You would neither feel something, nor would you not feel something?
Or do you just refuse to answer?
It would help immensely to know which.
Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)
- Thread starter Obryn
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You would neither feel something, nor would you not feel something?
Or do you just refuse to answer?
It would help immensely to know which.
I'm sorry you would feel that way about my position. Is there any way to convince you that it doesn't reflect upon you, but rather upon drinking itself, and the potential problems of dealing with a given individual and their drinking.
In the case of your example involving the person calling you a name, I would recognize the difficulty of convincing that person of the offense they were causing, and therefore, that'd be why I'd use the no name-calling rule. Much like a person who won't admit they are drinking too much, a person may not recognize they're treating you in an offensive manner, so rather than argue with them about it, I'd rather just stop the argument about the behavior and whether it was inappropriate or not.
It's not going to absolutely eliminate the root of the problem, but at least it gets the labeling removed.
I hope mine does too.
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avin
First Post
My feelings too... I probably won't feel comfortable chosing to play with people who think in this manner, before knowing me.
I'm more inclined to think that every player I met needs at least a game session before I could judge if we play well together, or not.
no win
Certainly, I think you are in a no win situation. You can either make a blanket rule like you have that 1) avoids the personal confrontation, and 2) Lets you say "Hey, it is nothing personal, and we don't need to go into reason it is just my rule"
Which is fine, but it will come across to some as being too impersonal and not taking individuals into account. Which can be offensive to some.
or, you can make it personal up front, and you wind up with the personal confrontation that you wanted to avoid in the first place.
to quote Billy Joel, "either way its ok, you wake up with yourself".
If we were on your turf, and you seemed like a compatible gamer, I would play in your game and never bring beer or mention drinking. If we were on my turf, I would tell you that we do drink, and I understand that is a deal breaker for you.
RK
Certainly, I think you are in a no win situation. You can either make a blanket rule like you have that 1) avoids the personal confrontation, and 2) Lets you say "Hey, it is nothing personal, and we don't need to go into reason it is just my rule"
Which is fine, but it will come across to some as being too impersonal and not taking individuals into account. Which can be offensive to some.
or, you can make it personal up front, and you wind up with the personal confrontation that you wanted to avoid in the first place.
to quote Billy Joel, "either way its ok, you wake up with yourself".
If we were on your turf, and you seemed like a compatible gamer, I would play in your game and never bring beer or mention drinking. If we were on my turf, I would tell you that we do drink, and I understand that is a deal breaker for you.
RK
No, there really isn't. It isn't even about the drinking, specifically. Its the whole bit about someone breaking "your" rule by drinking a beer in their own house after inviting you to a game. This is not socially acceptable, you don't get to give other people rules.
It would be socially acceptable to ask for your host to apply such a rule, for reasons such as 'its against my religion' or 'I'm a recovering alcoholic'. But even then its not guaranteed, the host is ultimately the judge of things. Most would not accept "Well they might turn into a jerk."
So *can* you take your ball and go home? Of course you can. But I, and I'd wager most other people would not think well of you, and would assume that you are trying to overstep the bounds of the host-guest relationship.
The only real way to keep this rule up and not look bad would be to host the games yourself, or only play at non-alcohol related locales like game stores.
That's what I think too. Sorta. Though I think I can win, by accepting that I don't need a total victory. Sometimes you just have to go with what you can get.
Works for me. We can live and let live. It's those who seem to think it violates some rule, or is a terribly offensive request in itself that it doesn't seem to work with.
Ok, I'll not try to do so then, I can live with it. You can stop trying to convince me of things I already know, but I don't agree with as well. I know some people will think bad of me, and I'm sure they'll use reasoning like yours. I won't be convinced by their arguments any more than you'll be convinced by me.
Primitive Screwhead
First Post
Skipping almost 20 pages, since the OP is looking for personal opinion I feel that I won't be messing anything up by posting this late in the thread...
I don't drink and have expereinces, both in game and out of game, with people who were unpleasant to be around when drunk. Most of those people were quite pleasant to be with when sober or with a beer or two.
I am also a conservative Christian and do not beleive that I should enable others to go down the road to drunkeness, lung cancer, drug habits, or other unhealthy choices. It is thier choice... but I am not going to help them get there.
So, my freinds come to play in my game. There is no explicit rule and we never talk about alchohol, smoking, or drugs as it relates to any social activity I join in. Out of either similar desires or respect for me, its rare than my freinds will bring beer or smokes in.
So.. do I object to any level of drinking {in game or out}? No. However I do object to drunks... in game or out. There is a difference between the two.
In answer to Morrus.. Lanefan's much earlier question.. if I went to a new game and was having fun.. then someone cracked a beer, I would play on. If said drinker turned into a drunk.. I would pick up my things and leave. I do not enjoy social gatherings with drunks.
I think it boils down to respect. You may not agree with my dislike of alchohol, smoking, Burger King, or drugs... but if we are going to partake in a social activity, its proper that you display respect towards my preferences.
.. and, becuase the world isn't just all about me, it is also proper that I display respect towards your preference to indulge in a relaxing drink.
The end result of mutual respect has been, IME, enjoyable repast.
Whether we are talking about gaming, hanging out.. or discussing someone on this here thread.
Obryn
Hero
And I think that's a completely reasonable approach. Even in the first post, I wanted to make a distinction between having a few beers, not to excess; and being drunk.
Gaming + a beer or two is not very different from gaming + mountain dew, IMO.
Gaming + at least one player drunk is quite a bit different, OTOH.
I make that distinction for my own games, and like I said, I didn't invite one player back to my game in part because they couldn't take it slow and ended up acting like a drunken ass.So yeah. I completely understand setting the rules for your own home, and I completely understand not wanting to game with people whose behavior has been substantially altered.
I still don't understand not playing at someone else's home because there is beer present.
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