Character Submission Thread

[stanleyindraven]

Character Submission

This is my character submission, hope it is done correctly as it is my first.

Frederick the Nomad
Which I apparently cannot link yet.

 

[Systole]

Link here.

Thirty second first pass: Add in bonuses for class skills. Buy some shuriken or other ranged weapon. Not sure if Belier's Bite is approved for LPF.

 

[DaisyGeoffreyWilliam]

First ever post, hoping to get approval. Please, please let me know if I did something wrong, editing is tricky!

It won't let me post links, but my page is called Cassandra, The Maiden (DaisyGeoffreyWilliams).

 

[Systole]

First ever post, hoping to get approval. Please, please let me know if I did something wrong, editing is tricky!

It won't let me post links, but my page is called Cassandra, The Maiden (DaisyGeoffreyWilliams).

Link is here.

Thirty second review:
1. I'm not against the use of cards as darts, but I can't find a trait/feat/power that should let you treat them as such. Perhaps the Rough and Ready trait?
2. Too many spells known. Should be 4/2, not 6/3.
3. Pretty sure Harrow decks are Golarion specific and therefore not approved for LPF. Feel free to invent a Tarot/Harrow stand-in, however, as we don't have anything like that and it's a great idea.
4. The cards, being a thrown weapon, should take a a penalty due to your Str.
5. I like this Tarot/Harrow culture and would love to see it more detailed. This almost sounds like Horselords flavor to me.

 

[DaisyGeoffreyWilliam]

Thirty second review:
1. I'm not against the use of cards as darts, but I can't find a trait/feat/power that should let you treat them as such. Perhaps the Rough and Ready trait?
2. Too many spells known. Should be 4/2, not 6/3.
3. Pretty sure Harrow decks are Golarion specific and therefore not approved for LPF. Feel free to invent a Tarot/Harrow stand-in, however, as we don't have anything like that and it's a great idea.
4. The cards, being a thrown weapon, should take a a penalty due to your Str.
5. I like this Tarot/Harrow culture and would love to see it more detailed. This almost sounds like Horselords flavor to me.

Thankyou!
1) I'll edit to take the Rough and Ready trait, I had no idea it existed. Thankyou!
2)The third level 1 spell is Cure Light Wounds, which all Oracles get and that doesn't count against the known spells limit, while the Haunted curse gets me Mage Hand and Ghost Sound as orisons known, bringing me up to 6/3, I think?
3) I'll change that, I think I might go with the traditional Tarot deck!
4) I'll change that, sorry. I'm not completely aware of the thrown weapon rules, so thankyou!
5) I'm sure I'll get it all developed soon enough~

Thankyou!
Edit: I've changed all of those things, so hopefully it should be okay now?

 

[Systole]

Thankyou!
1) I'll edit to take the Rough and Ready trait, I had no idea it existed. Thankyou!
2)The third level 1 spell is Cure Light Wounds, which all Oracles get and that doesn't count against the known spells limit, while the Haunted curse gets me Mage Hand and Ghost Sound as orisons known, bringing me up to 6/3, I think?
3) I'll change that, I think I might go with the traditional Tarot deck!
4) I'll change that, sorry. I'm not completely aware of the thrown weapon rules, so thankyou!
5) I'm sure I'll get it all developed soon enough~

Thankyou!
Edit: I've changed all of those things, so hopefully it should be okay now?

Cassandra is good enough to bring to the Dunn Wright Inn now. I'll bring my druid in tomorrow, so you'll have company shortly. I'll do approval-level check tomorrow when I'm sober.
2. Doh, you're right. My knowledge of oracles is not fantastic, I admit, and I did say it was a 30 second review.

A couple other things (Beware! Written while buzzed):
6. It really helps to upload a picture of your character. And you're probably going to have to anyway, since most GMs require a picture for map tokens.
7. The base damage on playing cards seems a little high to me. It's not a deal breaker for me, but there might have to be a brief judge discussion as to whether a thrown card should be as damaging as, say, a thrown dagger.
8. I think you have the Lore mystery, although I don't see it written anywhere. With your 18 Cha, you might seriously consider the Sidestep secret, as you lose nothing and gain a lot (+2 AC and +2 Reflex saves). And you can also redistribute those Dex points to other attributes (which admittedly hurts your throw attack and Dex skills -- also not much).
9. As you progress, you almost certainly want to look into the alternate favored class bonus for half-elf oracles. Extra spontaneous spells known is all kinds of awesome.
10. I found another way in to cards as a weapon: The Ancestral Arms alternate racial trait. You lose Skilled, but Skilled is meh anyway. And Multitalented is double meh, so there are bunch of possibilities for you here.
11. A melee weapon like a club helps to have around ... just in case.
12. 81 GP will buy you a potion of Cure Light or Shield ... also just in case. And because you can sell stuff back for full price later, spend now.

 

[DaisyGeoffreyWilliam]

Picture uploaded, Rough and Ready added, and Cassandra is now in the Inn! Thankyou!

 

[Systole]

Reviewing Cassandra:
1. You need to choose an open or closed background (i.e. GMs can bring in stuff related to your personal background or not)
2. Two World Magic adds a spell to your class spell list, but doesn't add it to your character's spell list. You the trait description, but it was implemented correctly. I fixed the description.
3. Added some racial abilities that weren't listed.
4. Regarding 3, added Keen Senses bonus to Perception.
5. Regarding 3, you need to pick a second favored class. Or an alternate racial trait.
6. Due to your 7 STR, you are into medium encumbrance with a 25lb load. If this is the case, then you're going to take a -3 to various skills and your speed will go down to 20 ft.
7. There is no Perform:Tarot skill. I think you meant Profession:Fortuneteller, which you need for the Rough and Ready trait, although the closest thing I could otherwise suggest is Perform: Oratory.
8. We need a quick judge decision on playing card damage -- I would prefer to stat them as shuriken for 1d2, 10ft, 20x2 critical weapons rather than darts. Any objections?

1 and 6 are minor, but 7 needs resolving before I can approve. NOT YET.

 

[DaisyGeoffreyWilliam]

Background chosen as open, alternate racial trait chosen regarding the second favoured class. Switched out armour for a lighter alternative, so unencumbered. Perform changed to Profession, and I'm fine with the cards being shuriken - I've marked damage down as being 1, rather than 1d2-2, because they'll always do a minimum of 1 damage. Is that right?

 

[Systole]

This is my character submission, hope it is done correctly as it is my first.

Frederick the Nomad
Which I apparently cannot link yet.

Reviewing Frederick:
1. Need to choose Open or Closed background (i.e. can GMs bring in stuff about your past)
2. Eventually, you should upload a picture of Frederick. I've added a placeholder, which just happens to bear a striking resemblance to the incomparable Gordon Liu in The 36 Chambers of Shaolin, which by the way is one of the greatest kung fu movies ever made, if not THE greatest kung fu movie ever made. There's a reason Tarantino brought Liu in to play Johnny Mo in Kill Bill 1 and Pai Mei in Kill Bill 2.
3. Belier's Bite is Golarion-specific and is not approved for LPF. You will need to choose a different feat or else propose Belier's Bite as an LPF-approved feat.
4. You're missing a feat. You get the normal 1st level, the monk 1st level bonus, and the human bonus, plus Stunning Fist and Improved Unarmed. That's a total of 5, and you have only 4.

Unfortunately, 3 and 4 are dealbreakers, so NOT YET.


Additional, smaller stuff:
5. In my opinion, the points you've spent in Int and Cha migh be better spent elsewhere -- monks are already multiple-ability dependent, and you're squeezing him even more.
6. Wis gets added to AC. Fixed. Oh you had it in as Misc. My bad.
7. Skill bonus is Racial, not favored class. Fixed.
8. Ranged weapon of some sort is strongly recommended.
9. Buyback in LPF is 100%, so there's no reason not to spend spend spend. A potion of CLW is always better than 50 gp in your pocket.