DM's Suport Group: Most Cliche Player Behaviors Ever

[GameDoc]

Okay, this is meant to be as much for humor as it is for catharsis, so please, don't flame me and get this off on a "you're being unfair to the player" discussion.

What tired, overdone, cliched player behaviors really get under you skin?

Here's mine: Haze the new character by making your first meeting a conflict.

Last night, a new player joined my game. He's a friend of a few of the regulars so that's how he wound up joining. Picking up from last time, the group had just defeated another band of warriors that ambushed them in the forest and were interrogating their captives. The rogue goes off the scout the area. So the new guy's character is traveling by and sees them. He approaches to see what's going on. He makes no threat or hostile action, introduces himself, and starts to converse with the others. Upon his return approach from scouting, the rogue sees the new guy and decides to sneak around and attack him from the back.

Amid groans and admonishments form the other players for bad roleplaying and a cocked eyebrow from me he says "well we were just attacked so my character doesn't trust any strangers now, so I am going to subdue this guy." Hello? No hostile actions - he is clearly engaged in civil conversation with your allies. He's not an orc or hobgoblin or member of a typical "enemy" race.

So I spend 20 minutes trying to get this resolved and all the while the dialogue from "Summoner Geeks" plays in the back of my mind.

I also have to add that this is not an inexperienced, adolescent gamer who might be given leeway due to immaturity. The dude has been around the game table for a long time.
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I have seen variations of this over the years. Typically it's a thief or rogue who just HAS to sneak attack, mug, or pickpocket another character. Usually with absolute compulsiveness if it's a paladin. On occasion it's the barbarian who has to pick a bar fight or perhaps a rakish bard trying to manipulate another into embarrassing himself. It occurs in the first session when the party meets for the first time, or is employed when a newcomer joins. Sometimes directed at the newcomer, but sometimes the newcomer does it as a means of inserting himself into the plot.

We've all seen it. At some point most of us have probably perpetrated it. But the bottom line is that it's been done. And done. And done... Nothing new. Not creative.

So, my fellow DMs, what cliched player behavior is your pet peeve?

 

[Piratecat]

Kleptomaniac halfling thieves who steal from the party "because it's in character." I ran out of patience with those a looong time ago.

 

[Robtheman]

I'd like to suggest we take these posts to their narrative conclusion. Explain how you dealt with the mega-cliche behavior.

I experienced a similar "new players" interaction, however it was actually two very good friends who were starting level 1 characters. They have a great friendship but they tend to flip each other a bit of ****. So, no sooner had I introduced the new guy and his wolf to the main party (which had recently been attacked by the ambush of kobolds before the Irontooth encounter), than the Assassin tried to hide and cast his shroud from hiding. He believed the Ranger would not be aware of his aggressive action. Natural 1 on his stealth roll. Woops. The Ranger and his wolf (newest PC addition) obviously freak out and head the long way around the encounter map.

So what to do? Let it happen.

They managed to down the Kobolds in front of the cave entrance, albeit with more damage taken. Understandably the Assassin and Ranger had no interest in hanging out together. The Paladin charged in the side near Irontooth along with the other 2 party members (Assassin and companion character Wizard). The Ranger headed in the other side with his wolf.

And that's where it got fun for me. =)

The only reason the didn't get a TPK is because I completely misread the Irontooth stat block. Even so, the Ranger and his Wolf had to solo the far side of the cave with the Kobold casters. His precious wolf almost died. That taught him a lesson. Sadly the Assassin got out of it without a scratch. His lesson would have to wait for another day.

The problem player knows they are jerking the other players and DM around. Fighting with them seems counterproductive - especially when they are seeking a reaction. The Rangers favorite character mechanic (the wolf) and most of his backstory almost went down the tubes. Even the insensitive Assassin player had to appreciate that. Previously we had played in games that lasted 2 sessions at most. Now they really care about their characters. The shenanigans have stopped for the most part because even the Assassin would regret starting over.

Between me and you, though, I'd have been just as content if they had TPK'd in that case.

 

[Shadowslayer]

One of the first campaigns I ever played in featured a guy like that. Very first game night the guy, a theif disguised as a monk, broke into every room at the inn we were at, stole a table leg from each one, and planted all the table legs in the Paladin's room. Stupid crap like that was this player's hallmark, and apparently growng up gaming with his brothers, this stuff was par for the course. His character lied to us, stole from us. led us into bad situations....and basically was a pain in the butt. He ended up losing 2 characters at the hands of our PCs and before he rolled up the third one, he was told in no uncertain terms that this garbage ended or he was no longer welcome at the table. It was just stupid stuff that equalled a lot of wasted time...when the rest of us just wanted to go adventuring.

He played nice for a little while but it was obvious he didn't get it. He thought we were the ones with the problem. He drifted away not long after that.

 

[GameDoc]

Looks like everyone has the same issue with rogue-types.

I'd like to suggest we take these posts to their narrative conclusion. Explain how you dealt with the mega-cliche behavior.

So what to do? Let it happen.

That's basically what I did. The player's are friends and it was partially one guy giving his buddy a hard time. It would have been a round of action and done except it drew the ire of the other players who first admonished the player then switched into roleplaying and had their characters admonish his character. To which he defended himself both in and out of character. Ultimately, I had to remind them that their mission was time constrained and if they stood in the forest bickering they might fail simply by running out of time.

I imagine for as long as I DM, this will happen on occasion and the best thing is just to roll with it. On a rare occasion, with skilled roleplayers, it might even turn into something interesting.

Still, in my head I am like: "Dude, WTF? This shtick again... really?"

 

[Hautamaki]

I generally try to make most adventures and encounters difficult enough that TPK is at least a possibility even if the players are working together perfectly; if they are bickering among themselves TPKs become practically inevitable. Nothing unites a group of players and characters like abject fear for their lives =p

 

[Mark CMG]

So, my fellow DMs, what cliched player behavior is your pet peeve?

I'd like to suggest we take these posts to their narrative conclusion. Explain how you dealt with the mega-cliche behavior.

"Orphan" with a "birthmark" and a "destiny" written into background = disallowed by DM.

 

[Nemesis Destiny]

Kleptomaniac halfling thieves who steal from the party "because it's in character." I ran out of patience with those a looong time ago.

The only thing worse than this is kleptomaniac kender thieves who steal from and lie to the other party members "because it says here in the book that I have to."

A thin excuse for arsehat behaviour.

A fellow party member once tried to do this to a mage I was running, so I subdued and slit the foolish kender's throat (in fair, single combat) for his trouble. Naturally, the DM was sympathetic toward the annoying kender (or his player), causing a huge annoying rewind. I nearly quit over it. I probably should have.

Thankfully, it has been many a year since anyone pulled crap like this in one of my games.

 

[pawsplay]

The player who won't make up his mind. "I can take as much time as I want. It's my turn." No. Not anymore, it's not. I mean, I'm not running speed chess, but I think during combat I can insist people take a reasonable amount of time to declare.

Treating NPCs like sub-humans. In one otherwise well-behaved group, this took an ugly turn when one of the players insisted, in character, that the NPC paladin accompanying them was not entitled to a share of treasure or loot, as he was not part of the "party leadership." Since the NPC, a character equal in level to them, who was risking his life altruistically for the mission, was a haughty sort, I just had him dress the PC down for his petty greed and announce he was not doing it for gold or glory. The other players then insisted the paladin be treated equally.

 

[Elf Witch]

People have already mentioned the rogue who has to steal from everyone. I hate this as a DM and a player. It is one thing if the rogue is just stealing a little extra gold. But I have seen them steal most of the magic items and turn around and sell the ones they don't want. Which weakens the entire party.

I got so frustrated with a player doing this in one of my games that I fudged a spot check for the party cleric who then caught the rogue stealing. The rest of the party was furious and they told the rogue that if he was caught again he was out of the party. After that they searched him and his pack after every encounter.

The other thing I hate is when you have a player who has made a character with high diplomacy and good negotiation skills and you set up an encounter where good diplomacy and negotiation can work. But the minute the player tries one of the other players will attack without provocation making diplomacy at that point next to impossible. Everyone should have a chance in the spotlight and it just seems selfish when other players do this.