Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)

[Bumbles]

And if you are at a BBQ, and the host is providing food, well.... it kind of IS their business what you eat, since they are feeding you. The reasons why aren't anyone's business either, but then responding in a weird, possibly over-reactive way about it will only get odd looks. It's possible that when someone asks why, it's just a conversation starter.

I said this already actually:

Do note, I'm not necessarily giving a full accounting of the conversations I have in real life, where I would share at least a summary of the reasons.

Did you not see it, and apply that same reasoning to the what I said in the paragraph above? Would it have helped you if I had? Can you apply that principle now and stop assuming what I'd be saying in real life? It would be much appreciated.

There's no real BBQ. I don't feel a need to give a specific reason when this is just some random person on the internet who I'm not actually eating with. Since some people want reasons, I gave a list of them, any of which I'd think would be acceptable enough, without specifying my own, because you know what I didn't want to do? Justify them further. I'm sorry but I just don't consider that to be especially desirable at this point in the thread.

It's possible that when someone asks why, it's just a conversation starter.

And it's possible that when somebody doesn't give a reason, they're just not interested in having that conversation. Which may be for any number of reasons. Would it help you if I listed some of them?

 

[RefinedBean]

edit: oh, and I'm within 1000 feet of a school and a church which adds an enhancement to drug crimes.

Yeah, that's the kind of thing that can REALLY screw ya, right there.

Of course, being across the street from two churches and a school didn't stop me and my roommates. That was college, though.

 

[Bumbles]

But it seems fairly clear that most people can't relate to your point of view, and I can't imagine that in of itself, that should be taken personally.

I don't. I take the attempt to relate my point of view to a psychological issue as an attempt to make something a personal matter. Why? Because that's a deliberate comment on my individual nature in a negative fashion. It relates directly to my person, and in an insulting way.

Don't you think?

Now, in English, I recognize how "Don't take it personally" is used as a way to excuse certain things that offend. In fact, I'd say that applies in regards to the rule I have against drinking. It's not personal.

I can't say the same for characterizations of an individual. Now if you want to ask, am I listening to what these people have to say about me? No, I'm not. As I already said, I know they don't know me, so I don't listen to it. Random people on the internet do not strike me as a good authority for psychiatric judgment. I know, that's a high standard, but I'm prepared to live by it.

 

[Doodles]

I don't usually drink during games. That said, a beer here or there, I have no problem with that. When I was playing World of Darkness games regularly at night, we would all pitch in and buy a bottle of Vodka. It would take the whole night for the six of us to empty it. Combine that with coffee, and it keeps you awake til the wee hours of the morning.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

Random people on the internet do not strike me as a good authority for psychiatric judgment. I know, that's a high standard, but I'm prepared to live by it.

And yet you've posted, what, at least 50 posts attempting to defend your position, including several decrying "psychiatric" and "psychological judgments"? Odd. (Oops. Psychological judgment!)

Look, "conflict avoidance" (if that's what this actually is) is a psychological issue, especially when it results in out-of-the-norm behavior. That's simply indisputable. It seems strange to me to make the leap from "psychological" to "negative," and even from "out-of-the-norm" to negative, but that's due to my own psychology and experience, I suppose.

 

[catsclaw227]

I said this already actually:

Do note, I'm not necessarily giving a full accounting of the conversations I have in real life, where I would share at least a summary of the reasons.

Did you not see it, and apply that same reasoning to the what I said in the paragraph above? Would it have helped you if I had? Can you apply that principle now and stop assuming what I'd be saying in real life? It would be much appreciated.

There's no real BBQ. I don't feel a need to give a specific reason when this is just some random person on the internet who I'm not actually eating with. Since some people want reasons, I gave a list of them, any of which I'd think would be acceptable enough, without specifying my own, because you know what I didn't want to do? Justify them further. I'm sorry but I just don't consider that to be especially desirable at this point in the thread.

And it's possible that when somebody doesn't give a reason, they're just not interested in having that conversation. Which may be for any number of reasons. Would it help you if I listed some of them?

OK. Easy, tiger.

If you want me to take every sentence you make in this long thread and apply it equally to all other posts you make, then it will be a very confusing jumble. I didn't apply that sentence because I don't recall it having anything to do with what I was posing about.

I was pointing out that your reply to his comment about offering a non-beer marinated steak was an overreaction. And therefore, it's possible that others might misunderstand your standpoint. I wasn't pointing out what you WOULD have said in real life. I was pointing out what you DID say in response to his post.

He wasn't asking in real life if you wanted a steak, either, and I wasn't asking you to justify why you wouldn't eat the steak.

 

[Bumbles]

If you want me to take every sentence you make in this long thread and apply it equally to all other posts you make, then it will be a very confusing jumble. I didn't apply that sentence because I don't recall it having anything to do with what I was posing about.

I can appreciate that it's hard to follow a long involved conversation. It's a difficult task, and if you fail, you can be offensive without meaning to be. This is one of those cases. I just don't feel you're understanding me fairly, but are judging me. I'd rather you not do so, but all I can do is...stop here.

So I will.

 

[Morrus]

You say "has convinced you" as if it's a subjective issue. Let's be clear. You called us both asses. In what world is calling someone else an ass not name calling?

To be fair to him, Mistwell, he didn't. He used a common coloquial phrase (one my grandma uses a lot, incidentally!) completely in context - it means "don't make assumptions". Yes, it includes the words "ass", "you" and "me", but that's not what the phrase means. It's a common joke riffing off the word "assume" as being made of "ass", "u", and "me", and it's perfectly friendly.

 

[Morrus]

If I said "No name callings" would you call it a personal judgment?

I wouldn't. If you do, then I'll have to go back to we're in two different worlds, and obviously they're not compatible.

I think you may have misread my post, because you didn't answer it. For convenience, I'll repost it here so you don't need to scroll through this admittedly lengthy thread:

You can't disclaim behaviour with the prefix "it isn't personal". For example, if I were to call you a deeply offensive name (not that I would), and then qualify it by saying "that's because you're perceiving it as a personal matter, when it's not one to me", how would you feel?

And in response to your question, no I would not call "no name callings" a personal judgement. Name-calling is an offensive behaviour.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

["Ass, you me."]

The quote regarding "assumption" is from The Long Kiss Good Night, and goes something like, "It makes an ass out of 'you' and 'umption.'" Great movie. Renny Harlin is underrated. (For a three-note Hollywood hack, I mean.)

("Ass" + "u" + "me" is, of course, what Bumbles meant, and of course it wasn't meant as an insult, but given that he actually wrote "assumption makes an 'ass' of 'u' and 'me'" it's pretty funny.)