Why is it so hard to get people together to play?

[Wik]

I'm not willing to say Wik's group (or anyone else who has posted) are the type who are too busy partying to play D&D, but rather it simply comes down to the dedication level of the group as a whole.

Just to settle any curiousity on the issue in regards to my group...

Two players work Saturday nights. They run a dance instruction company, and Saturday nights are their usual get-togethers. I go about once a month myself. It's usually a lot of fun.

In addition, Saturday nights are Hockey Night in Canada nights, until usually around 9 or 10 pm. Three of the six people in our group are hockey fans. Sometimes we'll watch the games at a friends house, other times we're in a pub.

Fridays, I'm usually busy. As the GM, that means no game. Sometimes I'm partying it up... sometimes I'm in a pool hall. Lately, I've been watching a lot of Indie bands (so much fun!).

Sundays are sometimes an option, but it rarely works out that we game - probably because we already have mondays, and most of us are content with one game a week. I know I'd only join another game if I were the player - I like RPGs, but they aren't really something I want to spend more than, say, six hours a week on.

All that being said, we're very dedicated to a monday night game. I don't really know why people that play during the weekend seem to be more dedicated to the game than weeknight players, according to some people here, but I suppose maybe it could stand to reason?

I just know that, in my experience, it's much harder to convince six people to show up at the same time every week on a saturday than it is on, say, a tuesday. I imagine as you get a bit older and have kids, families, and the like, this probably changes a bit. Which is why I said for the 20-early 30 crowd, weekends might be the wrong time to schedule a game.

 

[DumbPaladin]

All that being said, we're very dedicated to a monday night game. I don't really know why people that play during the weekend seem to be more dedicated to the game than weeknight players, according to some people here, but I suppose maybe it could stand to reason?

I think the assumption is simply that weekends are too precious or important for many people to "waste" on something like D&D.

If a weekday group would work for us, I'd attend it ... but I am very glad we have 8 1/2 hours of gaming each time we meet on Saturday.

 

[DumbPaladin]

nice group for sure.

Both the DM and I consider ourselves pretty fortunate. I have been in a group before where numerous players made on lax efforts to attend each week, like the OP. It definitely sucks.

 

[Squnk]

Thanks to everyone for the advice, I'm going to run by some of the ideas with the group. Such as killing off a few campaigns and having set days a week to play.

I guess I had many misconceptions about how often people played, I was thinking multiple times a week or atleast once a week. But this has made me appreciate my group and how often we do get to play quite a bit more.

I hope I didn't confuse anyone on the point I was trying to make, I wasn't meaning to come off as complaining about how frequently we play. Just it gets rather annoying and a bit frustrating to be in a group that claims they enjoy playing but have a hard time pulling them altogether to play a session. There are three of us who are pretty devoted and will play pretty much anytime and anywhere. And one of these people is married, has four kids, and plays in a local sports league; and he rarely misses a session. The other two are the ones who make it difficult, both single and don't "party" on a regular basis but many times bail out last minute.

But anyways thanks again for all the great advise. Many of you will be getting some XP.

 

[ourchair]

All you need is one hot, single nerdy woman in your group and the guys will show up every time.

I'm fortunate in that we have lots of women in our gaming circles, and therefore if we get them, we are able to get the boyfriend too, or vice versa.

That said, I'm also lucky that this same group forms the core of a committee that organizes gaming events, so we're all pretty passionate.

Still, many good points have been made, and I'll reiterate some of them while providing my input:

* Commitment is shown by what your players do, not what they say - There's only so much you can do to reach out to those players, and I've found that so long as you make your game(s) easy to attend -- convenient and accessible location, consistent dates and frequent sessions -- then you're pretty much off the hook when it comes to them whining about not being able to game.

* Players need to know they're there to be playing, not goofing - I'm not suggesting making a social game a tyrannical experience on your end, but sometimes the people who complain about not gaming enough are the ones who can't focus on playing. They're too busy making Monty Python jokes and taking excessively long turns.

I have a very forgiving standard of roleplaying even for crunch-heavy games like 4E, which is something I say to all my players. "Ask yourself, what would my character do? Then tell your DM. He'll tell you to roll a d20 and add a number." That's it.

My point is that I don't expect my players to be experts at the mechanics, I don't expect them to be Shakespearean actors, and heck I don't even run the best game EVAR, but they have to understand that these games require focus and spending the first hour of game time talking about what was on TV last night is the easiest way to NOT get anything done.

Accept the fact that your players may not have anything in common but the game - Outside of my core group, I run a 'open seat' campaign. The setting is very sandbox-like, in the sense that there's a well-developed geography and history but a very story lite approach to campaign planning and I use pre-built delve-sized adventures.

I set this up because I knew there was no way to get people to agree on consistent schedules on a long-term basis. One player is a math major on his umpteenth year of school, another player is a freelancer with unpredictable work commitments, another player is a banker who gets up early. All of them have unpredictable weekends.

Sometimes, the problem of getting games on a regular basis is not anyone's fault but the fact that they are all different people with different lives, and the core of a very good and consistent group is a strong social contract with all individuals involved.

 

[megamania]

I used to game weekly with then a bi-weekly campaign also.

Then I got married


reduced to a weekly game only

Then changed jobs

played twice a month only with occational pick-up games

Then got second job


dropped regular game eventually restarted a new group that was bi-weekly but only played 4-5 hours per session

Players got additional jobs or girlfriends

reduced to once a month

Then nothing


Now two years later during the winter months only I play 1-2 a month with my kids.


Family vs jobs vs time vs gaming


Gaming loses nearly every time.



Today I was susposed to go to a DnD con here in Vermont. Didn't. Daughter played in the state finals with soccer. Family comes first first.


Sometimes I wish I was in college again where I played weekly. Such is life.

 

[Ulrick]

"The Auld Alliance," a great article from Dragon 216 offers the following nuggets to keep a gaming group playing regularly.

1. Game with friends. Its easier to change your schedule for people you like rather that people you barely know or tolerate. Gaming is just another social outlet for you and your friends.

2. Be responsible. When you schedule a session, that time is blocked out unless there's an emergency.

3. Be courteous. Don't make a mess where you play.

4. Include significant others. This is most important, IMHO. They can make or break a player or DM from playing. The significant others don't have to play, but they have to understand your gaming outlet.

5. Play regularly and be committed. Cohesion is key. And when you show up to game, play the game. Keep distractions to a minimum.

----
I used to run a weekly game. That ended with graduate school. Now I run a game every 2nd and 4th Sunday afternoon/evening of the month, 6-8 hours. This is working out well. We get to play once every 2-3 weeks and really get immersed in our sessions. It also seems to work well for scheduling. People can remember every 2nd and 4th Sunday.

I've tried running games on Friday night, Saturday afternoons and evenings. I stopped trying Friday and Saturday nights long, long ago. Even if they were every other week. Saturday afternoons are strange. In my case, either everybody can make it, or nobody can. Saturday afternoon games run into too much competition from everything else. For some reason, regularly tabletop wargames work better on a Saturday afternoon, instead of RPGs. But that's just my experience.

But Sunday afternoons and early evenings seems to work best, so long its not EVERY Sunday.

Short weekly sessions, 3-4 hours, on a Wednesday or a Thursday night also seem to work; players should be allowed to bring food to snack on, and not play too late.

I hope that helps.

 

[Aeolius]

As I mentioned over here , the last face-to-face game I DMed was in 1994.

I have 8 kids, many of whom have special needs. That being said, I am a father first and foremost. I am "on call" for their needs 24/7. However, I have managed to set aside Sunday nights after 9 as my "gaming nights" for running my online chat-based game.

I take what I can get.

 

[DragonLancer]

Maybe the gaming gods smile upon me but I find all this kinda weird. I run three games (a weekly Pathfinder, fortnightly Call of Cthulhu, and a fortnightly Deathwatch). My players, and there are a couple crossovers between the games, run the mix from single to married with or without kids, busy students, super busy office workers and a parents. They can all make their games. A time and place has been arranged and they make sure that their other commitments are sorted and doesn't get in the way of their gaming. If my players can do it I find it hard to believe that others can't.

 

[TheClone]

I guess the important hing is how determined your friends are. If they do plan their appointments and family and stuff and are not the more or less wishy washy kind of people everyhting works well. But many people do not seems to get the knack of it or are under too much pressure and stress to get their schedule straight.