For the polearm example, if the DM had said as a rule that all polearms go first, that's cool with me, so if I have a fighter who has a polearm, I know I'm going first and if I don't, I hope to go a close second or if I got a dagger, then I know I'm going dead last. But if one battle the pole arm folks go first, then the next battle the halfling with the dagger goes first, and then the next battle monsters just go first, and the next battle after that the characters go first, it gets frustrating.
But why would the halfling with the dagger go first? All other things being equal, I'd think he would never go first.
Or are you saying that a "judgment call" and a "fit of pique" are indistinguishable? Because if a Ref told me that the halfling with the dagger that charged the line of halberds gets to strike first, I'd think he was totally irrational (now, the turn after moving to contact, I can see why Bulbo would go first... he's inside the reach).
I in no way meant to suggest that going by judgment calls and common sense meant that you should have Two Face as your Ref. Some sort of grasp on reality is needed.
And if the retort is that rules are needed because your Ref doesn't have a grasp on reality... well, if that's the problem then you've already made a drastic mistake!