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Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern! (chapter 1, now closed)
- Thread starter Lazlow
- Start date
"Thmmiss..ism smooe goo...soop..." (Sounds of Slurping and more slurping, and chewing bread)"Nwww whee neeed to get a"
I put the spoon down and try to talk that way::
"As I was saying, We seem to have the basis of a group such as you are looking for right here. However I feel compelled to state that we would be much better off if we would co-ordinate our outfits so that our matching Uniforms could strike fear and recognition and maybe a bit of jealousy over our good taste into our enemies... We could try for a whole red and black motif, or green and white...does anyone have any preference and gold for me to aquire the materials needed to do this thing for the travelling personages that we will find ourselves being?"
I drink a bit more of the soup and eat a bit more of the bread::
"The gentleman that has been following me might make a mighty retainer for us, he could be loaded with a lot of items and caused to follow us with bright shiny baubles. We could take the mission and it will be a cake walk with my prowess, the ladies assets and minion, and the gaunt gentleman's outlook on removing breath from those around him."
I finish the soup and start to lick the bowl::
"Then of course in our smart matching uniforms we can go on to form the fiercest band of mercenaries that this land has ever seen. We could have a stronghold that we would of course color co-ordinate to our uniforms and a battle cry that allows our enemies to know that we are coming and they will flee before the terrible might that is us."
I finally stop talking for a second and look off into the distance.
I then proceed to pull out my small blank book and a quill and ink and start designing uniforms....
I put the spoon down and try to talk that way::
"As I was saying, We seem to have the basis of a group such as you are looking for right here. However I feel compelled to state that we would be much better off if we would co-ordinate our outfits so that our matching Uniforms could strike fear and recognition and maybe a bit of jealousy over our good taste into our enemies... We could try for a whole red and black motif, or green and white...does anyone have any preference and gold for me to aquire the materials needed to do this thing for the travelling personages that we will find ourselves being?"
I drink a bit more of the soup and eat a bit more of the bread::
"The gentleman that has been following me might make a mighty retainer for us, he could be loaded with a lot of items and caused to follow us with bright shiny baubles. We could take the mission and it will be a cake walk with my prowess, the ladies assets and minion, and the gaunt gentleman's outlook on removing breath from those around him."
I finish the soup and start to lick the bowl::
"Then of course in our smart matching uniforms we can go on to form the fiercest band of mercenaries that this land has ever seen. We could have a stronghold that we would of course color co-ordinate to our uniforms and a battle cry that allows our enemies to know that we are coming and they will flee before the terrible might that is us."
I finally stop talking for a second and look off into the distance.
I then proceed to pull out my small blank book and a quill and ink and start designing uniforms....
Ranger Rick
First Post
This rattily dressed person just stares at a couple eating. Completly oblivious to the surrounding events.
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Ranger Rick
First Post
Lazlow said:
Like a dog, the man's head follows the waggling bread. Than follows the arcing flight as it crosses the room. Deep in concentration he follows the bread as it bounces off the floor. Before the bread stops, the watress is standing in front of him, blocking his view. She asks him for his order, Looking down at the table than up to her face he drawls, "Hello mame, I....I...would ...like...a..t.t.tankkkk...a tankard of water please. Thank you."
Gray Shade
First Post
Berserker Bill gives thoughtful nods to the dapper warrior's verbal meanderings while obviously fascinated by his graceful Elven eating technique. "Yes. I see where your ability to speak vastly does indeed lead eventually to goals and schemes of grandeur. However, I will not require any deputies to don specific uniforms outside the badge, which I will leave to each member's discretion."
With a wave of the hand at the elf, Berserker Bill says to Sunderkeg, "Get yon fairie more to eat--a pheasant or game hen of some sort."
As if perhaps illiterate, Berserker Bill pays no mind to the tome the gaunt stranger is reading and strolls over to clasp a huge hand on the man's shoulder and give him a slight shake of appreciation and comradery. "Good man!" He says to him. "Studious!" He motions Sunderkeg to get this man a beer.
Berserker Bill then looks over at the female next to Richard, and says, "Introductions all around would make this easier, and I find it ironic that the only one of you whose name I know has not spoken to me. In any case, to join on this quest, I was thinking of Richard, you, the elf, this worthy man" here he gives the skeletal stranger another clasp of the shoulder. He then looks over to the man on all fours and finishes "and that poor soul."
He walks over to the man, removes some dry trail rations from his pack, and offers them to him. "Are you stricken?" He offers him the rest of his grog and turns back to the man with the book. "Learned man, can you name this ailment, and perhaps prescribe a cure? As is, he would make a feeble deputy."
He gives the man on all fours a long look then says loudly and slowly, as if speaking to someone very elderly or from a foreign land, "STAND, GOOD MAN! HAVE YOU REASON? DO YOU MASTER YOUR FACULTIES?"
With a wave of the hand at the elf, Berserker Bill says to Sunderkeg, "Get yon fairie more to eat--a pheasant or game hen of some sort."
As if perhaps illiterate, Berserker Bill pays no mind to the tome the gaunt stranger is reading and strolls over to clasp a huge hand on the man's shoulder and give him a slight shake of appreciation and comradery. "Good man!" He says to him. "Studious!" He motions Sunderkeg to get this man a beer.
Berserker Bill then looks over at the female next to Richard, and says, "Introductions all around would make this easier, and I find it ironic that the only one of you whose name I know has not spoken to me. In any case, to join on this quest, I was thinking of Richard, you, the elf, this worthy man" here he gives the skeletal stranger another clasp of the shoulder. He then looks over to the man on all fours and finishes "and that poor soul."
He walks over to the man, removes some dry trail rations from his pack, and offers them to him. "Are you stricken?" He offers him the rest of his grog and turns back to the man with the book. "Learned man, can you name this ailment, and perhaps prescribe a cure? As is, he would make a feeble deputy."
He gives the man on all fours a long look then says loudly and slowly, as if speaking to someone very elderly or from a foreign land, "STAND, GOOD MAN! HAVE YOU REASON? DO YOU MASTER YOUR FACULTIES?"
Grey Shade said:
At this I turn again::
"Look, how many times do I have to tell you to stop insulting me. I am an elf, not a faerie. Do you see wings? Do you see a really tiny person. Now I realize you may be lacking in education and grace, but again I say I am an Elf."
Look for the food he said to get me::
"I will gladly let it go as you have promised me some more of this wonderful food, however please make sure it is not flesh. I must say that I did not expect to find myself in this predicament. I am more than interested in going on your adventure. However, and I must stress this, the racial mistakes and slip-ups as to gender must cease."
At this point I look at the lady::
"I am sure that even a human like you could never mistake this beautiful specimen (beautiful for a human at least) for a male. Even you must be able to use the basic body types to tell the difference. And I am sure that you would not mistake our lovely hostess (lovely for a dwarf) for a human."
I look around at the folks he has pointed out::
"As to the prospect of uniforms it was made to allow us less leeway in hurting each other in a stressful combat type situation."
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Gray Shade
First Post
"*sigh* Again, fair Elf, no offense meant. Twas my understanding that Elf was a Faerie race, just as Water Weird is an Elemental race. I mean you no discredit and will not make this mistake again as it so insults you. Pray give me thine name, and it will be easier to discourse with you."
"As for uniforms: I find no fault with your offering uniforms, as you do seem to have . . . strong opinions on style, an area I myself admittadly lack knowledge of. In fact as a man of the law I would endorse such a thing, but will not force the others to 'aye' the proposal, and without the entire group wearing said beautiful clothing, one could not truly know the fineries as uniforms." He looks around to each of the group and continues, "thus, it seems proposed for a voting: shall the elf make us uniforms? Yay or Nay? To each a ballot. I will begin with Yay; however, since the mission is of such importance, we need to move out by morning and, I apologize sir Elf, but you will understand that even so important an aspect cannot impede our expiditious progress. Once the issue of uniforms is settled and the status of . . . " He looks at the poor soul sipping at a tankard of water, "potential members determined, we can get on with the deputizing and supplying."
Berserker Bill then moves to the bar for another drink and watches to see how the others react.
"As for uniforms: I find no fault with your offering uniforms, as you do seem to have . . . strong opinions on style, an area I myself admittadly lack knowledge of. In fact as a man of the law I would endorse such a thing, but will not force the others to 'aye' the proposal, and without the entire group wearing said beautiful clothing, one could not truly know the fineries as uniforms." He looks around to each of the group and continues, "thus, it seems proposed for a voting: shall the elf make us uniforms? Yay or Nay? To each a ballot. I will begin with Yay; however, since the mission is of such importance, we need to move out by morning and, I apologize sir Elf, but you will understand that even so important an aspect cannot impede our expiditious progress. Once the issue of uniforms is settled and the status of . . . " He looks at the poor soul sipping at a tankard of water, "potential members determined, we can get on with the deputizing and supplying."
Berserker Bill then moves to the bar for another drink and watches to see how the others react.
I turn Towards berserker Bill::
"Apology accepted. The name is Ranti, Ranti Akande. Elven Clothier and Warrior Master."
Looking at the people around me::
"So who amongst you will follow us into the jaws of sure death and great tales of adventure. Will will destroy those that seek to destroy us and provide them with wonderful gravecloths to mark their fall. We will then proceed to fulfill our destinies asthe greatest force this plane has ever known."
Look around for the food again::
"More of the food here would be wonderful. I am looking foward to the speedy service that they offer and the wondrous aromas that will be aroused in my palate. I can see eating at least 2 more bowls of the soup that they had and some greens and such..."
"Apology accepted. The name is Ranti, Ranti Akande. Elven Clothier and Warrior Master."
Looking at the people around me::
"So who amongst you will follow us into the jaws of sure death and great tales of adventure. Will will destroy those that seek to destroy us and provide them with wonderful gravecloths to mark their fall. We will then proceed to fulfill our destinies asthe greatest force this plane has ever known."
Look around for the food again::
"More of the food here would be wonderful. I am looking foward to the speedy service that they offer and the wondrous aromas that will be aroused in my palate. I can see eating at least 2 more bowls of the soup that they had and some greens and such..."
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