Judgment, alsih20 vs. Piratecat
Geez Louise people, I just got up. Here I work my fingers to the bone all week to feed my family and all you can say is, "Where's the judgment for Ceramic DM?" Buncha ingrates....
arwink
Alsih20
The real strength of Clay’s first entry was his vision of the setting in which the story took place. That same strength is present here, but his approach is clearer and stronger - the story more vivid and real as a result. The introduction works well, drawing the reader in and feeding them just enough information to keep them wanting more, and the slow build of mood and tension is great. It slips slightly towards the end of the piece - for me the ending happens far to quickly and some of the mood is lost, but the story holds together well and displays a fine sense of location (and, it has to be said, I’m a fan of water-based worlds).
Piratecat
Piratecat is a funny man. His piece picks an audience and plays to it, but manages to supplement the expected humour with a story that holds together and some sharp characterisation. There’s a sharp wit at work here, and the narrative style he’s adopted for Lidda is stylishly crafted. On a purely personal level, I would have preferred to see a slightly shorter version of this - the joke wore a little thin towards the end, especially if you’re not a fan of gamer gags.
Judgement
This is extraordinarily close, as both stories have a lot of merit and totally different styles. I give the round to Alsih2o by the barest of margins, mostly because I loved the mood he created in his story and I prefer to more serious approach to the humour in Piratecat’s entry.
Judgment: alsh20
Maldur
Oh man!
AlSiH2O created this fantastic story , gruesome, weird magic, a
monster.really great.
But them Piratecat shows up with an instant classic!
No choice: Piratecat wins this one. (I laughed so loud , my sides hurt,
still)
Judgment: Piratecat
mythago
alsih2o: see, you can too write, you big dork-o.
I loved the setting, the people in their little boats, the horror of so much dry land. And you managed to work in the pangolin.
I was confused by the connection between the stone and the visions, but the real "huh?" was the confrontation with the men in the white ships. Resources?....it seems like a lot of trouble to hunt people down so they don't breathe your air, but I seem to be missing something...
Piratecat: I admit it. When I first realized it was a D&D parody, I made a very Mirabelle-like comment. (Hey, you don't suppose that Sialia...never mind.) But I kept going, and despite my initial extreme suspicion, it got funny. And stayed funny. And was full of little in-jokes and asides that worked. And no puns, thank the Squamous Ones.
Judgment: Piratecat
Congratulations Pkitty!