance to patch it up, she needs to be the one to fess up. Until you talk to her and see what happens, it is really impossible to say what the appropriate next step is.

 

[Mishihari Lord]

What dilemma?

What dilemma? Game issues are utterly unimportant when compared to marital issues. You're talking about their happiness for the rest of their lives.

Apply the golden rule. If you were the girl's husband, what would you want? Do that. You've been there, so you should have a very good idea.

If their behavior in your house makes you uncomfortable tell them to stop. Your house, your rules. I wouldn't feel comfortable if even my married friends were making out in front of me.

If it were me, I would first tell them to knock it off at my house. I would then tell the girl that I'll be calling her husband in two days to talk about it. She can tell him or not in the meantime as she chooses.

If the game blows up over this, that's okay. It's nowhere near as important as their marraige. Also, personaly I would not choose to be friends with anyone who cheats on their spouse. That's just not the type of person I want to be around.

 

[Mishihari Lord]

It isn't that simple. Because, honestly, their relationship is none of his damned business.

The rest of your post is right on, but this little bit is BS. Friends look out for each other. If someone's stabbing my friend in the back, be sure I'm going to try to help him out. If it's my firned, then it's my business. That's a big part of what friendship is about.

 

[Umbran]

The rest of your post is right on, but this little bit is BS. Friends look out for each other. If someone's stabbing my friend in the back, be sure I'm going to try to help him out. If it's my firned, then it's my business. That's a big part of what friendship is about.

Yeah, friends look out for each other. But the post says all three of them are friends. So, who do you look out for? If you spak, all of them will be hurt. Saying someting here may end up with a divorce. Years of pain and suffering. Or heaven forfend, worse. These people "aren't close", so Griffonsec is not in a position to tell how this guy will react. And love lives can be dangerous to play with.

Or, for all we know, they have an open marriage, but his telling on her will feel like betrayal to her, and friendships will be ruined for no good reason. We don't know, and assumign is just darned stupid.

The thing is, if there's a problem between them, she's the one who should be talking to her husband. Not some third party who isn't part of that relationship. Speaking up may destroy something that could otherwise be saved.

So, if you feel something must be said, at least have the common decency to tell her beforehand that you plan to do it. Give her a chance to confess to her husband before you stick your nose in.

And, as before, have proof. Don't dare start on the basis of "your good word".

 

[Mark CMG]

So, any ideas as to a plan of action. Should I just give up and drop the two and tell her husband? Is it enough to just as them to cut it out?

The answer is obvious. Before the next game, give your buddy a call and tell him to pick up some snacks and sodas (or beer, whatever). Make sure she knows it is her week to pay for the pizza. Do the same each and every week. If they complain, explain that they have no choice unless they wish their affair to be common knowledge. Once you are sure they are bent to your will, cooking, laundry, and even bathroom cleaning are not out of the question. Just remember, start small and work up to the big stuff lest they break off their romance and ruin your opportunity to loaf a while. The student must become the master. Let us know how it goes!

Spoiler

Seriously, though, just kick them both out of the group if it makes you uncomfortable. I'd be willing to bet it is just as much that they are deceitful that bothers you, as much as what the details happen to be. Truly, who knows what else they might decide to do? Perhaps rip off all of their trusting friends before thay run away together?