Winter Ceramic DM™: THE WINNER!
mythago
Hero
Judgment, alsih20 vs. Piratecat
Geez Louise people, I just got up. Here I work my fingers to the bone all week to feed my family and all you can say is, "Where's the judgment for Ceramic DM?" Buncha ingrates....
arwink
Alsih20
The real strength of Clay’s first entry was his vision of the setting in which the story took place. That same strength is present here, but his approach is clearer and stronger - the story more vivid and real as a result. The introduction works well, drawing the reader in and feeding them just enough information to keep them wanting more, and the slow build of mood and tension is great. It slips slightly towards the end of the piece - for me the ending happens far to quickly and some of the mood is lost, but the story holds together well and displays a fine sense of location (and, it has to be said, I’m a fan of water-based worlds).
Piratecat
Piratecat is a funny man. His piece picks an audience and plays to it, but manages to supplement the expected humour with a story that holds together and some sharp characterisation. There’s a sharp wit at work here, and the narrative style he’s adopted for Lidda is stylishly crafted. On a purely personal level, I would have preferred to see a slightly shorter version of this - the joke wore a little thin towards the end, especially if you’re not a fan of gamer gags.
Judgement
This is extraordinarily close, as both stories have a lot of merit and totally different styles. I give the round to Alsih2o by the barest of margins, mostly because I loved the mood he created in his story and I prefer to more serious approach to the humour in Piratecat’s entry.
Judgment: alsh20
Maldur
Oh man!
AlSiH2O created this fantastic story , gruesome, weird magic, a
monster.really great.
But them Piratecat shows up with an instant classic!
No choice: Piratecat wins this one. (I laughed so loud , my sides hurt,
still)
Judgment: Piratecat
mythago
alsih2o: see, you can too write, you big dork-o.
I loved the setting, the people in their little boats, the horror of so much dry land. And you managed to work in the pangolin.
I was confused by the connection between the stone and the visions, but the real "huh?" was the confrontation with the men in the white ships. Resources?....it seems like a lot of trouble to hunt people down so they don't breathe your air, but I seem to be missing something...
Piratecat: I admit it. When I first realized it was a D&D parody, I made a very Mirabelle-like comment. (Hey, you don't suppose that Sialia...never mind.) But I kept going, and despite my initial extreme suspicion, it got funny. And stayed funny. And was full of little in-jokes and asides that worked. And no puns, thank the Squamous Ones.
Judgment: Piratecat
Congratulations Pkitty!
Geez Louise people, I just got up. Here I work my fingers to the bone all week to feed my family and all you can say is, "Where's the judgment for Ceramic DM?" Buncha ingrates....
arwink
Alsih20
The real strength of Clay’s first entry was his vision of the setting in which the story took place. That same strength is present here, but his approach is clearer and stronger - the story more vivid and real as a result. The introduction works well, drawing the reader in and feeding them just enough information to keep them wanting more, and the slow build of mood and tension is great. It slips slightly towards the end of the piece - for me the ending happens far to quickly and some of the mood is lost, but the story holds together well and displays a fine sense of location (and, it has to be said, I’m a fan of water-based worlds).
Piratecat
Piratecat is a funny man. His piece picks an audience and plays to it, but manages to supplement the expected humour with a story that holds together and some sharp characterisation. There’s a sharp wit at work here, and the narrative style he’s adopted for Lidda is stylishly crafted. On a purely personal level, I would have preferred to see a slightly shorter version of this - the joke wore a little thin towards the end, especially if you’re not a fan of gamer gags.
Judgement
This is extraordinarily close, as both stories have a lot of merit and totally different styles. I give the round to Alsih2o by the barest of margins, mostly because I loved the mood he created in his story and I prefer to more serious approach to the humour in Piratecat’s entry.
Judgment: alsh20
Maldur
Oh man!
AlSiH2O created this fantastic story , gruesome, weird magic, a
monster.really great.
But them Piratecat shows up with an instant classic!
No choice: Piratecat wins this one. (I laughed so loud , my sides hurt,
still)
Judgment: Piratecat
mythago
alsih2o: see, you can too write, you big dork-o.
I loved the setting, the people in their little boats, the horror of so much dry land. And you managed to work in the pangolin.
I was confused by the connection between the stone and the visions, but the real "huh?" was the confrontation with the men in the white ships. Resources?....it seems like a lot of trouble to hunt people down so they don't breathe your air, but I seem to be missing something...
Piratecat: I admit it. When I first realized it was a D&D parody, I made a very Mirabelle-like comment. (Hey, you don't suppose that Sialia...never mind.) But I kept going, and despite my initial extreme suspicion, it got funny. And stayed funny. And was full of little in-jokes and asides that worked. And no puns, thank the Squamous Ones.
Judgment: Piratecat
Congratulations Pkitty!
alsih2o
First Post
and i so looked forward to changing my community suporter tag to "whipped p-kitty"
excellent story to lose to though!
i really think he wrote a classic that will be around for a long, long time.
the competition is great, i cannot tell you what a confidence builder this has been for my writing skills!
all the judgements find me nodding in agreement and wanting more.
thanks so much, now i sit and wait, ready to cheer p-kitty on!
excellent story to lose to though!
i really think he wrote a classic that will be around for a long, long time.
the competition is great, i cannot tell you what a confidence builder this has been for my writing skills!
all the judgements find me nodding in agreement and wanting more.
thanks so much, now i sit and wait, ready to cheer p-kitty on!
alsih2o
First Post
as a response to the judgements- arwink is right on my account again and again. makes me wanna move ot the land down under and spend a few years in a saffron robe near him. i found everything he said rang true and was usually quite helpful.
mythago, if i had a camera or two i could have made the connections stronger i kept seeing him flashing to the stones as they formed in him, the blood supply slowly receding as they formed whole of themselves. your lack of understanding of the men in the white bopats is sorta on too, i wanted them to eb cruel without reason, and didn't handle it as well as i should have.
i really wanted to set up this alternate belief system where-in it wasn't evil to kill a man if you were to take his stuff, but was evil; if oyu killed just to kill, but got caught up in the descriptions, as i am wont to do when writing. or talking. or rambling or posting
maldur was right on, what was i to do against an instant classic?
speaking of, where are you staying next year for gencon maldur? boston?
mythago, if i had a camera or two i could have made the connections stronger
i kept seeing him flashing to the stones as they formed in him, the blood supply slowly receding as they formed whole of themselves. your lack of understanding of the men in the white bopats is sorta on too, i wanted them to eb cruel without reason, and didn't handle it as well as i should have.i really wanted to set up this alternate belief system where-in it wasn't evil to kill a man if you were to take his stuff, but was evil; if oyu killed just to kill, but got caught up in the descriptions, as i am wont to do when writing. or talking. or rambling or posting
maldur was right on, what was i to do against an instant classic?
speaking of, where are you staying next year for gencon maldur? boston?
mythago
Hero
No, no, I thought you did a very good job of showing that belief system. That's why it was jarring when the guy on the beach said "Resources." If he'd just laughed, or said nothing, or "Because it's fun," that would have fit completely.alsih2o said:
Sometime I will post my anedote about critics who, as my friend Glamsith says, "tell you to take your baby, cut it into pieces, and reassemble it so it looks like a giraffe."
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Alhandra
First Post
I saw that.Piratecat said:
By Heironeous' thrusting sword!!!
Vad, you never showed me that - I mean... told me about that.
Too bad Lidda didn't show some of those nifty moves to Ariadne in that little Adventure Movie they had.
I'm sure Jo- (Berathion) -zan would have appreciated being free of the little hussy.
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