Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)

[billd91]

Well, there's no banning of drinking with any of the games I'm playing with. The Thursday night game goes through about a 12-pack a week (we have a rotating schedule for who's bringing the beer) between 7-8 players depending on alternate weeks. The Sunday game, which my wife and I host, has a non-drinker but the rest of us drink a beer/cider or two. The non-drinker doesn't object, he just doesn't like alcohol.

Frankly, I still find the extent of the anti-alcohol stand a bit baffling. Personally eschewing alcohol, that I understand. Avoiding it because of a specific personal health issue (alcoholism), I understand. Refusing to associate around a gaming table because other people have a beer or wine in hand, aren't drinking to excess, aren't disrupting the game with it? That's just weird to me. It seems like an unfortunate barrier to construct when we could all benefit from having fewer barriers dividing us all...

 

[Dice4Hire]

Well, I never drink outside the game, so are you trying to say I should inteh game?

But more seriously, I rather intensely dislike alcohol in any form so I would never promote alcohol at a game, but I don't mind if others have a bit to drink, though it is vanishingly rare in my group.

I put alcohol up with TV, radio, computers, and etc that distract from the game. When I game, I am there to game, not multitask.

 

[aurance]

I deal with it on a case by case basis. Some people are awful to game with while drinking. Others are perfectly fine.

 

[Bumbles]

It seems like an unfortunate barrier to construct when we could all benefit from having fewer barriers dividing us all...

It is unfortunate, but necessary, as I've found that dealing with it in individual terms just doesn't work. People get too upset and feel like they're being singled out. At best, they realize their error when they sober up, at worst, they refuse to admit it and leave the game. Either way, the damage is done.

It'd be one thing if I found it to be a simple matter to deal with the problem. I haven't. It's made things more complicated and disruptive.

It'd be like saying "Ok, everybody except Charles has to use these dice, he can use his lucky ones because well, he's a good chap, he won't cheat" or even the "Ok, Charles you have to roll using these dice in this shoebox because we can't trust you to roll fairly" .

There may be times the group is ok with that, or that Charles is, but I would continue to say they are the exception, and that I would honestly prefer to treat everybody the same. So while it may seem to you like I'm creating a barrier, to me, it seems you're creating some barriers yourself, by putting people who don't want drinking in games outside the lines, people who can't handle drinking in their own lines and I just don't think the hassle is worth it for me.

I'd rather treat everybody the same. If I wanted to choose who was a good risk and who wasn't, I'd be an actuary.

And I hope that analogy illustrates the issue for you, if not, then just say no rather than argue with it.

 

[fanboy2000]

I'm a teetotaler. I don't go to bars or night clubs, but I've never had a problem with alcohol at the game table. There are a few reasons for this: 1) I often game in pizza joints that serve beer. Sometimes, a player decides to buy a beer with the pizza. 2) The only people who've ever had alcohol at my games are responsible adults. And 3) No one's ever been a bigger jerk than me at the table because of alcohol, so I've never felt there was a problem.

Personally, I don't mind being around drinking when it's not the main activity. I come from a family of heavy drinkers, so I'm used it.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

Frankly, I still find the extent of the anti-alcohol stand a bit baffling.

Me, too, with all your qualifiers intact.

But I also find it really interesting. It's difficult to explain, but having someone tell me, as a 41 year old man, that I'm not allowed to drink a beer ... well, I think it's as strange as if my host for the night said, "Oh, and we're nudist gamers. You can leave your clothes in the closet around the corner."

Well, okay, your house, your rules. Depending on my mood, I might even stick around. But it's damned peculiar.

And being told that "it's not personal, I distrust everyone"? Not really much of a mitigating statement, in terms of the peculiarity factor.

BTW, I've known many recovering alcoholics (we have at least one in our games), and not a single one begrudges anybody else alcohol. Accepting one's addiction as one's own is a major part of most programs.

 

[MichaelK]

I run my games off the top of my head which relies on quick thinking, careful choices and memorizing most of the books. So drinking isn't really compatible with my DMing.

As a player I usually avoid drinking because I'd probably lose the sense to keep myself from wisecracking and otherwise being disruptive.

Still, neither of those stops me enjoying a glass of scotch from time to time. A single standard drink won't affect me that much, as long as some time and drinks of water come between them.

None of us drink that much on D&D nights. We usually save that for poker nights or wrestling nights.

We haven't found any need to ban it though and I doubt we will in the future.

 

[S'mon]

I'm very happy to be gaming at a pub (London D&D Meetup at The Ship) so this really doesn't come up. My playing/GMing does suffer if I have more than 1 pint on an empty stomach, so I normally have 1 pint of London Pride, fish & chips, and a second pint, plus some water, over a 4-5 hour session, which seems ok. I do remember playing in a game where I had 2 pints and got in an OOC verbal fight with a fellow player when my PC wouldn't give their PC back their magic ring... Since then I watch my intake and food/alcohol ratio.

Edit: British culture is generally very tolerant of alcohol - especially the English, who seem to have higher alcohol tolerance than the Celts (I'm half of each). AFAIK the driving limit is around 2.5 pints, which to my mind is far too much to be in charge of a vehicle.
Also, traditional English social life tends to centre around the pub, which encourages civilised drinking; although excessive Friday/Saturday night town-centre drinking by the young has been a problem for the past couple of decades. American drinking norms seem more Scots-Irish, with either minimal drinking (1 can) or bingeing.

 

[Enforcer]

We sometimes drink in our games. The Sunday afternoon game, generally not (though we made an exception last time to celebrate the finish of Thunderspire and one player's new job), the Wednesday night game, generally yes, though it's usually only one other player and myself (the third drinker moved away and we miss him). One guy never drinks, though I haven't pried as to his reasons why. I honestly don't see the big deal.

I'm all for banning players who behave like jackasses, but alcohol consumption doesn't factor into that equation in my experience—it's usually an underlying character defect that can be exacerbated by booze. I'd find any game that sought to regulate my behavior with regards to alcohol unacceptable, especially if it's a game with food; I don't get drunk, but as food is usually part of gaming for me, so is wine or beer. To be fair, I have a pretty strong passion for alcohol: I work at a fine-dining restaurant and will be taking the next step of the Court of Master Sommeliers Exams soon.

I'm with others who have found the whole idea of "dry games" completely fascinating. I'll continue to read this thread with interest.

 

[amethal]

It's not a distrust of individuals. It's a distrust of human nature.

Gaming is a social activity, and a personal experience.

I'm happy not to drink in front of my friends, if it makes them uncomfortable. I couldn't imagine them asking me not to drink because "in theory someone who has a single glass of wine could prove disruptive".

I admire the way you let people know where they stand up front. It just seems odd that you treat your closest friends and complete strangers the same way when it comes to alcohol.