Man, I have had so many experiences with absolute LOSERS.
There was the guy who can't stop making awful puns. We'll be playing a perfectly serious scene, and he'll break the moment with a monty python-esque pun, and everyone will groan. The moment was just thrown out the window. This is also the guy who made it a habit to order curry right before the game started. Grr.
There was his wife, who had an alarming tendency to roll "Crits" in boss fights. Of course, she took every feat possible to expand her crit range, but hardly a fight goes by where she doesn't crit at least twice. I'd almost accuse her of cheating, but they were open rolls - she has the luck of the irish. Beyond that, she wasn't that bad, although she gets cranky when she hasn't eaten much. Which tends to lead to two orders of curry, instead of just one. Lovely.
Then there's the guy who would play a wizard, and then spend half the session nose-deep in a gaming book. Sure, he was an attentive player, fun, and engaged... but he once insisted an NPC of mine adopt a "pirate voice", to the point where he threatened me. So I had a pirate NPC - "Yarr!" and "Walk the plank, matey!" and all that crap. It was so... shameful. Plus, when that other player would order the curry, about half the time this player would "go in on that", so there'd be THREE orders of curry. And this player only ever eats indian food at my place - he's never had it anywhere else! Do you KNOW how annoying it is to describe a fight with skeletons, only to have it interrupted with "Hey, what's this thing that looks like a donut?"
Then there was the "happy to be here" player who created PCs that had an ALARMING TENDENCY TO NOT DIE. I mean, I game because I like killing characters. And this woman had the GALL to not let her PCs die. For shame!
And finally, there was the jackass who has been taunting me, annoying me, and doing everything he can to make my life miserable. He's been doing this for twenty-one years - literally since the day he was born. My brother annoys the hell out of me.
Who are these five? They're the jerks I'm stuck gaming with every friggin' week.
And I'm glad I'm stuck with 'em.
