Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)

[Mr. Wilson]

Can't really say I've read very many 19 page threads all the way through.

My general conclusion after reading this thread is that I'm extremely lucky I've never really had to game with strangers, and anyone I've ever gamed with I've considered a friend.

 

[Morrus]

Well, I think I did. I see the question you posed as demonstrating exactly how hard it is to arbitrate such a conflict.

That's why I have no problem with a rule against name-calling. It avoids the conflict which tends to occur in the situations your hypothetical described. Instead of having to argue over whether or not someone was saying something not personal, you just say "don't do that" the same way I don't have to argue over whether or not someone was too drunk or not. It's not personal that way.

Now of course, you can still have cases where somebody thinks somebody was calling another person names, but wasn't, but hey, the rule isn't meant to eliminate all conflict. Just reduce some.

If you don't understand how I'm answering your question, then I don't know how to proceed to explain it any further. I've done my best. Perhaps you could get a better explanation from someone else.

No, you still haven't answered my question. You're talking about "rules about namecalling", which have nothing to do with my question. My question was:

How would you feel if I called you an offensive name and then excused it by telling you it wasn't personal?

 

[Morrus]

This isn't orange text so I can reply. Can we psychoanalyze ourselves?

I'm a anxiety ridden socialphobic with clinical depression and possibly mild Aspberger's. I have massive father issues due to his alcoholism and a deep abiding phobia of bars.

It doesn't need to be orange text, and this is definitely over the line. Please keep out of this thread from now on.

 

[Bumbles]

Er...exactly how can someone else better explain whatever it is that *you* are trying to say?

Is it really that unfathomable to you? Just in another thread, I had somebody say "that was my thinking, but you said it better" and I wasn't even trying to explain things for them, just put my own spin on things.

And of course, it's been done a few times in this own thread. So, I don't know the specific "how" of it, as it might be that they're better able to express it, or the person reading it may be more receptive to listening to another person, but if you haven't seen it done, well, I don't know what to say except...your life experience is different from mine.

And would anyone dare want to try?

Maybe. Maybe not. If they don't, then it's just going to be that way. Heck, someone might try and fail. It happens. But I know I've experienced cases where someone was trying to explain something to one person, and then another person explains it and they get it.

 

[Bumbles]

No, you still haven't answered my question. You're talking about "rules about namecalling", which have nothing to do with my question. My question was:

Again, if you don't understand how I'm answering your question, then I don't know how to proceed to explain it any further. I've done my best. Perhaps you could get a better explanation from someone else.

Me, I'm sorry, but I'm obviously not able to communicate my ideas effectively with you.

 

[Morrus]

Is it really that unfathomable to you?

Bumbles, please stop using terminology such as "If you don't understand how I'm answering your question" or "Is it really that unfathomable to you?"

Just as it isn't appropriate for others to cast aspersions on your mental health, it is equally inappropriate for you to cast aspersions on their intelligence.

Email me if this is an issue. Thank you.

 

[Morrus]

Again, if you don't understand how I'm answering your question, then I don't know how to proceed to explain it any further.

I'll attempt to make it easier for you. In response to the question "How would X make you feel?", pick one of the following options:

a) It would make me feel Emotion Y.

b) It would not bother me.

 

[Bumbles]

Bumbles, please stop using terminology such as "If you don't understand how I'm answering your question" or "Is it really that unfathomable to you?"

Just as it isn't appropriate for others to cast aspersions on your mental health, it is equally inappropriate for you to cast aspersions on their intelligence.

Email me if this is an issue. Thank you.

Ok, I'll do that.

 

[Bumbles]

I'll attempt to make it easier for you. In response to the question "How would X make you feel?", pick one of the following options:

a) It would make me feel Emotion Y.

b) It would not bother me.

Well, I'm going to disappoint you, because I pick neither.

 

[rkwoodard]

No, you still haven't answered my question. You're talking about "rules about namecalling", which have nothing to do with my question. My question was:

How would you feel if I called you an offensive name and then excused it by telling you it wasn't personal?

I understand the question. And I totally agree with the thought.

When I was in High School (late 80s), I was at a religious camp, someone I knew for over a year called me a Satan Worshiper, because I played D&D. It was not personal to them, it didn't matter how well they new me, it did not matter what I had done or lived my life. Everyone who played D&D = Satan Worshiper.

Sometime it "Not being Personal" is more offensive because you are taking the person out of the equation.

With the case of someone who will not game with me if I drink at the table because of possible problems because some people have behavior problems....

Yes, you are saying I am not worth your time to learn if we could play together.


I hope that came across in a coherent manner.

RK